Modern Day Spinster

Hello again hello

2007-08-21T16:34:00.000-06:00

Wow it's been a long time since I've been back here. I feel like I just picked up my journal from the shelf and can pick up where I left off. Well easy readers I've been a busy graduate student. I can't believe this is my second year of madness. If I could only find my ID card, it would bring my world back to balance.

My life has been basically filled with me and my nose in a book or near a computer typing my little heart out. There were no new contestants over the summer. There was one possibility but it fizzled out. All I had to remember him by were the charges on my cell phone bill for all the text messaging that conspired between us.

Some changes have gone on since I last posted.BJ,Zach, and Minnie have moved to the coast leaving Chicago behind. They had a hell of a time trying to sell the house. That is until the saint came into play. Which saint? Of course it's Saint Joseph the patron saint of house sellers. I thought I was going to have to go deep into religious bookstores to find one but all I had to do was go to the local hardware store to find one. It was the best eight dollars I ever spent. I went with Zach in the backyard and together we dug the statue in the backyard. Less than two weeks later they had a firm offer.

Fred,Ethel, and I miss Zach very much. It feels weird to drive by his preschool and know there is no reason to stop by. No more spring festivals or trick or treating. Until this past weekend I still had a booster seat and a bag of books in the trunk of the car. It feels weird to see it all clean. Now if only the cleaning mode would transfer to other areas to my life.

That's it for now. I'll try to post when I get my work done. Hopefully it won't be more than six months.

You're Gonna Carry That Weight

2007-02-12T21:25:00.000-07:00

It's official B.J. is headed to Coven Country. Part of me is happy for him because he hasn't been with what's going on for him here. My parents are keeping a stiff upper lip about it. I didn't think it was going to affect me but a Beatles song came on the radio and I started to cry thinking of him and Zach being so far away.

Unlike B.J. I have to bloom where I'm planted. Sometimes I feel so stuck. Other times I feel worse. Classes have been very hard this semester. Hey to some they might be blow off classes. If I could have that option, I would have more fun. It just sucks that I'm always a step behind. Story of my life. It's not so much a complaint as it a statement of fact. I have a paper due in a few days and I'm supposed to whip flawless designs along with them.

Local news featured a community college class called how not to marry a jerk.It's a government sponsored program. Gee thank you George Bush. Have some Macy's Frango Mints.

Can You Take Me Higher?

2007-01-31T19:43:00.000-07:00

This semester is just bananas. Jack Frost is nipping more than my nose. I was so glad to find a store that had some thermal underwear left. It took me three stores before I found tops and bottoms. Sheesh. Note to retailers: This is the land of the windchill factor. That means you don't make your stores ship back inventory that they can still sell because IT'S STILL WINTER. Did the scientists involved with the global warning issues leak some information to you? Even Bessie the monkey from The Beverly Hillbillies, knows that you don't send back until after President's Day.

My body is just aching all over. I had no idea the arts could be a way to lose weight. Between the anxiety over professors and projects, I'm on my way to a smaller self. At the end of the day, I'm surprised I'm still able to make it back home. When Prof. X, asked me what I thought of something, I replied, "Whatever you think is fine by me." Nothing says respects like getting barked at by your drill sargeant err instructor. It's just draining the life of me.

It's really cutting into my laundry time. This is the second time in a month that I had to go shopping because there was no time. Last night was another example of impromptu interruptions. I was all set to go out when Ethel gets a call from her brother. She offers the information that I'm available to work the dvd player to see more adventures from the motherland. It ticked me off. All she had to do was say that I was anywhere but there. But hey she's just Ethel. I went out to the frozen tundra and found what I was looking for. I was so tempted to picked up a must have dvd. It's the limited edition (aren't they all?) of Pride and Prejudice. The version I love is the one starring Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. I don't know why but it's my generation's version. I know a couple of years later another version made it to the big screen but it just wasn't the same. But I had to say no because higher learning was calling my name. Drat. Just the same I may pick it up this weekend since I have a coupon.

Then there was the free food giveaway on campus. It was a make your own sundae bar. I took a break from the trenches and walked down there. Par for the course there was a line around the block. As much as I wanted to have some ice cream I knew I could do without it. So it was right back to the drawing board. Put don't give me a gold star just yet. After dinner, I munched on some twizzlers.

In local news, some pregnant lady is going to the Superbowl because she put a temporary tatoo of ubid.com on her belly and will walk around with it in Miami. I hope there are no side effects from the ink.

Congrats to the folks who fixed the Tute's Lions helmets. The cold just cracked those suckers down the line yesterday.

Bitter days

2007-01-29T20:03:00.000-07:00

To the easy reader from Moscow:

I hope you found what you're looking for after reading so many pages of this blog. Feel free to say hi the next time you stop by.

This semester is no fun at all. It's all work of the pita nature. I'm starting to question everything and it sends me into another anxiety spin. I finally reached the point of no return. I have to do laundry or else I start wearing my Sunday best to campus. Not that I don't enjoy showing off my fashion skills but not when I have to go to a messy lab. Everything thing I made today was total crap and I junked it all. I have no clue how the heck I'm supposed to get this project done in a week. There's no book, no guidelines, and a template to guide my way. It's not helping me, dude.

I'm just totally frustrated.

On The Outskirts And In The Fringes

2007-01-22T19:02:00.000-07:00

Normally, I don't double post but I had a really rough day and just needed to get it down on paper. After today's studio class I'm starting to question my skills as a human being. Everything I made just stunk to high heaven. There are ancestors from the motherland who are spinning in their graves because I sucked so bad. As far as I'm concerned it's pinchpots for Hitler. I have no clue what to do. Part of me just wants to drop out. I'm so freaked out about this. I can't take my usual route of overeating and it's killing me. Everyone else around me was building masterpieces and all I could come with is shit. I'm so frustrated that I haven't mastered this skill that everyone seemed to have on their first try.

We're Just Here To Do The Superbowl Shuffle

2007-01-21T16:54:00.000-07:00

CHICAGO BEARS ARE NFC CHAMPIONS!!!
BEAR DOWN MIAMI WOO HOO!!!

Gee can you tell tell how stoked I am about todays win? Somehow I feel that Papa Halas and Walter Payton were sprinkling the snowflakes over Soldier Field during this game. The team has worked so hard together all season to get to this point. Tom Jones gets extra mention because he wears a tattoo of Betty Boop on his arm. You go boy!

Since the Bears are heading down to Miami, could the Bears organization please finally get around to giving the '85 team their championship rings? Ante up and fork it over. It's not like you can't afford it. Besides it will make you look bad down in Florida if everyone is talking smack about you being such cheapskates. Do the right thing so you don't jinx the SuperBowl. Thank you.

I was glad I was able to share the moment with Fred and Ethel. In a interesting turn of events, Fred admitted to saying a prayer before the game started. I knew he was a true believer after all. It was a good thing I finished most of my errands yesterday. Boy the shoppers were out in force because of today's game. Jeez, this does put me in a quandry of sorts. My Sister's Closet usually has a Superbowl sale every year. I wonder what they'll do this year. Hmm.

It's total mayhem. Every radio station is playing "The SuperBowl Shuffle". Total classic.

You Might Enjoy The Madness For Awhile

2007-01-17T19:07:00.000-07:00

I come to you in 2007 a shinier and happier Starla. I just didn't think it would be good karma to spew negative energy out into the void. I survived New Year's just fine. Instead of ringing in the New Year with Dick Clark. I spent it watching the camp classic, 200 Cigarettes. It's a great flick. Rent it.

Well I'd like to say that I spent my free time productively but that didn't happen. I watched all 59 episodes of "Are You Being Served?". That britcom was absolutely bloody brilliant. Certain episodes had me in stitches. Part of me wonders if I'll go the route of Mrs. Slocombe and just have a pussy as a pet when I get that age. All in all it's a must rent if you have some free time on your hands.

I played catch up with the show that's all the rage "Ugly Betty". What can I say, I love it. I'll just have to get the first season on dvd because this semester brings another chance for me to miss good shows. Thank you Cats for telling me about it.

I really didn't get that all into the Golden Globes. I don't know why but it just doesn't do anything for me. Perhaps it's a sign of maturity or just that I could care less about the foreign press association. Isn't it usually a gimme that if you win a Golden Globe that your chance to win a Oscar is piss poor?

I had a chance to look back at last years resolutions. I was amazed that I followed through on some of them. I'll get this year's list up sometime soon. I am making one change that I didn't think would happen so quickly.

Like all of the other fat Americans out there, I think I've turned the page on healthcare. Part of the reason I didn't feel like posting was that I wasn't feeling well. There was a point where I was having chest pains, center and little to the left, for about a week. I was scared shitless that I was having a heart attack. Since that episode all is well. I guess when my body heard that I was actually going to drag my ass to a doctor, it decided to heal itself. Think of it as the same premise as when you have great hair days just after you've scheduled the appointment at the hair salon. Add to the mix, my sleep patterns are off kilter. I'm waking up two to three times a night. The sudden awakenings are followed by mini anxiety attacks. Hopefully I'll get back on track with that.

The health mode also includes me making a life change. Something I had debated on posting because it's something I'm not proud of. On New Year's Day at Uncle Maxim's annual dinner I had a fat person's moment with furniture. Let your head fill with ideas because I'm still to ashamed to admit to the chain of events. Luckily, I didn't get hurt and the few people who were witnesses just let it slide. For that I will always be truly thankful to Uncle Maxim and Aunt for their kindness toward me. One of B.J II's friends described the set up as a dinner party. Since I've always had to go, I just thought of it as a command performance.

Thanks to Oprah, I've joined the latest diet. It's called Bob Greene's the best life diet. Here's the website for it. You can join for money. I went the other route. I bought the last book Border's had and a daily planner. From the moment I first read the book, I haven't been able to put it down. At least I have gotten farther than I did with Dr. Phil's Weight Loss book. I love Dr. Phil but there's no way I could get past the part where you set up your support system. This time around it's very sensible and everything is spelled out. Greene explains the importance of vitamin supplements AND exercise. I love how you can stay at a certain phase for as long as you need and not the other way around. Slowly, I have been making babysteps.

Classes are back in session.

All Through The Year

2006-12-31T10:51:00.000-07:00

I'm still in the blue funk. I didn't see the point of posting anything to just ruin the spirit of the season. In a way I'm glad I'm not going out on amateur night. The increase of drunken drivers and recklessness of at least one idiot shooting guns in the air to celebrate is enough to keep me off the streets. Like other holidays that are overrated at least one couple will break up tonight somewhere because tonight didn't live up to the hype.

As far as resolutions go it's the usual mix in an added dose of getting 4.0's this year. I am truly grateful for the blessings of this year.

May all easy readers have a happy and fun New Year.

Chestnuts Roasting Over An Open Fire

2006-12-24T14:25:00.000-07:00

Here it is Christmas Eve and I just can't get into it the spirit. I don't care if I have to watch It's A Wonderful Life over and over. Part of it is because I stepped over to the dark side yesterday. I went into a Macy's. Now before I get called to the carpet on my disdain for Federated Stores I had to go under duress. B.J. told us to get Minnie a gift card from there. Actually his first boy suggestion was to get her French perfume. Um, you don't know what her signature scent is but because I share the same girl gene I'm supposed to automatically figure that out. It wasn't as bad as I thought. I saw some cute Coach boots way out of my price range. It killed me to see Frango mints with a Macy's box on the cover. So I picked up a different Frango Mint box. I would have splurged for the Godiva but no one was at the counter. The saleslady was very nice and patient. Parking was great. I just stopped in the middle of a parking lane and waited for anyone to come to their car. I waited about five minutes and poof a spot opened up just for me. I almost went window shopping but I thought why bother. Everything is going to drop to half price on Tuesday. That's where the real mania will begin. But I won't get to join in the fun because I'll be with Ethel at p.t.

Jeez sometimes men are so much easier to shop for. B.J. just tells me what colors he wants and unlike me doesn't change his size. Fred always gets pajamas. For the first time in eons I found Ethel a gift she finally liked and would use. A flannel housecoat. But she didn't want me to wrap it up she wanted to wear it now. She doesn't even want me to wrap Zach's gifts just to hand him a bag. Gee where's the fun in that?

I'll be wrapping tonight so I won't have a repeat of last year. Sometimes it's good to prepare in advance. Part of me wishes I didn't have to go out for the faux love fest. It makes me miss Ethel's sister who always brought joy whereever she went.

In the relative department, Fred touched base with his brother who back in the motherland. When it came time to talk about me, instead of telling him about how I got into grad school and the awesome grades I earned all he could say was, "Starla is still fat.". WITW was he thinking? I am more than just the excess weight. It realy hurt me that's all he could say to his brother. What a mean thing to say!
I cut his time in half today at the Jewel by introducing him to the self-checkout lane. Then Fred went on about how his great nephew is going to be a multi-linguist. It's not that he's a genius. In Europe, they are teaching children multiple languages in response to the global economy. Instead of No Child Left Behind, Bush needs to focus on introducing the a,b,c's of different countries at the little red schoolhouse.

At least, Ethel let me know what I was in for tonight. Cousin _______ is pregnant with baby no. 3. I'm happy for her and pray that the future baby is happy and healthy. Part of me wonders what difference my degree will make to the world? It's one of those slippery slopes where the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

I'll Be So Blue Just Thinking About You

2006-12-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

I miss my hat. Yep, I said it. On Monday, when it was that combo of warm/cold outside, after grocery shopping I left it in the front passenger seat because I thought "eh, why bring it in, it's nice out". Stupid, stupid, mistake. The next day I go out to the car and it wasn't there. In its place was a Wal-mart bag. The kicker is that I hadn't been to that store in weeks. My blue and white speckled wool hat that I knitted by hand has been absconded by the great beyond. I'm pissed off. I've had that hat for over four years. I started knitting it when my mom was in the hospital. I have ripped the inside of the car and the trunk looking for it. Now I'm going after my place. I don't know why it would leave me. I loved that hat. Granted it went with nothing I wear but it didn't matter. It was unique and a starla original. I grow more frustrated each day passes by and it is not found. You know that I loved you, right? We went everywhere together. You're immortalized on film because of that picture I had taken with everybody after class. I'm sorry if I ever did anything wrong to hurt you. Please come back. I've heard of people stealing car radios, hubcaps, engines, tires, but a hat? This is so whack. I'm totally buggin' over this.

Now that the weather is rainy yucky out, I will have to go back to the yarn shop and make another one. I don't want to get caught without a hat. On that cold day this week, I went outside without a hat. I ended up getting a headache and the sniffles. I wasn't planning on starting any project because OMG IT'S 4 DAYS LEFT OF SHOPPING 'TIL CHRISTMAS!!! but I refuse to have my head uncovered. I tried an old hat I had but it's a tight fit and that's not good for circulation. When I see the blizzard conditions in Denver it scares me. When I think of shoveling my way out to freedom I shudder.

I'm so excited that I get to watch another night of Grey's. Life is good. Thank you God and Jesus.

The Stars Might Lie

2006-12-18T09:59:00.000-07:00

Yippee it's another Bears win. I didn't have the heart to watch another nerve-wracking game. I like that we'll have home field advantage during playoffs.

This weekend was touted by horoscopes as the one where Mr. Soulmate was to appear. Surprise, surprise when that didn't happen. I feel like I believed in the Great Pumpkin and got bupkiss in return. I don't know why I put my eggs in one basket. But with classes over I needed to find something to occupy my time. Why not, focus on the nonexistent lovelife?

The meet with mr. potential never happened. He called over two hours late and still expected me to see him. Um, no I don't think so. Then we rescheduled for the next day. Well fate decided it was not to be. We were ambushed by Uncle OG and his dvd of his excursion back to the motherland. Three hours later he was merrily on his way. But I was an hour late touching base with mr. p. Oh well.

I spent Saturday night at a small get-together in my old hood. I had forgotten what a pita parking was around there. My parking karma just sucked big time. Just as I thought, "I'll park by Green Mill and cab it over.", lo and behold a parking spot appeared. There might not have been alot of people because of the parking situation but I had fun. I surprised myself that I could carry on a non-school conversation. You just get into the mode of academic wordspeak and it's hard to shut down. I'm glad I just had one drink. Limits need to be put in place for a reason. One of A's roomates got schnockered. It was fun to watch. Even funner was when her one co-worker showed up. She claimed she didn't like him. Then why invite someone you can't stand over. Gee that makes total sense. The end of the evening turned into comedy because I couldn't remember which street the car was parked on. I had been driving down side streets for so long that I couldn't remember where it was. After some time, it was found and I was on my merry way. I almost went out afterwards but decided against it. Granted I could have gotten in the cheaper cover charge since it was after midnight and I looked the part but just didn't need it.

It Doesn't Cost A Thing To Smile

2006-12-15T08:51:00.000-07:00

Woohoo!!! The semester is over. Papers have all been turned in and on time. I almost headed to campus in my jammies because it had been eons since I had done laundry. But that will be taken care of today. I was so happy to see Grey's Anatomy last night. I didn't even care that it was a rerun. It just means that I actually have free time on my hands. I get to read whatever I want for fun.

I really do believe that God doesn't close a door without opening a window. I received another rejection letter from a potential gig. It didn't even bother me. I was glad because I don't think I would have been able to get all of my work done with an additional yank in my chain. As far as I'm concerned it's all good. I didn't really want to head back into the black hole of retail anyway.

This weekend begins my way back to socialness. Tonight is a possible dinner date with a new mr. potential. Then tomorrow is a small get-together and a possible stop to one of my favorite places in the city.

Baby it's cold outside

2006-12-01T17:19:00.000-07:00

Actually it's a whole lot of stuff. On the drive last night, I was priveledged to have one of IDOT's salt trucks escort me some of the way home. That sleet was no fun to drive. I thank my lucky stars that I got home before 11.

This morning I was awoken by the sound of thunder and lightening. They weren't kidding about the snow. I almost threw my back out twice when I was shoveling. Like everyone else I was out of practice. Luckily the snowplow came by or else I still would be shoveling. I have to share this part. Fred was so mad about what happened last year, he shouted to mr. plow. "Clean out the gates!!!". He meant to say clear the streets and I was beside myself laughing.

As with most snowstorms,our sump pump chose to die.I have to give alot of credit to the city and state for a super job of keeping the streets clean. Too bad I can't say that for certain drivers.

Hey Lady in the Lexus,

Every weatherperson and newsperson IN EVERY STATION IN THE STATE OF ILLINOIS said proceed with caution when you drive today. That means you don't drive with your cellphone in your hand. The streets are bad enough without your phone call about absolutely nothing causing a pileup.

The grocery store was jammed with customers. I felt real bad for the cashiers. At least this time there baggers available. Fred pitched a fit because I refused to follow his route out of the Home Depot. I'm sorry but I'd rather take the long way out than go through a unsafe short cut. Hey there's always option B. Get to steppin'.

Everything was cancelled today. I wish I could say the same thing for this weekend. Le sigh.

Have a great month everybody!

Counting My Blessings

2006-11-26T21:09:00.000-07:00

I was feeling a bit guilty for not posting over Thanksgiving break. I just threw caution into the wind and ignored everything I was supposed to do. I needed a spring break of sorts. Although visions of beaches of sand and sipping tropical drinks sounds good. I thought if my blog can be found by using the word Thanksgiving then I better do something about it.

This years festivities were bittersweet for some of us. Minnie was still ticked off that B.J. didn't get the out of state gig she wanted for him. That way it would have been more convenient for the coven to gather for the holidays. So logically,she locked herself in her room and talked on the phone until B.J. finally got her to come to the table to eat. Such lovely manners and she's the one who's supposed to be the bright one. Yeah right. Zach was great as usual. But the poor little guy got shy when it was his turn to say a small prayer. He got over it by having a tantrum at the table. Minnie kept calling him a brat while he's crying in his room. Bitch don't you know when you diss your own kid, karma brings back a strand of body hair that you lasered off. He wouldn't of choked if you had helped him memorize something or anything for that matter. She was just snarky the entire time. Being bitter is never an accessory that is in style. No matter if there's a Tiffany bow on it. She really cemented her feelings when I told what I was planning for next year. "That really won't matter because we won't be here next year" snarked Minnie. Keep in mind that the heffa had no problem eating the cream of chicken soup from scratch, turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy that were all cooked by my father.

As for this year, I was glad that I had another year where mom and pop were around to share the holiday. Zach and I had fun by wearing silver bowls on our heads. Hey don't knock it, if you haven't tried it. This will probably be one of the last times we will get to do goofy stuff like that.

Earlier last week, Zach and I went to see Casino Royale. Whoever was in charge of the opening graphics deserves some kind of Oscar for that. Overall I'd give it 2.5 out of 4 stars.

I have to give a shout out to the protesters outside of Macy's on Black Friday. You go people!!! There has been a drop in sales over there. Gee I wonder why.

I'll post back when exams are over for the semester. Egad where has the time gone.

You're Dangerous, 'Cause You're Honest.

2006-11-15T19:12:00.000-07:00

Ever just have one of those days when you're caught off guard? All I wanted to do was meet with the advisor and talk about next semester's classes. This is what happens when you blow off orientation. Nice touch. While I'm in Mr. Tribe's office I asked more question than he could answer. He's new to his job. As one classmate said, "no one wants to see him get fired because he's getting acclimated". Point taken. I mention that I plan to email Dr. Peace about a class sequence. Mr. Tribe says, "Let's go to her office it's just down the hall." It's days like that I wish I didn't have diarrhea of the mouth. Well, today it's down at the other end so hopefully the fun will end soon.

I was just stunned. I was a total deer in headlights. She just intimidated the heck out of me. Then my flood of the mouth still continued. But the more that I talked to her, the less afraid I became. She's totally awesome. I can understand her way on things much better after this chat. The prophecy did come true though. I choked on the first quiz. I cannot afford to fail. It's going to be another late night with Dr. Pepper and Little Debbie to get me through.

The one thing that keeps getting repeated to me whenever I go to see a professor or professional on campus, "I want to help to see you succed." I'm not used to the positive self-esteemness. It's not that other professors weren't positive influences. It's just that it feels like it's been so long that someone was in my corner cheering me on. I like the feeling.

Shopping with Fred is three hour long grudge match. At one point, he totallly flipped out because I was going to crush the paper napkins in the trunk. Unless paper napkins are on the endangered species list at PETA I didn't see what the big woo was about. He ran into some of his buddies and chatted it up. If anyone has a need for olive oil just let me know. Next year, I'm buying him a olive tree to avoid the middleman.

In other news, hi Hollywood I hope you enjoyed reading my blog.

You'll be okay, Follow Your Heart

2006-11-05T14:12:00.000-07:00

Wow, I had forgotten how long it had been since I've updated this blog. So much has been going on that I have no idea where the time goes. No sooner than Fred is on the mend, Ethel falls down the stairs, hits her head and breaks her arm in two places. She refused to be taken to the hospital for a day. The next morning as I'm about to leave for class she decides she wants to the emergency room. I made the mistake of telling to call B.J. for ride since I had to go. On the way to campus, my cell phone goes off. B.J. calls to say he left a message on my voice mail and proceeds to give a 20 minute lecture about how certainly couldn't take our mother to the hospital. He was fit to be tied. After I came back from class, I took Ethel to the emergency room. Before we left I made sure both of us had a book to read, I was not about to become responsible for entertaining her while we had to wait our turn. The er experience was hilarious. The staff totally recognized me from the last time I was there. This time I was totally cool about the whole thing. I was telling them to take their time since I had a book to read. Au contraire. They take Ethel immediately to x-ray where they confirmed what we all had suspected. The entire staff was very attentive to Ethel. It was kinda cute. Thank you Nurse S. for getting us food. It was the best tasting turkey sandwich and apple juice that I 've had ever. Then seven hours later we were finally sprung. With copies of x-rays and after a stop at the late night Jewel to fill a prescription for Vicodin we were headed home. There have been times where their demands are taxing but I'm just taking in stride. Very zen way to be.

Can I just say grad school is totally kicking my ass. I am rising to the challenge and will fight tooth and nail to keep a stellar gpa. I was chatting with a classmate after class. We reminisced about the undergrad days where you took turns with your friends to attend class to take notes and showing up to class with a hangover from the night before. I feel that I'm exactly where I need to be for me. So if I'm not posting as often as I used to, please understand that until finals are over next month. Things might be quiet at my little spot on the interweb.

There's even slight dating news to report. I had a cyberdate last week. It was four hours of fun. Long-distance Louie joked how he was going to be a zombie the next day. I bombed the quiz I had that day. So we're even.

In retail humor, there's a certain cosmetics company that's selling a Christmas nightlight. However if you don't read the fine print, you'll swear you're looking at a Christmas dildo. It's the first thing I thought when I saw the picture. While I'm on the holiday subject I'll give my nickel spin on a bone of contention.

Hey retailers and radio stations,

Christmas is December 25. Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving. When you do the math, it makes no sense to start Christmas ads AND Christmas music playing November 1. I almost left my groceries in the middle of the store and walked out the music was getting on my last nerve. I feel sorry for anyone who has to work in a store where the "holiday station" is on during business hours. While I'm at it, the idea to open stores on Thanksgiving night for a "midnight madness" sales sucks big donkey balls. It's obvious that the marketing and advertising geniuses who came up with this strategy aren't the ones who'll have to work that night. I'm all for getting a good deal don't get me wrong but not at the cost of my sanity. I doubt you'll be getting much customer service from the sales people who were ripped away from their Thanksgiving tables so they can sell you something that will most likely get exchanged the day after. I'd like to see the CEO, CFO, and other grand poohbahs in the retail sector give up their serving of pumpkin pie and work a holiday shift. I doubt they could handle it.

I can't believe Thanksgiving is in three weeks. Bears, I'm sorry for the loss. It'll keep you humble and make you motivated for next week.

Muzak

2006-10-10T13:35:00.000-06:00

So much shit going on. Prioritize. Blah. Blah Blah.

Turn The Lights On

2006-10-08T22:59:00.000-06:00

5 - 0 Bears are on their way.

I didn't have a chance to watch the game today. I was running around doing grocery shopping. Harried Hospital's Home Care rep assumed Fred wouldn't be sent over the weekend. Guess where I was when I got the call yesterday to go get him? Waiting in line at the tile store. This week's Grey's Anatomy episode had great one-liners about caregivers from Dr. Christina Yang (Sandra Oh). I don't know how the Thursday's ratings are shaping but I like the Friday scheduling. GA and then Men In Trees.

I have this bizarre heartburn that won't go away. It won't let me sleep or relax. I've tried every way I could think of short of standing on my head to get this burning/heaviness off of my chest. No, it's not a heart attack. All of the pains are center and veer to the right. Midnight and awake.

I could go into gross detail about the hole in Fred's skin where the bedsore used to be. It's packed with gauze soaked in saline and he won't let me change it. I'm grateful that at least it didn't hit bone.

You Missed The Starting Gun

2006-10-05T08:47:00.000-06:00

If feels like it's been ages since I last posted here. I can't believe it's already October. It's not usually a good month for me since it's an anniversary of several bad past experiences. But I'm willing to keep an open mind about it. Thus far though it's keeping the usual m.o.

No sooner had Fred gotten home than he went back into the hospital. Because of possible legal moves, let's just say it was a result of his prior recent hospital stay. It pissed me off while B.J. was very non-chalant about the whole thing. I always appreciate the long dragged out lectures he gives me but all I keeping thinking is I'm never going to get that time I lost listening to his diatribes back am I?

With some free time and procrastination, I followed the path of others before me. I googled the names of people I knew from my younger days. A girl I knew who cheated her way in high school now is married with 2.5 kids on the North Shore. Did I mention the fact she also has the tony part-time gig downtown? I found out that my best friend from high school has moved from the west coast and now lives in Packer country. The boy who I had my first dance with is alive and well with a woman who makes him happy. The majority of people have moved on with their lives and are official grownups.

I reflected upon this information with some sadness. It seems like everyone except me got the memo on how to get to the rest of their life. Some classmates I don't envy however. They've experienced the death of one of their parents. I'll figure it out one of these days.

A Semi-Charmed Kind Of Life

2006-09-26T20:11:00.000-06:00

Well Fred's out of the hospital and back to his regular schedule of rants. Ethel sent me with the wrong size shoes for him when it was time to be discharged but as you know it's my fault. Out of character,B.J. had time to be driver for Fred. He was so out of it driving. He kept missing streets and adding to the length of the trip. I knew better so for once I kept my mouth shut. Fred was all shits and giggles to B.J. on the ride home. It just kills me how all B.J. has to do is just show up and he's golden while I've knocked myself out with visits. Email from my instructor about my very late paper. Oh yeah I can feel the joy in response to that hot mess.

Fred now has enough doctors to have a posse. Deal with that Sean Combs. The pharmacy really hit the jackpot when I showed up with his list of new meds. I caught up with the latest O mag.

Even with Fred back with us, this is just the start of hard work yet to come. His loss of driving priveledges is going to turn me into a soccer mom for the geriatric set. Not to mention the number of extra office visits I'm adding to my routine. Ethel and I toasted a bon voyage to the silence over toast and sausages this morning.

I'd like to give a special shout out to the doctors, nurses, cnas, dietitians, chaplains, and janitorial staff. These past days just flew by with your help and support.

Just A Touch Of Love

2006-09-19T20:40:00.000-06:00

The power of prayer has been amazing. Fred is still in ICU and oxygen but the ookabillion other tubes and needles are out of him. I'm reading up on about his special installation and he can't lift anything. Tonight I feel so screwed about everything. The increase in caffeine isn't helping matters. I feel like having a good primal scream just to get it out of my system. I thought about pulling it in the hospital parking lot but I didn't want to freak out security.

There's a strong possibility that Fred may return home this weekend. We are so not equipped to handle him. He's still disoriented. Today he didn't follow the conversation. He asked me questions like "Did your dad go to the mall?" My heart just took a nosedive. I stayed on top of the nurses to make sure he was situated before I left for the night. I'll tell you one thing. I'm not doing anymore double day visits. I'm totally spent and still have a paper to crank. I'm so panicked about not getting it done. I cannot drop the ball. I feel alone in the fact that it's up to me to do everything. Oh how I envy the sex and the city types. Life is one pseudo mini drama.

I picked up some interesting information from Cousin Dew and Uncle Bubba. Both of their daughters are going through some sense of entitlement selfishness. Because they are in their twenties they think it's up to daddy to bankroll their rock n roll lifestyle. When did it become a requirement that everything had to be bling bling and there be no consequences? Uncle B. went on to tell how his daughter had anorexia/bulimia because her friends kept telling her she was fat.

It's only Tuesday and I feel it's been longer.

Dear God

2006-09-14T14:40:00.000-06:00

Yesterday at the hospital just sucked big time. Having to see Fred in restraints and on the oxygen mask just knocked the wind right out of me. Every time he said he'd be good he'd just to back to ripping the mask right off of his face. I had a good cry in the waiting room for about a half an hour. Last night when I was cleaning out my purse I still had my tissues in there and they were still damp with tears. My heart just wasn't into doing much of anything. Minnie was no help either. When I asked her for any words of wisdom on how to deal with this she had nothing to say on the subject.WTH kind of logic is that? There were a few moments of comic relief.

Fred spit out the pills the nurses tried to give him. When the nurse asked him if he would behave himself if she took off the restraints, he said "NO!". A for honesty. God bless him. That's my pop.

It was divine providence that BJ called to tell me that Fred was intubated and moving to intensive care unit. My nerves are just fried at the moment. I may go back to smoking during this ordeal. My appetite is shot anyway. I've been turning more and more to my faith. It annoys me that the local church hasn't stopped off one of the priest but maybe the hospital chaplain dropped the ball. It could happen.

I find that going to classes is providing a good diversion for me. It's been a challenge to get back into the rhythm of studying. I feel back for not getting back to certain people because I just don't know what to say. At times I'm afraid I'll just muddle into a weeping Wanda. I think this once a day cry thing is par for the course.

You're The End Of My Rainbow

2006-09-11T22:11:00.000-06:00

This has been such a bizarre day. It was typical in that I ate my bran cereal and had my cup of coffee. I got ahold of Dr. Curious to tell him about Fred's health problems. They were severe enough to get him a sameday visit. In typical Fred fashion, we took the roundabout way to get there. I held my tongue because I knew Fred wasn't feeling well.

Even though it was raining out, I managed to remain calm. During the office visit, Fred changed colors and had problems breathing. The cardiogram was the clincher. He needed to get to the closest er and fast. We couldn't wait for a ambulance so it was Fred and me in a game of beat the clock to get to the hospital. Fred took it in stride. On the outside I was composed but on the inside I was totally freaking out.

I'll say this for Haul Ass Hospital. They are on top of their security. I even had to wear a badge just to hang out in the emergency waiting room. The cnas who came to take them to his room rattled me a bit. One woman was training and Fred was her guinea pig. At one point they were having a disagreement, I just felt like saying, "Bitches step aside and let a real cna show you how it's done."

After we got to the room and he was tucked into bed, it was time for the dreaded call to B.J. He was so non-chalant about everything. In the waiting room I wanted to scream, "He's your father you jackass. Show some fucking concern and quit playing."
You know darn well that Minnie and coven would have flown at break neck speak on their brooms to get to widow Hanna. Argument number two was about going to class. I really didn't want to go. Okay part had to do with the fact that I didn't finish the assignment. But I just felt it was wrong.

When Ethel was in the hospital, she had people visit her around the clock. I didn't like the idea of Fred being by himself. Ethel had the same attitude as B.J. Like mother like son.

I'm just not ready to give Fred up. As sappy as this sounds, I love being daddy's little girl. Granted daddy has his moments of being a pita but so does everyone else. I want to hold on to his stories. He's so getting recorded for posterity along with Ethel.

Somehow I found the strength to crank out what I needed and headed to class. I had the most superb parking karma. By the time I got out of class, visiting hours were over. I was able to listen to the message B.J. left for me. I don't care what he says, I'm still going over to see him tomorrow. I did drive thru for dinner but I didn't enjoy it. Food doesn't hold the say joy for me anymore.

If you read this post, please say a prayer for my dad. Thank you.

Bear Down Chicago Bears

2006-09-10T19:45:00.000-06:00

Final score 26 - 0

The last time the Bears won like this against the Packers was in 1991. It was a beautiful thing to behold. Everyone did their job and worked together as a team. Aside from the hard work, the Big Guy decided the FIBs could use some joy after what happened yesterday.

That's right Easy Readers Marshall Field's green has now become Macy's red. With Carson Pirie Scott hitting the skids, State Street will almost become unrecognizable. It's bad enough that the Palmer House is getting rid of the awnings. I almost went down to the protest but B.J. and Zach stopped by for a unscheduled day long visit. Even with the action in the place, I managed to read 70 pages for class. I have several assignments already due and feel like I'm playing catch up. I missed out on another job because they wanted someone younger. No nevermind to me. It just gives me a better opportunity to find a better gig.

The day before yesterday I had a choice of going to get a prescription filled or going to get my books because time was running out. I keep forgetting not everyone keeps late hours to stay open. At least the campus library keeps normal college hours. That was one of the things that annoyed me about a couple of colleges that I attended is that there libraries would close at 9pm. I can understand a public town library but not a college one.

Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting

2006-09-02T20:53:00.000-06:00

It's at times likes this I wish I could tap into my inner Madea and go to town with a chainsaw on some furniture. If this were the sixties I could call it performance art. The title of piece would be called "Hillbilly schooling Hoochie Mama Goldigger".
I cannot believe the shit that comes out of Minnie's mouth the moment I leave her home after babysitting Zach so she can get plastered with her cronies.

I could devote yet another long post and point out the obvious. But she only gets a this paragraph. I've got news for her. If she shoves coal up her ass it won't come out diamonds, it's still going come out shit. She called me and my extended family a bunch of "white trash hillbillies". Hmmm. Let's do the math and count the diplomas. Here we go. There's 6-MD,4- JD, 4- MBA, 21- BA and 1 AA.I'd say that's not bad for a bunch of hillbillies. These are the same people who have shown nothing but love and respect for Minnie. Go ahead and bar me, Fred and Ethel from this weekend's family event. Uncle OG knows who and what you are along with your loser sidekicks.

It's Gonna Be A Real Wow Wee

2006-08-22T14:58:00.000-06:00

I'm just so on cloud nine right now. Hot diggidity dog! I'm going to graduate school. I'm just stunned speechless. I can't believe how providential this news is right now. God, Jesus, 12 Apostles and the back up singers thank you thank you thank you.

I know the Lord moves in mysterious ways but I had no idea that he moved faster than Federal Express. I just have to praise him all over. There's a bible verse that goes keep on searching and keep on finding. Praise be.

Trouble Due To

2006-08-16T10:50:00.000-06:00

Thank you Bill Gates for the latest update that threw me offline for a the second time in a week. I never had these problems when I had a Mac. Oh my darling Mac, how I miss your ease of use. The way you never forsaken me and always worked for me.

What did I do with me downtime? I did some soulsearching. It's go time with the GRE and writing personal statements. I plan to try to continue volunteering with the organizations and maybe add another.

A Little Out Of Tune And A Little Off Key

2006-08-08T10:42:00.000-06:00

Wow, according to blogger I've hit the sesquicentennial mark on the number of posts. I wish I could say that life has totally changed but in many ways it's stayed the same. So back to a usual modern day post.

Hey Lifetime! What's the big idea with rescheduling Designing Women off the early morning timeslot? I admire Fran Drescher. I really do mean it. After all she's a ovarian cancer survivor like Ethel. It's just that I really don't need further proof that my life resembles Fran Fine in more ways than one. This past weekend was enough of a reality check for me.

Yes, Easy Readers that means Aunt Imogene came by for a visit and read me the riot act again on my spinsterhood. Apparently someone has tipped her off to internet dating and believes that this will solve my singleness. Certain days when I chat with her, I feel like telling her the raw truth about who and what is out there just to freak her out and shut her up but all that will do is sail through the family grapevine and bite me in the ass. At least I was able to say that I had a date last month. She asked me why it didn't work out. Here's where I'd like some input.

Aunt Imogene thinks I need to go back to The Rules tactics of lying about me and my circumstances. Keep in mind that the authors are both divorced and probably the cause of several hundreds divorces. Yes, I know at first meet and greet it's supposed to be all friendly and kinda fakey. But what happens when dateman starts to list his flaws and dealbreakers even before said date. Am I supposed to counter his move or stay silent? It was so obvious that he wasn't into me. Even me, miss-most-likely-not-to-catch-a-dating-signal figured it out really quick. He was polite but he wasn't all that either. If you've only attended one year of college that doesn't make you a college graduate. Ray Charles's mama said it best,"Scratch a liar. Find a thief." Which date number do you show your true self?

Then the conversation turned to me and planning for funerals. Apparently I need to start from now to find a burial plot for one. I asked her if she had her casket all picked out. She described the oak number that was to be her final napsite. I ticked her off when I mentioned the deal that Costco had on caskets.

Say Yes

2006-08-01T06:53:00.000-06:00

I have no idea why this song is in my head but I woke up with it. It'll be the theme of the day. I don't know if I'll ever post this. I'm certainly not doing it for bragging rights.

But this morning something happened that will put wheels in motion for what I don't necessarily know. This morning Fred hit me. I should have seen this coming. For years, his taunts, threats, insults and overall verbal abuse of myself, Ethel, and B.J. are just something that I've always put up with. He knew how to hit without leaving a bruise or else I would have dialed 911 to have his ass arrested. Screw this. I've always been of one mind that if I were ever hit once an action plan would be put into place.

No longer will I put myself on hold for my family. I will pray that God will give me strength to make the right decisions. I will break the cycle. I have no idea what the FUCK I was thinking for hanging on to things. Common sense needs to kick in and fast. Game over.

Let's Have Another Cup Of Coffee

2006-07-28T18:58:00.000-06:00

Since I had some time to kill before I left, I decided to give myself a manicure. That was a big mistake.Every move I made after that caused me to smear about a third of my nails. It figures.

On the upside, I arrived on time. I was pleasantly surprised by coffee man. We talked so long that we forgot to go out for lunch. He is a good guy. I had a great time.How cool is that? As for next week, we'll shall see what happens.

I was making Fred laugh so hard this afternoon he asked me why I never went into acting. Set me to stun. So I said if I were to take classes at Second City, he wouldn't object. He offered to pay for it. Wow, it's amazing what can happen when Mercury is out of retrograde.

Public Service Announcement

2006-07-27T20:59:00.000-06:00

This is to let my Easy Readers know that I have a coffee date tomorrow at a Starbucks. If all goes well I shall give a brief recap. Hopefully, I'll get there ontime and so will he. If I don't post anything tomorrow, someone please contact the local authorities.

I'm taking the Nestea plunge and applying to graduate school.

Ticking Away From Me

2006-07-23T19:09:00.000-06:00

Today was spent with the curtains drawn and lights off. Halt the do-me music and have total silence. It was the day of the migraine. The last thing I wanted to see was people of any kind. I was grateful for the sound of silence and the temporary disappearance of screaming shorties in the distance. This schedule I've been on cannot be good. It's now after 8pm and I'm finally at a comfortable level of functioning.

Can someone tell Mother Nature to knock it off? My attempt to go to the Southport Festival was blocked by that sudden rain burst. Then two weeks ago it was another outdoor social event. I'm trying to step out of my comfort zone here. What's the big idea?

Grad school discussions came on the table. I don't know what to do. I have no clue why I was so attached to the first college and now what was originally the first college is now number two. Hell, an educational investment should come with some guarantees. One that includes job security, happiness, and a place to live. If the city can come up with a living wage policy then add to it a comfortable lifestyle.

I'm boycotting The Chicago Tribune and that includes the Cubs. Today's cover story of in The Chicago Magazine is absolutely offensive. It's a smack in the face to every single immigrant who came here legally. Funny how the illegal high school girls had no problem being photographed for the story but don't want their last names in print. It won't take much detective work for anyone to figure out who they are. It's not enough that she got a free public education and medical care but she expects a free ride to college because she and her mother broke the law. Who are you kidding? What gave you the right to be so arrogant and cocky? I'm more disgusted than ever at the sense of entitlement. Here's a thought get a job and pay for college. People do it everyday. You never had to work an outside job during high school and expect some fairy benefactors to kiss your illegal ass. Chicago Tribune's job is supposed to report stories in an objective fashion. This feature story certainly shows where their loyalties lie. If I were a advertiser, I'd pull ads. Let's see how many papers they'll sell when they oops don't have revenue coming in.

Now Just Stand

2006-07-21T11:28:00.000-06:00

Welcome to my anxiety attack. Have a seat. Apparently as a grown-up now when I procrastinate my body goes into guilt mode which leads to me wanting to sleep. I've been avoiding doing this and I can't figure out where the fear factor is coming from. Il destino even has people literally calling me about this and part of me just doesn't want to deal. My anxiety was so bad that I even asked Minnie to help me on this piece. Oh, how low did I go? smh.

I've tried the let's-do-everything-else-but-what-you're-supposed-to approach and that's just annoying. The sea monkey is just getting bigger and bigger. In my mind it's B-movie sci-fi proportions. I have to do it today because my evening is otherwise occupied. I've been trying to make all sorts of excuses to avoid exercising. I sabotaged myself by eating some cookies. This fear of success stuff is kinda scary. I'm sure someone somewhere thinks it's stupid but if you're reading this then have a glass of STFU 'cause it's my blog. Go get your own.

Where did the summer go? I just feel blah kinda stuck. My feet are in cement and my hands are flailing around. Wasted energy is not a good thing. This morning was a prime example. Fred had a temper tantrum over the case of the missing corn. He was accusing everyone under the sun of taking it. I mini-napped through most of the verbal assault against me. I still hadn't had my cup of courage yet. When he started raging on Ethel who had looked through the frig with not a ear found I decided to investigate. The corn was in the frig on the first shelf behind a large container of leftover pasta. Mystery solved. Fred couldn't let it go. He went on and on about the injustice. Oh the humanity. It's days like today when it's going to be extra special. I had to hang out while Ethel showered just in case she has a fall or something. Fred comes in after he had puttered outside and starts screaming at me about what a lazy ass I am. I know I'm supposed to be the bigger person and be all patient but doncha know my give-a-damn was missing at that moment. His manic phases are really going on for longer stretches than usual. It's really sad that it happens. But it further frustrates me because he and his doctor refuse to do anything about it.

I totally want to go off on B.J. when he tells me to stay out of their bickering. I want to say, "Hey idiot, I know the difference between when they're having a disagreement and when Fred is having a manic episode. Can you say the same thing jackass?" I don't think so.

The current debate for me is to whether apply now for grad school or wait a year. I'd be more than happy to start now but I need a paying gig to do it. Frankly one with tuition remission. I know I'm being redundant but still I keep praying.

Good grief it's lunchtime and really should get something done. Can we add an extra 12 hours to the day please? Thank you.

Hyperactive in my brain

2006-07-18T23:36:00.000-06:00

Jeez I should not have had those extra doses of caffeine. I'm so wired for sound right now. I hadn't planned on posting but I felt I'd be too jittery to put pen to paper. This weather is doing nothing for my waistline. I'm constantly having to rehydrate myself. If I feel like living dangerously, I drink tap water. I wish I could have some iced tea. Yes I know that would mean more caffeine but the sweetness would be a nice change from this blechy feeling.

I went to check out a future place of higher learning to spend money. The problem is I need a job first to pay for it. I loved the program until I did the math per credit hour. Jeez I just keep waffling with whether it's worth it to enter one of the world's second or third oldest professions.

It really ticks me off that B.J. expects me to settle for less than the best. Excuse me, I have parents and don't need your half assed advice on this. I know you're smarter than me on alot of things but when it comes to my life just back off dude! Take the glass out of your house before you enter my domicile.

In other news from my comfort zone, I wrote a piece for a worthwhile cause. Tonight I did the math. It's been over 16 years since I've published anything. I don't count papers for college because that's a totally different breed of bullshit. I actually toyed with the idea of going into public relations but in a way I've always done it over the years. I don't want to pollute the nation's ears with yet another way to build a better mousetrap. It's a real shame that papers have sold out to corporations. There are some days where I find inaccuracies and flaws in their stories. I don't know if it's professional envy that somehow the people with bylines were able to succeed in a field that has been previously closed to me.

You, Me, and DuPree is a great movie. It's a wonderful combination of thinking and funny. Matt Dillon has certainly made a few movies lately. Owen Wilson does a fantastic job of delivering a inspiring speech on Career Day. The only thing I would have changed is the ending. I won't say how it turns out but it could have sent a better message about self-esteem than it did. My change in the screenplay would have been for a better message to have been stated about education. One thing B.J. and I agree upon is that Uncle OG certainly has alot similarities to Michael Douglas's character.

Before I go to sleep this is for the East Coast Easy Reader. I can't believe you spent your lunch hour reading my blog. Was it a slow news day for you? I'm curious.

Day After Day I'm More Confused

2006-07-10T21:40:00.000-06:00

Oh yeah, yours truly has been busy. If it's not a trip to a doctor,it was for B.J. or something else. For example, B.J. and I help put Johnny Depp's daughter through college by going to see Pirates of the Caribbean on opening day. If you want a movie to succeed, it's crucial that you see it the first weekend that it's out or else it can move to DVDland very quickly. Word on the street is that Robert Redford is eyeing some West Side property for a moviehouse to show films that were at Sundance. Here's a thought. Why not help and preserve The MusicBox, a Chicago institution known for showing non-mainstream films.

DP added to the lowering of the sense of entitlement generation IQ recently. During a conversation the recent passing of Kenneth Lay was brought up, she drew a total blank. No clue whatsoever. "Like who's that?" OMFG! You brag about how you work in Corporate America and have all of its' trappings. In reality they were brought to you by your parents and Minnie helps you do your homework. Do yourself a favor and don't tell anyone you work in business. I have no clue how B.J and Minnie were able to keep a straight face throughout the conversation.

B.J. and I have had some deep conversations as of late. He's been trying to convince to get a job in the coven state. According to him any job is a paycheck.I thought about it and then I got my sign. I was in My Sister's Closet and found art supplies at a great price. They almost rarely carry them. Thank you Lord I needed that. It confirmed that there's no way I'm turning away from my goals. I made that mistake once before and won't be fooled again.

It was great we drove around the city to see the sites. He said,"You could tell who doesn't have to work tomorrow". I appreciated the drive though. I was surprised that certain businesses didn't make it but I was thrilled at others that are still around. B.J. didn't want to head into The Green Mill because he thought the neighborhood was too seedy. Puhhhlease. Yeah like the Mag Mile doesn't have it's share of whackjobs in the form of tourists. I don't care what he says, I still love me some Green Mill.

I did hit kind of a slump of sorts. I find out tonight that some guy I graduated from high school with is now a national sales manager. Yet I'm still here. Oh sure this guy was a total weasel back then. This makes total fucking sense. Swell some idiot still hasn't used up his fireworks. Good grief.

I've tried to decompress from what's been going on around me but to no avail. This week will be just as full of commitments. Such is life I guess. Wow this Dr. Pepper has really given me the oomph I needed. I so have to crank on some stuff this week. Is it really only Monday?

God Bless America

2006-07-04T11:45:00.000-06:00

Happy 4th of July my Easy Readers!!!

I'm working on a cross-stitch sampler with a Americana theme. I had hoped to have it finished by today but it didn't happen. I will post the finished product as soon as it's finished.

Chicago is one of the rare places in the country where we celebrate with fireworks on July 3rd and July 4th. It cracked me up when local news would list the dates and times for suburban fireworks if you weren't brave enough to battle the crowds downtown to cop a squat in Grant Park. What time is dusk anyway? Just list a time. Dusk can mean different time times to different people. Last night I had a great time. I went to a suburban party and we were close enough to take advantage of the local fireworks display nearby. This is totally the way to do it. I met some new people. I picked up on what other towns were doing today.

Apparently, the town of Wheeling has quite a supply of cash set aside for their 4th's festivities. This year's special guest is Davey Jones of the Monkees. B.J. and I love The Monkees music. I still say they should be included in the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame as an exhibit. I base this on the fact that if Ricky Nelson can be included they should be recognized as well. Don Kirschner was the musical producer. Neil Diamond wrote some of their songs. Their following was a American TV execs response to The Beatles.

It sucks that the mall is open today. Anyone who goes to the mall today should be ashamed of themselves. These people have families and other places they'd rather be instead of selling you something that you don't need or want. Our forefathers didn't not fight on battlefields so mega corporations could be open today. It's a total disrespect about what this holiday is all about. While I'm on the subject of disrespect.

Gov. B. and your media planner,

Your local tv commercials are doing nothing to help your cause for reelection. They're annoying and working my last nerve. We've all caught the big clue that you don't like Judy Baar Topinka. That's not a big secret. You think that if you point out obvious mistakes of her that will help you. Dude it's totally backfiring. Here's why. The person who did the voice overs sounds whiny and stupid. If you're plan is to tick off your constituents so they'll vote for her, continue with these ads. Do us all a favor and hire someone else. Focus on the issues. Quit doing things for the easy photo-op and do the job you were elected to do. While you're at it, keep your promises. That will go far more than the waste of airspace.

Oh Baby So Tired

2006-07-01T11:50:00.000-06:00

Blah. It's a noun, verb, and a adjective for today. I'm off my regular routine. I'm cranky because the things I wanted to do I can't. My moxie has decided to go underground. With alot of places being closed on Monday for the big holiday, it seems pointless to bust my ass today. Most people are out of town or on their way to somewhere else to escape the oppressive humidity. It was just awful yesterday. I spent most it mobile in the car.

To the big assholes who decided to shoot off fireworks last night. I hope you have to look after children someday when someone else decides to recreate the Taste of Chicago Fireworks extravanganza in your neighborhood. Do you have any idea how many amateurs idiots and small children will end up in America's emergency rooms? Leave it to people who earn a paycheck to do this type of work. It's always funny until someone gets hurt. At least I'm smart enough to stay away from the grocery stores.

This is so cool. I finally figured out how to fix some things. It's always good when I can learn something new. I'm biting the bullet and looking for gigs in the retail sector. It's not what I'd like to be doing but lack of health insurance scares me. When I'm afraid to try a new yoga pose all I keep thinking is how much a trip to the emergency room would cost me. I know feel the fear but do it anyway. There are several poses I'm modifying until my body decides to shrinkydink.

I Thought You Should Know

2006-06-28T19:21:00.000-06:00

It's been awhile since I've updated. Well it felt that way to me. I've done yoga three days in a row. I didn't add cardio today because I have a tendency to hyperfocus whenever I start a new project. I'd like this new routine to stick around for more than a month. I heard that microtears add up if you're not careful. Yeah, that's the last thing I need to have go south.

Local news reported that Star Jones is officially gone from "The View". Her contract wasn't renewed by ABC and was expected to finish the end of her current contract. Frankly, it was inevitable. It makes sense she was disrespected by ABC powers that be. She lost her status on the panel because she was no longer fat AND single.
OMG how dare she alienate a portion of "The View" demographic.(sic)It sucks to be her right now. But I'm a firm believer for every door that closes God opens another. I couldn't imagine what it must be like to put on a straight face every morning with people who knew you got the shaft before you did. As well,she looked out for herself in a business that's well known for chewing you up and spitting you out in under a minute.

I hope she goes the way of Lisa Ling instead of Debbie Matenopoulos. Jones' law degree and her past accomplishments will carry her far. I've never really been an active watcher of "The View" because it felt like a mini-version of Cosmopolitan and Good Housekeeping. Catering to the lowest denominator might bring in ratings but it insults intelligent women who are more than what some suits assume they are. I would love a tv program that was a spinoff of Bust or Bitch. TV programming is sorely lacking in intelligence. I'm not saying that there isn't a time or a place for things like South Park but not 24/7. There's a reason why people of my generation and older were able to relate to certain tv viewing moments before the vcr and tivo. It was only on at a certain time of the week and if you missed it, too bad.

Although I do love that there are boxed sets of tv programs. There are many programs on my wish list. Sony get your butts in gear. Just go ahead and pay Linda Bloodworth what she's worth and get Designing Women in a boxed set.

Dear Shonda Rhimes, Please get season two out on dvd as soon as possible. I know airing it on Thursdays wasn't your idea but give me something to go on for the summer and beyond. Most Thursday nights will be spent in a classroom.

In other news, B.J. and I are getting along rather well. We had a long talk over the weekend. Apparently, the relatives near and far are chiming in about the relocation. It would have been so easy to get on the guilt bus with everyone else. I guess the daily spiritual readings are paying off. It's not like he's running away from something. He's going to somewhere better for himself and his family. In the end that's all that matters.

Laundry is such a pita when it takes up the entire day. Good grief where did the month go.

Let's Get Physical

2006-06-23T19:48:00.000-06:00

First off, get your mind out of the gutter. No, I did not get lucky with some random guy. Instead this morning I did yoga. Then after dinner I did some aerobics. I know I'm just as stunned as you are at the magnitude of the events. I was lucky to pick up a yoga tape that was body gentle to larger people. Some of the mistake purchases of other yoga tapes are much more advanced and for the limber. But they're labeled for beginners. Putting that kind of label on a exercise tape is just wrong. Instead of beginner there should be an additional label of whether the person about to attempt this has been active or inactive. It's not enough for there to be a disclaimer that the production company and the performers are absolved of litigation in case you hurt yourself. I liked this yoga tape because I was able to get through the entire tape without my body thinking, "what the heck are you thinking doing this to us?" Nah that response was when I reentered the world of cardio vascular aerobics.

In case you're wondering I had purchased "The Firm" series three years ago. When they advertise that you'll change your shape after 8 workouts, they're not kidding. I was only able to keep up for 25 minutes. The sweat was pouring down my face like a waterfall. I loved that they had a very modified alternative for beginners. In addition, they highly reccommend that you NOT use weights if it's your first time following the program. I was very impressed by the strength of the plastic steps. There's a part of the workout where you have to literally sit on the edge of steps for certain exercises. I couldn't believe it held my weight. I thought for sure my body weight would cause the steps to crack and for me to land straight on my ass shaking the foundation of the building or at least pissing off my neighbor.

I just felt it was time to finally do something. It also helped that I had cleared enough clutter that there was space enough for me to move. Even though I didn't get endorphins, I'm hoping for a energy boost. These four o'clock urges to nap has gotten on my nerves. It's not a new thing. For years, at that time of the day,my body is like, "hey I don't care, you need to stop and nap." Of course I didn't have the opportunity to that when I was working out in the world. To compensate my lethargicness, it would be s chocolate bar or a pop to the rescue. My body has had enough corn syrup to last until the end of time.

Another thing, that made me giggle was a story told by Fred. B.J. told him that Lynnie and Grandma Hanna were quite verbal in front of Zach. He told them,"Stop it. You're too loud." Well, I wonder what Minnie will say to that bit of news. Loudmouths run in her family too. The subject of the fight was that Lynnie was hitting up Hanna for some cash. Hanna told her no way.

What's Your Price For Flight?

2006-06-21T07:46:00.000-06:00

Last night freaked me out. I could not go to sleep. I had pains in the center of my chest. If I had the tingly left arm, I knew I was screwed big time. Every time I tried to lay down to go to sleep it felt like a heavy weight was pressing down on me. I tried to remember everything I ate that day. There was no excessive lifting on my part.

Then I remembered that scene from "You Can't Take It With You".In the twenties and thirties, it was very popular cure to drink a bi-carbonate of soda. There were even flavors too. I went to the fridge and followed the instructions. I swear if that didn't work I was all set to let my fingers do the walking. I was afraid of even getting up because I thought that I'd kiss the floor from passing out. All that kept racing through my mind was that without health insurance I'd owe my soul to the hospital. Their outrages prices really aren't their fault. Insurance companies have butted their opinions where they have no right being. Unless the insurance powers that be have gone to medical school, then they need to have a big glass of shut the hell up.

Job searching has been a pain the ass. I'm either underqualified for the jobs I want or there's a must be bilingual in Spanish attached to the job description. Oh well gotta roll with the changes. I finally finished "Devil in the White City". Wow, what a great read! Historical books have always been a passion of mine. Let's face it. I'm a bibliophile.

Words Can Bring Me Down

2006-06-20T07:19:00.000-06:00

Yeah I feel like shit. I'm still trying to shake off the rejection of the dream job of the moment. I took it really bad. Two of hours of my day were spent crying. It was the kind of crying that involved my nose. At one point my sinuses just closed up out of sympathy. It helped to slam a couple of door and get angry at the way it ended. You know it would have been better if I had gotten the call on Friday as opposed to Monday. It through my schedule completely off base. It was vanilla ice cream and peanut butter cookies to the rescue.

And in true Monday quarterback fashion Ethel uttered the words that have peppered my memory whenever I experience failure. "I knew you weren't going to get it. I had a dream the night before your interview about it." Goddamn. I can only imagine what it's like to a have a mom be in your corner. She's always been like this when I wanted something for myself that threatened her little world. Screw that. I don't care if I have to carry both of them all over campus. I'm getting myself into graduate school. I'll just have to raise the money another way. I know she said that they'll keep it on file bah ta dah and bah ta dah It's tough to believe in the good of God's work when things don't go your way. In short it sucked to be me big time.

The hardest part of yesterday was dragging myself into the bathroom to get myself ready for the evening events. The last place I wanted to be was somewhere where people were talking about their accomplishments. It was tough but I got through it. I was so drained when I got home. At least I was able to sleep through the night somewhat. I couldn't get ahold of anyone to vent but it's better that way. There's no need to rain on anyone else's parade.Hopefully, I can shake the shit off and be more productive and focused toward other goals.

Hi Ho Hi Ho

2006-06-17T10:13:00.000-06:00

Wow what a difference a week makes. I'll start on the weekend and move forward. I never made to the alumni function because I was prepping for the big interview across state lines. Yes there's the potential of yours truly being a bi-state kind of a spinster. I did a trial run of the drive on Monday. I was fifteen minutes late. It served as a good life lesson for me to get myself out the door on time. The drive time was not that bad. It's about the same amount of time I would spend on the El to get to downtown for a gig. The tolls though are quite a bite to the laundry quarters. I was relieved to hear a jazz station of 88.9 which seranaded me on most of my journey. On a whim I stopped by to get information at a local college for classes.

The customer service of the staff simply blew me away. The campus was absolutely goregeous. The houses that surrounded it I'd put on the same level as a Winnetka or a Kenilworth. Holy Cow!!! I really feel it would be a good fit for me. Unlike the first time that I left for college, this time around I'm moving toward something bigger than myself. I met several people who were very pleasant and took time out of their day to give me advice. I was very blessed to have had this opportunity. Janis Joplin said,"Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got." This is a realization that came into play this week in several ways.

First B.J. announces to our parents that he and his family are leaving the state and heading to the coast of the coven. Ethel chose to share this information with me on the morning of my interview. I burst into tears and cried for a half an hour before I got ready to leave. Just gotta love the way Ethel serves it out to me don't you?
I countered that by saying my morning prayers and daily Bible reading. I'm trying to develop that into more of a rountine and for the most part I have been consistent. It's given me a sense of calm that had been so previously lacking in my life. I was blessed to go out to the car and have the good luck of a bird on my car. I was dressed and out of the door on time. In fact I was a half hour early and had time to put gas into the car. I pray gas prices drop for my sake if I get this job. The interview went well. I wasn't used to being under the gun like that but my voice didn't quaver which I was thankful for. I pray that the former bosses come to their senses and give me the proper reference that I deserve. I will not hesitate to consult a lawyer. This baloney has gone on far enough. I really want this job. I am more than qualified for this position. Considering all of the garbage I've had to deal with in the past four years, I'm so due for some good things. Their decision is supposed to be revealed early this coming week. Please pray to the God of your choice that I get this job. Easy readers help me out here. Don't think that I rested on my laurels either. I cranked out so many thank you notes on the same day that it just drained me.

As for B.J.'s relocation, he hasn't talked to me about it. In my heart I wish him well. However, there's part of me that's resentful. It was a year ago that he and Minnie promised ,yes some could consider it an oral agreement, that they would take care of Fred and Ethel so that I could move on with my life. Minnie being Minnie most likely never had ANY intentions of staying Chicago. Her performance is not Academy Award winning material but more of a Razzie of the worst kind. She's a manipulative, compulsive lying, coniving, contradicting, two-faced, _fill-in- your- favorite-expletive. I predict a divorce within a year or when Zach graduates from college. Either way my heart just sobs at the thought of that little boy and the rough road he must travel by himself as a only child. He's such a sweet spirit. It's wishful thinking that I hope he's able to keep it.

This week also brought reconnection of an old friend who had been on my mind. I knew something was wrong and was frustrated that she wasn't returning any of my calls. Unfortunately I was right. She was "laid off". No she didn't deserve it. I can't say anymore about her situation due to legal issues. However I can say this since she no longer works for them. My little nicknames were as follows: _name-of-company_ for morons, _name-of-company_ we don't work so you have to, and the ever favorite,_name-of-company_ we pass the buck till it becomes someone else's penny problem. Overall you were wrong to let her go and not fire the original offender of the problem. I'd disclose that name too but I'll just refer to the persons as Needs to Eat and Needs an Enema.

Shine the light

2006-06-10T21:05:00.000-06:00

Well, well, the truth is told. It was another war of the words with B.J. and Minnie. She's pissed off because we went to the movies. Keep in mind she met with everyone else to go to the Old Town Art Fair and did bother to invite me. She shouldn't yell at B.J. just because he wants to compensate for her snubbing me. Yes, keel over and faint I'm defending B.J. Part of me wants to tell her to shove her offer somewhere of doing mock interviews with me but I need the practice.

Yes Easy Readers, yours truly has a job interview coming up. When the call came in I was driving and freaked out trying to find a place to pull over. I finally found a parking lot and returned the call. The initial salary offer was low and after I went to salary.com I got mad. According to their estimations, I was low-balled big time. But as in any situation I'm going in with a open mind. The call was quite providential. I was on my way to register for a summer school cours when my cell phone started ringing while en route. I could find anywhere to stop until I reached a parking lot to call them back. Oh well there's always next semester.

The movie in question was "The Omen". I know, how did scairdy cat me end up in a gives-you-nightmares kind of film? I'd like to give a shout out to the girl in the row behind me who screamed during the gory scenes. Not only did it add to the scariness in the cinema experience, it also helped to know when to cover my eyes for it. I'm no fool. However I did appreciate the closeup shots of the ceilings. Wow, I had no idea that the Colusseum had taken such a beating from the pollution in Italy. It's really rather sad. I hope to get there someday before it bites the dust. I would have rather seen "A Prairie Home Companion". I'm a total NPR nut. I love that Guy Noir is played by Kevin Kline. He's such a versatile actor. He did such a fantastic job in "DeLovely" with Ashley Judd.

Tell Me What's Your Zodiac Sign?

2006-06-07T21:35:00.000-06:00

Two in a row. I am indeed blessed by the best!

It's always great to see Uncle Nick and Aunt Nora when they come to town. They bring such good vibes with them. Everyone is one their best behavior. Not any of the usual underlying subtle digs. I really wished Zach could have come out but he's still contagious from the latest TinyTot virus.

In honor of the occassion,Fred made sure we picked up dessert because after all there are no decent bakeries in the sub terranean suburbs where the family event was staged for this evening. We were short a third of the usual number. Some people had work schedule conflict. Then there's Aunt Imogene who just doesn't want to deal at all so she stopped by earlier in the afternoon. It wasn't that much of a shock when her kids were no shows. Their loss.

I could go on and gush on how well everything went. For once my nails and toenails were painted for a family event. Having the extended family behave like decent human beings was the best gift I could ever had gotten. Somehow I felt that Aunt Violet and Grandma StarlaAnn were looking over us. The moon was out early tonight. The drive home was better than the drive there. Even though I didn't make a wish yet I'm sure I'll use it when the time is right.

Being Good Isn't Always Easy

2006-06-01T19:30:00.000-06:00

Unbeknownst to me Fred had what is now known as a hypoglycemic attack at 4am. In diabetese, it means your sugar level is too low. Think of the beauty parlor scene in "Steel Magnolias" when Shelby has one while Truvy is doing her hair on her wedding day. He said he didn't want to wake me up. God bless him. He won't bother me for this but has no problem knocking on the door to quiz me about what was on the Hit Parade in the Motherland back in 1952. Luckily we were able to get an appointment. There I had my piece of humble pie served to me by the doctor.

Ethel and Fred had their own turns in the hot seat. At one point it felt like I was tag teaming patients. While I was settling one in the waiting room, I had to get another in to one of the other rooms. There's new technology out now to help them with their sleep apnea. No more face masks. Woo hoo! The latest models are the type where the oxygen can go up your nose and not with the rubber hose.(A piece of Welcome Back Kotter humor for ya)Sometimes modern medicine amazes me.

Where Do We Go From Here?

2006-05-30T20:17:00.000-06:00

With the way the rain was pounding down tonight I was expecting to see a unicorn with a sign saying "Noah's Ark or Bust". The weather worked to my advantage. But that's one of the few things that went well.

Dear Medicare Drug Plan,

WTF is the deal with your start date? I told the pharmacy to hook me up with enough for Ethel so she could slide into the transition. Joe TechHead actually had to look at his freakin' cell phone to figure out that he did the math wrong. Before your genius drug plan, we used to be able to catch a freebie of one or two pills. No we were not mooches unlike some others I could easily mention. But now everything has to be ubermeticulous. I'm surprised I didn't have to drag Fred from his sickbed to pick his medicine.

Yeah, Fred having the flu and Ethel having a magic number of 130 have been keeping me hopping. When I have to make appointments like this, I wonder again wth will happen when I reenter the work force. It's not a question of how but now just a matter of time. There's a huge possibility that the summer school class is out because I just checked my calendar for appointments.

From what I remember, instructors are usually very strict as to the amount of class that you can miss. I understand it's to keep order, etc.. but here's the thing. If my ass is paying for my seat, regardless of whether I show up or not I shouldn't be penalized if I can do the work. I don't know I'm just really confused as to what my options are at this point. Just when I think I'm in the clear, it's as if someone says, "Oh, you thought you were getting a mulligan. No I don't think so."

Minnie was all a twitter because her idol Jennifer Aniston was in town. No doubt one of her buddies was out on Southport screaming at the actress.With the right amount of slapstick perhaps the film will generate some cash. But the premise of the film has been done before. All you have to do is step in the way back machine and go to a film called,"War Of The Roses". Most likely Ebert and Roeper will give it a glowing review since Vaughn is of a Lake Forest address. Although not a true Chicagoan since he's originally from Minnesota but I digress. Everyone came from somewhere. Vinnie looked kinda hungover on the newsclips. Aniston wearing sunglasses in the private skybox where there was no sun was another possible tipoff of too much hooch.

It irked me the way the Governor just slapped sugar all over the place. Oh gag me. It's not like we don't have enough problems in this state. Hanging out at The Musicbox should not be on your list of priorities. I'd like to know how much of the taxpayer dollars were spent on this movie debut. I cringe to do the math myself.

Before The Sun Rises

2006-05-22T20:40:00.000-06:00

I was up at 3:30am. Why, for no reason of course! Because of my spidey senses I thought someone died or worse. But according to all sources all is well. This is a nice change from the usual crap that's heaped on my plate. I was productive though. I read Resume for Dummies. After two hours I was able to doze off until I heard Fred's booming voice wake me up.

So far so good in getting organized and questions were answered on some items. I enjoy the fact that there are no prerequisites to a class I may take this summer if potential paycheck job doesn't come through. Appointments were made and attended to on time. Meetings schedules and attended properly. Some of my ideas went over well. Some other hit the skids. My challenge is trying to keep pace with my brain. I have all of these ideas coming out and sometimes the delivery just doesn't work. I was apologizing all over the place for no reason. In time I'll learn my place and be more comfortable in my skin.

Who's The Cat Who Won't Cop Out

2006-05-21T09:46:00.000-06:00

To 8am neighbor,

WITW were you thinking to mow the lawn this early? Thankfully, I was up before the noise from your obnoxious motor hit the skies. You do as you wish but someone somewhere is having one heck of a time with a hangover with your mower as the refrain from a night filled with spirits.

No it's not me. I spent my time cross-stitching a new project and watching Shaft. Yes, as in Issac Hayes and seventies guitar music. I wonder if this film linked in the blackploitation genre? I liked it. It was really impressive that the sex scene was alluded to by using graphics and music as opposed to the show me now attitude of today. Don't get me wrong there's a time and a place for porn-friendly cinema if that's your bag. However, in certain films it's not necessary and ruins the tone of the original author's intent. How many books have you read where the author's writes in parathesis cue the boom chicka wah wah music for effect?

Out of the box for me is I began my day with morning prayers.Today's Psalm reminded me not judge things as you seem them to be without investigation. Real life happens to everyone and keeps people from keeping in touch. I've been just as guilty as the next person. It just stinks when the timing is off. FWIW I wish my friend well in her new dating relationship. Probably time for me to make room for one of my own.

Got A Ticket For My Destination

2006-05-19T21:59:00.000-06:00

Wowie easy readers! The resumes and cover letters are going to their respective places as we speak. Laundry has been done. For the past two days, I've felt drained and couldn't figure out why. Part of me felt bad because I tried to reach out to certain people and they couldn't be there for me. It's okay. They have their own lives to lead and I wish them well.

Coffee was my major food group. I still feel tired anyway.

Let It Shine

2006-05-18T14:13:00.000-06:00

Yippee!!! I've got to praise HIM. Ethel can have a reverse colostomy. It means no more bags, no more paste, and bowel movements like the human race. In honor of this happy news we went to a garden center to get our dose of flowers. Wow it's like Mother Nature just dropped a whole bunch of beauty in the middle of urban sprawl. Ethel is totally in her element.

The natives are friendly. It was great to watch to random strangers commiserate about what to plant as a border around their respective homes. I was surprised to see the number of flowers that were in a section marked sold and waiting for pickup.
I saw some gorgeous trees that I would have loved to have taken with me. It's a times like these that I wish I had a SUV. But I'm happy with the newest addition to my plant family. It's an early birthday gift from Ethel. Yes a magic number is coming up for me. For some reason I don't have the gloom and doom that usually comes with aging. Most likely I will be spending my day volunteering somewhere. It's a great way to celebrate life and be private about it.

When did Wednesday night TV begin to suck so bad? Or has this always been the case?
Here's a ironic moment. While I was watching Kinsey, I was attaching chapter tabs to my Bible.

Smile On Your Brother

2006-05-15T11:07:00.000-06:00

Easy readers I'm asking that you pray hard for B.J and Zach. Something is going very awry that I can't go into detail as to why because I know that one of the members of the coven has in fact been reading this blog.

I'd say hi but unlike you and the rest of your poser family I wasn't trained on how to give out empty and shallow compliments and mean it with the sincerity of a saint. Be aware the wagons are in a circle. I may not have the monetary resources or the proper connections as all of you do. But I do have the power of a righteous God. No one thought David could beat Goliath either and we all know how that story turned out. So put that in your cauldron and brew it up bitch!!!

These Three Words

2006-05-14T09:45:00.000-06:00

Happy Mother's Day!!!

I was all set to take Ethel to church complete with corsage. She didn't feel well. B.J. said the flu bug is going around and Zach has it bad. We had plans to make a card for Ethel that went down the toity. I picked Hallmarks for Fred and myself to give to her.

Today's title comes from a song by Stevie Wonder. Courtesy of WGCI and Effie Rolfe. The first time I heard it I weeped hard. It was then I knew this song would be played at my reception someday. It serves as a reminder to say it often to those you love because sometimes we do take others for granted. Admit it, we've all done it.

This afternoon's matinee was "The Poseidon". Yes I know I blasted it but B.J. wanted to go see it. Streets of Woodfield Theaters are the bomb diggity. Comfy seats and still has the new fresh smell. The best part about this movie was it was kiddie free. Finally! Althought the script was tweaked, it wasn't that bad. I'd rather see Josh Lucas than Shelly Winters swimming any day. I understand now why B.J. wanted to see it on the big screen. A film like this can only be appreciated on a IMAX size screen. If someone sees this on a Plasma TV or a smaller set, the director's perspective is lost.

After B.J. left, I gave Ethel her cards. She was unimpressed to say the least. "I don't see what the big deal is, all you did was sign your name." Okayyyyy. Yeah that's my mom. It hurt my feelings. I didn't lash out as so much was disappointed in her reaction. Not that I was expecting a parade but just a simple thank you. Someone better than I has said the following. You can't change people's reactions, only your reactions to people. That's what I intend to do. Even Fred pointed out how mean she was to me. Her false attempt at apology hurt more than the initial dig. It's such a Minnie move. Oh well.

Don't Hang Up

2006-05-12T09:08:00.000-06:00

The weather was rainy, gray, and gloomy. I loved it. It does sound very Addams Family. But before the driving fun could begin Ethel decides to share with me the sex life information of certain relatives. All I wanted to do afterwards was stick my fingers in my ears and scream "la la la la I can't hear you". It just creeped me out. Don't ask don't tell is my motto for that kind of stuff.

I had a great session. KT confirmed that my plans were valid and my collections were okay. I can even put up the new clock in the kitchen. I feel I'm in a good place at the moment. Things are finally looking up.

I'm so grateful to God for all of his blessings that he's bestowed upon me. Ethel and I will be attending the local parish this Sunday. I stepped out of my comfort zone and did some things that were good for me.

North, East, West, South, Living In The Same House

2006-05-09T14:19:00.000-06:00

Is anyone else having as much fun as I am choosing a Medicare Prescription Drug Plan for their parents? Due to each thinking the other sibling had it taken care of, I drew the short stick. OMG who did Medicare pick to determine which pharmacies are within your radius? Even Mapquest couldn't have screwed up as badly as they did on this one. The name game on drugs and the ookabillion programs available are ridiculous. I don't blame the elderly who are saying "Bullocks is the name of my prescription drug plan!". Unfreakinbelievable. At least I'm out of the woods with the virus. There's still a hint of Kathleen Turner in my voice but I hope it will fade away quickly.

I'm making progress on the "Hey Crap Tour". All I wanted to do was sleep yesterday and I forced myself to stay awake.Three and a half bags gone. If only weight loss were that easy. Apparently Conan O'Brien is in town filming at the Chicago Theater. I hope you enjoy your stay while you're in town. The ex who's a tech guy is probably doing the union work there. As for my job prospects things are looking up, spinning things so it's a pretty and neat package is a struggle but I'll get there in babysteps.

I don't see what the big woo is about David Blaine or the fat guy walking across country. So he can hold his breath so can any toddler who decides to throw a tantrum in public. As for him being submerged underwater, he did have high tech help. Houdini would have never used a catheter. Or would he? The fat man walking lost weight because he walked it off. The point being what? He left a wife and two young children behind. If this is his way to deal with a mid-life crisis so be it.

One of the many upsides of clearing out the clutter is feeling the way the chi of different rooms feels. Yes I'm having a very Healing Earth moment. I don't know how else to describe it.

Life outlook is good.I'm having some Ashley Simpson acid reflux but I don't think it will effect my singing. Nick Lachey is sporting the tacky lounge singer act a little to early. Dude you should have married someone who was in your age range if you wanted a keeper.

In other easy reader news,I volunteered for a subcommittee position which might turn into something bigger.

When Things Go Wrong Don't Give Up

2006-05-05T21:44:00.000-06:00

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!

I'm home nursing the spring virus that has racked my throat. I woke up this morning and was hoarse. As the day went on my voice improved but it took 50 paces back tonight. I watched Zach's class pageant at the Tiny Tot School. The woman who sat ahead of me was a ecological hazard. She had put so much shellaque er hairspray in her hair that myself, who had the lucky spot of being directly in ground zero ozone hell, and people three rows behind got a second hand high. Next time I'm bringing a mini can of Febreeze. Then it's go time grannie. I was tearing up until intermission. When it was over I was losing my voice all over again. By the time I left B.J. and Minnie's my voice was shot.

Minnie's mom was in town for the Tiny Tot Showcase. She is such a pistol. Minnie was on her best behavior. It must have been a real struggle for her to be nice to me. Suprisingly Minnie was almost friendly to me. As well, I was annoyed that she wasn't recognized for her hard work in the parents association. But when I came home that's when the paranoia kicked in.

I wasn't going to mention anything but it's always a good idea to leave a record behind when you're concerned about your safety. Today I had another run-in with the n'er do wells. I really could have done without the panic attack that followed later. But I was able to take a step back and refocus my energy toward something else. When I left this afternoon, I could have sworn that I had closed all of the windows before I left. Since I didn't bring my jacket with the hood, I knew there was a possibility of rain. Tonight when I got back, my bedroom window was wide open. Everything pretty much looks intact. But still I don't need the worry. Goddamn. It's not like I don't have enough on my plate. Just the same, there's shopping for a safety items.

However I'm being proactive. I think for my birthday instead of getting a hydrangea plant or a tattoo, I'll take some self-defense classes.

It's a Dead Man's Party

2006-05-02T23:02:00.000-06:00

For all those who like to interpret dreams this one's for you. Apparently last night, dead relatives came to me in my dreams and decided it was time to tell me some things. I have always been spiritual connected that way. I've never been comfortable with it. But some of the bombshells that were dropped on me just freaked the living shit out of me. The bizarre part was when there were planes flying overhead they cut off transmission at certain times with said relatives. I won't reveal all but there are some doozies. Ready. Here I go.

The first person was Grampa BJ. It was as if he had diarrhea of the mouth. The condensed version is that I need to get a passport. Mr. FabulousMagnetism is on his way. I need to haul ass and get ready. He told me the number of children I would have with this man. I was stunned. It's not a Michelle Duggar number but enough to keep anyone busy. He mentioned that the path I'm on is a good one. Later I thought, "A hint as to which path, would have been nice". He wanted me to try and reconcile with Fred on his behalf. Some stuff went on between them.

Fred was stunned into shock when B.J. told him. Yes Easy Readers, B.J. dropped the bomb on him. How did he know did you say? Ethel. I made the mistake of telling Ethel on the way to her doctor's appointment. At said appointment I had a moment of humility. As that old saying goes, telephone, telagraph, or tellEthel. I told her not to say anything but that went out the window.

As well Grandpa mentioned make sure to ask about the house. Later,B.J. informs Ethel that he has a possible gig on the West Coast. She was not too happy about that.

Next relative up to visit was my late Aunt. She told me to tell B.J. to check on her son because something is up. As for me she was pissed that I hadn't finished putting things together in my life. Like having Ethel and B.J. isn't enough I have to have extra coaching from the beyond. Oh well if it helps me get to the next level, I take it.

Zach woke me a 3ish in the am.Not good for a lady who's used to uninterrupted sleep.

Ain't No Hollaback Girl

2006-04-30T22:38:00.000-06:00

As April draws to a close I can only say this. WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally a new episode of Grey's Anatomy. I was so happy I clapped at the end. I found it very pivotal. It dealt with alot of issues pertaining to women. The way the message was conveyed was at times very subtle. Next week proves to be even better. Meredith confronts McDreamy about possibly being called a hoochie.

I could go on about what I loved about this episode. The substory of womens'abortion rights was absolutely fascinating. Everyone could relate to the moment where Dr. Montgomery-Shephard does exactly what the patient wants then the patient denies ever discussing it with her. The lady who wanted her tubes tied was a manipulative bitch. It sucks when you get screwed over like that when you try to help someone out. I'm no saint by any means but still.

I'm Miss World

2006-04-28T21:43:00.000-06:00

Damn it. This is the third time my post has been eaten so the new title of my post is in honor of Hole.

Actually I had a pretty good day. I rearranged my schedule. I met with Dr. Pusher. I was able to communicate like a grown up and not rattle on like sputtering muffler. I kept my boudaries up and said no when it got personal. He said he was busier than usual today. I jokingly mentioned some mentally ill people have an aversion to sunny days which is why he had an increase in foot traffic. It's along the lines of the full moon theory.

I had the best parking karma.I was able to find a spot on Columbus Drive. I love the new paybox system. But an improvement would be to put a change machine with it. I was freaking out trying to find change to feed the thing. I hauled ass to get to the book symposium. If anyone finds a lung on the Jackson Blvd., it's mine. I so have to start exercising on Monday. I was disappointed to find Ms. Baldacci had already left. That was the initial reason I drove downtown. On the flipside I talked with a fellow alum who's book's film option has been bought. I won't divulge who it is either. But as it always happens on the day I look like crap, I get a photographed. Of course this never happens when I have my full makeup gear and coordinated outfit on.

I was able to find replacement locks for the mailboxes in a obscure shop in Glenview. Yes easy readers Illegal Ione is up to her old tricks. This time she's trying to use my apartment. I'd divulge her name but I'm saving that for the emails I'm writing to my senators. I had moments of lucidity when I was listening to Milt Rosenberg's radio show.

It was a open forum. Rosenberg was nice enough to play the Spanish version of the Star Spangled Banner. At first listen, it creeped me out. I thought it was disrespectful. Then he gave the American translation and I felt better. One of the lines is "the time has come to break the chain". If they want to express themselves and use our anthem as a base for interpretation, from a artistic standpoint I have no problem with it. However I do find it hypocritical that President Fox of Mexico has declared it a felony for anyone to enter his country illegally. Pot have you met kettle?

The only thing that made me go omfg is one caller who boasted that his family has been using illegal farm workers for over forty years. WTH??? His family should so be stone cold busted and fined until their great grandchildren pay their debt off. Shame on them.

Regardless of what side of the protest you're on, Daley has the best seat of all. He'd rather go to the Middle East than deal with the protest march going on Monday. Can you blame him? I disagree with the decision not to let Chicago policemen wear riot gear. It's wrong to not let them protect themselves. They are putting their lives on the line. All it takes is for one jackass to yell fire in a crowded theatre for all hell to break loose. I pray it's a peaceful protest and without injury to anyone.

Don't Patronize

2006-04-25T13:23:00.000-06:00

Jeez I watch one movie and I turn into Sniffling Sadie. It wasn't the type of crying where you're blubbering and your body is shaking. This was totally different at least for me anyway. After the film was over, I just started getting my breath back. With every inhale and exhale, my tears just flowed out. It felt very cathartic. It's seeing films like this that remind me that there are good guys out there and not all complete asshats.

I've been quite productive on the the "Hey I have too much crap" Tour 2006. I packed up 6 bags full of stuff that I could care less if I ever saw again. Having emotional attachment to things can really mess with your mind. Some memories are good but others just bring you pain. There's no logical reason to sit with shit that just makes me relive things over and over. There's no benefit in the big picture.

In other adventures of clarity, Minnie has been super nice to me lately. Frankly, it's creeping the hell out of me. I liked it better when it was just a silently mutually agreed hate-hate relationship. She put on quite a show when one of her "friends" came over the other day. Minnie hugged me in front of her. Dollars to donuts if her friend wasn't there, I fucking guarantee that little scene wouldn't of happened. Her friend's adopted daughter has quite the attitude.We all sat down to dinner. I put two tablespoons of white rice on my plate. That little snot point blank says ,"You shouldn't take so much." Inside I was fuming. I thought,"WTF?? Who the hell are you? You little shit." Had it been a teenager or older I would have totally gone off. Her mom apologized profusely but I was hurt just the same.

Oprah had a episode where some mom thought it was perfectly acceptable to allow her toddler daughter to view Victoria's Secret catalogs and other beauty magazines. Now the three year old has a negative self image complex. That wouldn't of happened if she had MS, Bitch, and Bust on her coffee table. Meryl was quite impressed with my patience with her daughter and Zach. She must have lit quite a fire under Minnie because this morning there was a message from her on the cell. I wonder how other people deal with empty compliments. It just smells so obviously like bullshit. Her mood is most likely on the upswing since I'm taking care of some things for her.

The family function went off without a hitch. Fred even got ahold of one of his brother's from the Motherland. They chatted for over a hour. It gave me time to help pick out Ethel's outfit. She just didn't plan it this year. It really surprised me because she usually does these things way in advance. In a one small step for me, one giant leap for the bullied kids. I stood up for myself. One particular cousin likes to tease me about something I did when I was oh twelve and he still got his kicks from it. At the family event he tried to bring it up yet again. He said "Don't you remember what you used to say?" I said,"I'm lucky if I can find a pair of matching socks. You expect me to remember something that I said when I was twelve?" I have no clue whether it was my tone, body language or facial expression that shut him up pretty damn fast.

During the dessert hour, Zach met his other cousins. He got jealous because they were getting the attention from the extended family. He decides to hide behind the bar. I tried talking to him about it. He complained that he wanted to be with his friends. I told him he needed to learn to get along because they are his cousins. He said, "I'll learn how to get along better with them tomorrow". Overall he had fun. Frick and Frack were adorable.

But no family function wouldn't be complete with a couple of jabs from those who supposedly love me. This years pearls of wisdom. "Isn't it funny how some kids gravitate toward people?" Frick and Frack don't see me as often as Zach does so it makes sense that they don't know me. They made a total beeline to Minnie because they saw her playing with her son. In their eyes,they know that she's trustworthy because she's a mommy. Minnie just ate up all of Blank's comments. Oh gag me with a big spoon please. DP and one of the Starla's are dating but keeping it on the downlow. Those type of conversations were avoided so not to jinx their chances. I wonder which of them will get down the aisle first. Minnie was insistent on wanting to pinpoint babysitting dates.

DP snidely said,"Gee I wish I had the free time to babysit".Oh bugger off bitch. Your life is so hard. Gee I wish my parents would buy me a condo in Lincoln Park, furnish it with brand new everything and a fully loaded SUV of my choice. Quit complaining that you didn't get the job you wanted. With the job market being what it is, Trixie-type jobs are hard to get. You'll upgrade when you can stab someone in the back. After all you can rely on Minnie to do your homework for you forever.

I forgot to mention.I totally went all out on Zach's "Easter Bunny" basket. Too overboard I'm afraid. I'm well stocked for plastic eggs and plastic grass for next year. I'll be so relieved when East and West are on the same page next year.

I really would have liked to have gone out tonight but I feel that I would better spend my time just heading it up and moving it out.

It's A Family Affair

2006-04-22T10:50:00.000-06:00

Due to technical difficulties, yesterday's post was deleted. But I 'll bring you up to speed as to what is going on with me. This weekend is the celestial soiree with the extended family. I'd rather get a Pap Smear and my legs waxed that attend this family function. KT laughed so hard that she apologized to me. I said it dead pan which probably added to the humor of the statement.

Unless some divine intervention occurs immediately. It will just be a minimum of five hours of me cringing inside everytime the following phrases at uttered at me.
"Gee we thought you'd be married by now."
"You'd be so much prettier if you lost the weight."
"(fill in the blank) is so happy since she (fill in latest accomplishment courtesy of her family's finances)"
"We really should get together. There's someone I'd like you to meet."

There's the old adage. Pins and needles. Needles and pins. A man who is happy is a man who grins. This will be my mantra for the entire function.

It Just Takes Some Time

2006-04-19T09:42:00.000-06:00

To the Easy Reader from Texas: Howdy! I hope all of the pages you read were able to help you get to sleep. Perhaps they reminded you that your life isn't off the beam as mine.

Can I tell you how much I love the interlibrary loan system? It's pure genius. To be able to find what you need and have it transferred for local pick up is just wonderful. I know it's been around for awhile but it still puts a smile on my face to find what I'm looking for.

Why is it that milk and cereal can't run out at the same time? Today it was soy milk's turn to run out after I had the right amount of Aldi Bran Flakes in the bowl. I swear it's a conspiracy. It's like the hot dog and hot dog bun company are in cahoots to make sure that you don't have a equal amount. What is up with that?

Last night was the end of a era. Gilmore Girl's little Lane got married last night. It's been awhile since I've been a consistent viewer. I was glad I was able to catch it. It was hilarious to watch Lane's mom go nuts because her mom came to town for the wedding. I can't remember the exact line but Lane summed it as follows, "Who knew I was part of a cycle of deception?". It killed me.

'Till touchdown brings me around again to find

2006-04-18T15:52:00.000-06:00

As a former smoker, I never pulled some of the obnoxious moves that occurred to me this afternoon. Snooty Sally was on her cellphone and flicking ashes out of her window without a care. Cars were swerving thisway and thatway to get away from her path. It pissed me off that her ash hit the car. I had to close Ethel's window because Sally was such a selfish driver. I had enough and when I caught up with her I expressed myself, "Quit using the road for your free astray and keep it in your car(insert your favorite expletive)" We went on our merry way without incident and Ethel was able to get some fresh air before the dentist did his magic. Who knew that a knowledge of tequila shots would come in handy in the dental industry?

It great to know that other people have the same problem I do. You start one project and interruption after interruption follows. Suddenly job A becomes job Z in the wink of an eye.

Hucky schuckles I really have to get stuff done.

One For You ,19 For Me

2006-04-17T18:49:00.000-06:00

I find it very fitting that today the jury in the George Ryan case busted him on all of the 22 counts. It wasn't a surprise that a appeal is already in the works. The only reason he abolished the death penalty was to avoid the stroll himself. The big trouble will begin when the people who obtained their liscense under the table go back for a renewal.

Fred wanted his paperwork done in the morning. We were almost in the clear until he opened his mouth and started to play the what-is-your-ethnic-background with the clerk. I was grateful that she didn't get offended by what he said. By the time I was at the stores there was barely any Easter stuff left. I guess I missed the action because in the aftermath two purple plates were damaged. Filene's Bridal sale had nothing on the messes I saw at one store.

A trip to the cinema was to see Scary Movie 4. I gave a 2.5 stars out of 4. Part of the reason was because the first theater had the film break which caused a roadtrip to a second location. I had no idea that they would rip Tom Cruise a new one. South Park's drama is nothing compared to what went on in that film. It would have brought a bigger laugh would been to have the Oprah character just yell at him for jumping on the furniture. It's wonderful that Chloris Leachman is finding work that brings her back to the screen. She was great in Spanglish.

Here's a psa to the parents that brought a baby, yes I said baby barely 4 months old, and the grade schoolers: GET A SITTER. Here's a thought. If it's Easter why not choose to reflect on the day with family. To the dudes who thought texting during the film could not be seen. Hey guess what? The glare was obvious to several people when you're waving it in the air like you don't care clueless.

I did love the preview of the new Wayans'family film. Their team did a great job and everyone was laughing hard.Is it really necessary to remake The Poseidon? Part of the reason that it worked so well the first time was it involved film legends such as Shelley Winters. Funny how no one with her body type was cast for the film this time around. The Omen remade again? Gee will the ending be any different? Are the ideas really that bad or did the new screenwriters cheat their way through college? Remarkable.

I loved that Ravinia has their schedule out already for the summer. I'm practically salivating at the thought of Elvis Costello, Lyle Lovett, Etta James, Patti LaBelle, BoDeans, Itzhak Pearlman, and a cast of thousands coming to town. I'm giddy with anticipation.

Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off,Start All Over Again

2006-04-13T10:51:00.000-06:00

Blogger you suck. I had just finished hitting the draft key and directed me to a place that said the following blog you can't be found. Grumble bumble.

It was mostly likely divine intervention that my morning post was lost to cyberspace. B.J. was kind enough to take Ethel to see a family friend in the hospital. Virginia's resilience astounds me. This is her fourth surgery to fight cancer. When she saw Ethel,Virginia said she was going to get better so they can trip back to the motherland together. As Ethel was telling me this in the car on the way home from B.J's ,I was truly touched by Virginia's tenacity. This time around they removed Virginia's lung.

I was frustrated that there hasn't been enough research done towards woman's health. I didn't understand why they couldn't have caught the cancer sooner. Even with this last surgery, her likelihood of survival of even a year is a long shot. If that is the case why not just let her live out her final days as best as possible. Instead of her grandchildren having their last image of grandma from a hospitable bed, it should be with them baking cookies. Ethel tried to get all bummed about it. But I gave her back her own advice. Isn't it you who taught me that God has a plan for each and every one of us? We are not left to fend for ourselves. He is with us every step of the way. Throughout our triumphs and failures he is there to give us humility or mercy as he sees fit.

Perhaps it was fitting that I finally got around to watching Schindler's List while I was folding laundry. It's amazing what the power of one person can do. The most touching scenes were at the end when Mr. Schindler breaks down after receiving the gift from his former employees. He looked at it and thought about what else he could have done to save more people. Also the end when the real life survivors placed rocks on the top of the real Mr. Schindler's gravestone.

As well A Day Without A Mexican showed what would happen if one ethnic group left California. Arbritrarally picking one ethnicity is wrong. But 9/11 would not have happened if those with expired visas were ejected in a timely manner. I still say corporations that have illegal alien labor need to be hit very hard in the pocketbook. Shame on previous sessions of Congress for not addressing this problem sooner. As well the fees in place for those if given supposed amnesty are joke. 1k is chump change when compared to the financial drain that is on our nation. Using recycled landing plates from the Gulf War as a border does about as much good as using surplus government cheese.

My Whole Life Spins Into A Frenzy

2006-04-11T14:02:00.000-06:00

Dear Karma,

Thank you for putting me in my place. No, I really mean that. A dose of humility does the soul good every so often.

Because of what happened, today officially sucks for me. Oh let me share the joy of the past 24 hours.
1. From 9 to 5 yesterday, I babysat my nephew at the very last minute so Minnie could go to a gig in the land of Shlamiel and Shlamazel. Nevermind the fact that she could have asked any of her friends who she trolled with over the weekend. Okay she gets back at noon the same day, starts bitching at me about why I'm there, about B.J. etc.... Her acting skills are so bad they deserve of a Razzie Award or at least a raspberry. Zach and I had fun for the most part. My only concern that alarmed me was that he started to tell me that sometimes his mommy yells at him. I asked why she would do that and how does that make him feel. He tells me that his mommy told him he's not supposed to talk to anyone about it anymore when she does that and to not talk to me about his feelings. I played it straight and didn't bring it up to her or B.J. Of course those two were all overly sweet in front of me, I thought I'd get a toothache. Yet again Sissie "won" a gig somewhere. Oh yeah and somehow Minnie has never gotten a paycheck in the all of the time she's worked for this flimflam operation.
2. Because I had to stay 'till 5pm., I missed attending a meeting that I had been really looking forward to. As well I was not Ethel's favorite person because I was unable to complete the list of things she and Fred wanted me to do. Those were put on today's to do list.
3. After I came back from M.,Ethel was all hot and bothered for me to go to the post office. For some reason I felt like I was supposed to be doing something else. I couldn't remember. I start to check my cell phone messages from yesterday since I was too busy to answer them from the day before. That was a big mistake. Dr. Penny's office was calling to confirm for today's appointment. Yes easy reader's after having a near spotless record for four years, I dropped the ball. While I was out, his office also called Fred and Ethel as well as spoke to Fred who never shared this information with anyone. However it all hit the fan, after I called the office and they tell me we missed the appointment. I just felt lower than dirt. They tell me they tried talking to Fred and he was his usual belligerent self. I tried talking to him about it. His response was the expected verbal abuse with the last parting shot of "I want you out of my life". Oh if it were only that easy.
4.Add to the mix, Ethel blabbing to B.J. what a fuckup I am. It's really nothing new. Of course I denied that there was an appointment. Fred's mood swing was already on the dark side. I'm summoned to the phone for my lecture. B.J. tells me "I'm interfering in mom and dad's marriage and that I need to butt out." Gee why didn't I think of that? I could of have a V8 too.
5. Fred and Ethel were mad at me because I choose not to eat what they do. I'm trying to adhere to a strict Lenten diet and it doesn't help when they have the good food in front of me. It would be so easy to cheat and deny it but I don't play like that.
6.The job that I was hoping to get was given to someone else. I blew it.

I've been craving a cigarette and would have done some retail therapy or binge eating if I were in a better financial position. It could have been worse. I'm grateful for small favors.

Can You See The Real Me?

2006-04-09T12:57:00.000-06:00

It's a sunny day out today. The temperature is decent. But my heart is so heavy. There'll be a a few film references. Since I'm feeling a bit selfish, it will be up to whoever wants to take the extra step to go to . That's stands for the International Move Data Base. Nine times out of ten I'll always invert the d and b. Perhaps an easy way to remember is to think of that actor D.B. Sweeney. Not to be confused with Sweeney Todd.

This morning I woke up and Ethel is watching a film that has the following quote "Do not let your past dictate who you'll become but let it be a part of who you are". I apologize if I butchered the quote. I'm in the doghouse because the Dish isn't cooperating and of course it's my fault. I'll have to say last night SNL put an interesting spin on the immigration issue. Assimilation into this country is not easy for first generation children such as myself. There's a fine line you have to walk and sometimes you fall off of the highwire. I can remember as a child I had my school me of sorts. However the minute I walked up the stairs and through the door you felt as if you were transplanted back to the Motherland. At times it's been a blessing and other times a curse. I had a friend visiting from Missouri. The very minute she stepped into my parents kitchen I'll never forget what M. said. "It feels like I'm in a scene straight out of the "Godfather". " Well you can guess how I felt about the whole thing.

I thought I'd be able to be productive and go through some clutter watching this afternoon's matinee. Instead I cried through the whole thing. I didn't reach for a kleenex until afterwards because I didn't want to waste any. It's a old Hallmark classic,"Miss Rose White". I was so surprised that I couldn't find it at the local Hallmark where they had so many other titles on dvd. I had to have the library do an interlibrary search to find it. But they did and it was on VHS. I struggle so much with trying to find my place in the world. How many days I've wished I was someone else and somewhere else? I've stopped taking count.

There are those days when I feel I could pass for Waspy Betty. On more than one occasion I've been told by certain people in my ethnic background that I don't look like one of them. I certainly have the education. The skills I didn't learn along the way via a trial by fire, I picked up in a book. However there's only so much a book could teach you. When I was younger I was so angry at my mom. There were so many things I needed to know and because she didn't grow up in a urban environment she didn't know the answers. Looking back now I know it wasn't her fault. It didn't help that the relatives I could have gotten advice from where either selfish, manipulative, or ignorant themselves. But I feel I'm forever playing catch up with everyone else. It hurts and it sucks. I think I've hit the threshold of being told x amount of times. Sorry you just don't measure up.

I understand that in the acting industry women are constantly undergoing makeovers and physical transformations so they can earn a paycheck. I've always wanted to ask. Is selling your soul really worth it to get what you want? There's a certain actress that People did one of those pictorials over the years to show how the person changed. The very obvious was the she got a nose job and colored contacts. I guess I'm a hypocrite for thinking the way I do. The flipside is embracing who you are flaws and all. Go out easy readers and see "Phat Girlz" starring the ever fabulous M'onique. If you feel like learning more then go out and get "Skinny bitches are evil".

Then there are the days when I feel I could be back in the Motherland living the agrarian life. I know had my parents not decided to come here I would most likely have been stuck in some god-awful arranged marriage and had ookabillion children by now. I thought the balancing act was supposed to be easier not be made worse.

It's not that I'm not grateful for what blessings I do have. I just don't know what my purpose is in the big picture. I've been praying alot about which direction I should take. I just afford to make anymore mistakes. Sometimes I think you're only given so many chances. and then you're kinda stuck with what you've got. Please tell that I'm not stuck here. I'm not looking for a greener backyard. The Jones' can do as they please. I just want a different kind of place.

Where did you come from baby?

2006-04-07T20:26:00.000-06:00

OMG my allergies are the worst. I have no idea what the mold/pollen count is out there. It's okay Mother Nature if you decide to tone it down. I've been a itchy eyed, runny nose, and tissue in front of my face type of lady.

I thought I was going to die when I forgot my mini-stash of Kleenex with me to the doctor's office. It was a two hour fun fest in the waiting room while Ethel was getting her teeth fixed. I really can't complain though. I was able to tackle 49 pages of "The 5 people you meet in heaven" by Mitch Albom. Before that I got my dose of Oprah and her debt diet. This was the first time Ethel was ever late for an appointment. I was shocked when she wasn't ready. But I didn't follow my usual routine either. I was still mad at Fred after what happened yesterday. I didn't feel like dealing with his shit that early in the morning. But I also overslept too. It is a rare thing for me to do these days.

On the drive over, Ethel filled me in on some things. I found out that when I left to go take books back to the library. Illegal Ione was back again harrassing Fred. Dammit. It's bad enough that the Senate wants to pass the stupidest illegal amnesty program yet. This time around they are giving extra bonus points to squatters who have lived in this country for five years or more. But less than that you have to leave. Yeah right. Certain days it appears member of Congress are just a bunch of overpaid jackasses. I'm writing my state senators about this topic. I'm sorry you don't have to go home but you sure as hell not staying here. This claim that our country would come to a standstill without them. Guess again. There's a little thing called temp agencies. These places and oh the unemployment office could very easily fill their positions with people who would be required to be paid a decent wage. It's a matter of supply and demand. Do the math.

It Just Take Sometime

2006-04-05T22:48:00.000-06:00

Woo hoo!!! My toity has a new cushy seat. The adjustable wrench is my new favorite invention. I was able to clean 3/4 of the bathroom. Bathtub you're about to get served.

Some of you loyal easy readers may have noticed something a bit different. That comes courtesy of someone ,who was pointed out to me by a easy reader, as a person who may have the notion of taking my ideas and pimping them out for profit. The pen may be mightier than the sword but nothing says loving like hitting your bank account with a subpoena.

I didn't mean to linger that late tonight. It makes sense to have it structured that way. Oh my, that guy was sooooo annoying. Yelling at the very people who want to help you won't solve anything. It hurt my feelings when she said it was a eyesore. The neighborhood didn't start out that way.

I Think I Missed Again

2006-04-03T10:12:00.000-06:00

Oh just lovely. Lovely. Lovely. Lovely.(conjuring the voice of Blanche Devereaux).

This gray day just matches my grumble mumble Monday mood. I do appreciate the lack of respect this early in the day. Job starts immediately. Why does thinking aobut everything I want to do give my stomach these violent inspirations of dry heaves? Maalox, economy size please.

But on the upside, Grey's Anatomy. OMG. I had no idea that was Chris O'Donnell. He looks great as a grownup. Congrats again to Shonda Rimes for using locals such as O'Donnell and Laurie Metcalf. She gave a excellent performance last night. I love that they featured the main actresses knitting on that episode. Isn't most artwork created out of a place for channeling frustration? Hmmm, that gives me an idea.

I swear if I have one more legal thing to deal with I will march myself down to Stanley Kaplan and take a prep course for the LSAT.Unfreakingbelievable. And in the handygirl's delight, who knew that replacing a toilet seat took that much work. No wonder plumber's are paid so much. The bolts are just giving me a run for my money. But I'm on to you. W-D40 will kick your ass.

1,2,3,4, Pressure

2006-04-02T15:17:00.000-06:00

If ever there was a Maalox moment it's about oh NOW.

I woke up from a nightmare this morning. The type of building I live in was declared unsafe. We had 30 days to vacate the premises. It was some kind of mass exodus to places unknown. I don't know what it means but it I don't like it.

Add to that feeling,I made certain discoveries while doing research that gave a feeling like I've just had the rug pulled out from under me. I just love how sometimes my mind doesn't think. Don't you just wish you could Harold and the Purple Crayon your way out of certain situations. I only have myself to blame. I should have dug deeper sooner. Ah yes, the girl most likely to be a day late and a dollar short.

Feed Your Head

2006-03-31T20:01:00.000-07:00

I forget that people actually read this blog. I'm sorry there's some shit going down that I may post from days prior but not today. You like me. You really like me.

Hey HP mega corporation, would it have been such an inconvenience for you cheap bastards to have included as USB cable? There would have been room in the box. Trust me.

Yes, today just was not a good day. First there was the argument with Ethel. I'm trying to encourage to take a class at the local Senior Center just to get out of the house. It's not doing her any good to sit there and get numb watching television. I'm just about ready to fly to the motherland and smack around the executives who put such trash on the station ala Three Stooges. Then I tried to finish up laundry and get out of the door before a trip to see someone. I was frantic that I was going to be late. I ended up being early and started reading a book in the waiting room. This woman with some level of down's syndrome comes over to where I'm seated. Next she takes some bracelets out of her pocket and says she wants to give them to me. I politely said no thank you and tried to read my book. She insisted again that I take these bunch of bracelets. Again I said no thank you and she just kept pestering me until I finally thanked her and placed them in the empty chair beside me. I thought it was over and tried to get back to my book. Then this woman with a muted green color sweater tells me I have to pay her five dollars for them. I'm thinking "WTH?". Then I have a flashback to my days of riding the Blue Line and seeing those poor deaf people trying to sell keychains. The local news later discovered it was some kind of slave labor/ indentured servant deal going on with these people. Their captors would beat them on a daily basis if they didn't bring home a quota in sales. Afterwards I told her no that I didn't have it, she just shot me a look and said "You dont?". I said "No I'm sorry I don't." Luckily the receptionist said something about maybe she should try and sell them to her parents the next time she sees them.

I had a good session. I'm going to have to start exercising though. The walk up several flights of stairs is had me out of breath. We just talked about what I wanted to accomplish within the next six months. She asked about what was going on with me and I shared present circumstances. For some bizarre reason I felt the need to share the wedding plans I've made for myself. No I'm not nuts. Just a girl.

Almost every woman has some aspect of the wedding that she wants special. I informed her of my location and how I wanted it intimate. I have no need to do the electric slide or the chicken dance. Although it is kinda funny. When I was 17, one of the Starla's and I talked about what our weddings would be like. I specifically remember telling her that I wanted some kind of blue and white dress because just the white dress is just so ordinary. She told me I was nuts. And this season what is the wedding dress trend easy readers? Eat your heart out Faith Popcorn.

She described my current state of circumstances as something called a double bind. I had never heard of it before. It made total sense. She said that Ethel is keeping me around for companionship because she doesn't want to be left alone with Fred. No kidding. I confronted Ethel on that scam a few weeks ago. Recent topics of discussion for me have also included on how to deal with the aftermath of being left behind after the death of a parent. This is especially a very tricky challenge for most adult children who take care of their parents. Unless there's a proper support system in place, being alone can be a lonely place. I felt it when I would watch Ethel sleep in the hospital room. Relatives can only do so much. Friendships are a challenge to maintain. I lost touch with everyone I knew from high school. But I'm still in a good time frame to reconnect with friends from college that I lost touch with. I totally know I'm going to need help to deal with my head.

For some reason I felt the need to babble on about my family. This was supposed to be ME time. I shocked the shit out of her with what I disclosed. I love my family but their disfunction isn't helping me. I just need to develop a detour route of sorts. At least a few things have been settled as to what I need to work on. I'm putting myself on a schedule of a minimum amount of time devoted to clutter. I did today's.

After my session I stopped off to get gas. Some random dude tried to pick me up. It was hard to keep a straight face because the line was very cheesy. I told him I would pray that he finds a date and his response was to praise Jesus. After watching Oprah show, there's no freaking way I would go out with him. I stopped by a few places and browsed.Of course I forgot my coupons and preferred card.

FYI to Congress, if you bastards decide to sit on the illegal alien issue for another three years, you suck.

It's no fun being an...

2006-03-30T19:39:00.000-07:00

I really struggled with whether I should anything about this situation. Yet again this afternoon I heard the recognizable hacking cough of the old man as he came back to trespass on the property.The day before his son harrassed my father again into doing the "right thing". Um yeah. A big FUCK YOU to you.

I'd like to giva a big shout out to the Dept. Of Homeland Security and the Immigration and Naturalization section. I talked to a lovely lady who gave a phone number and advice. Just in case you ever have to deal with an illegal alien who's been an agressive asshole. Here's what you're allowed to do easy readers:

You have the right to dial 911.

Today was just another lesson in how when I do for others it comes back to me. Ethel decides out of the blue to want to visit her grandson. Well that screws me out of a night doing something for myself since I spent yesterday in laundry hell. Minnie claimed that she was going to take Zach "lollipop shopping" so like an idiot I offered to bring him treats. Minnie kept flipflopping about when and what to wear. My patience was just wearing thin. There was a point where there was so much crap going on I just went and curled up on the couch. Fred got mad at me because I turned off his tape player because it was time to leave. Another lovely verbal assault because I don't take the routes he wanted. I made the mistake of mentioning that after I dropped them off then I needed to pick up the candy. Fred flips out and orders that Jewel will not do because he heard from his buddies that there's a cleanliness issue. Fine. So I drove and tried to find the old candy shop/bakery that I knew when I was kid. Well another one bites the dust and of course it was the start of rush hour. There's was no where to turn until I finally got on California and passed Swedish Covenant. So random creep guy in a school bus yellow SVU followed me for quite a long time. I have no idea what the hell that was about. I finally find a Fannie Mae store and get five dollars worth of lollipops. Then Minnie pages me. Zach's all frantic and waiting by the window. Poor little guy. But it was all about the lollipops baby when I got there. In the meantime he played piano and soccer with the OG's. Then we went outside because it was a beautiful day. We threw the frisbee. We played pretend fishing and hide and seek. It was funny. He kept coming up with suggestions as to where we should hide. Even if Osama did the same thing with Bush, GW still couldn't find his way out of a paper bag. On the upside I found his sunglasses. Fred insisted we leave at the heart of rush hour. Ethel just had to give her side comments. Gee really fucking easy to complain when you're not doing the driving. And to the fucker on Pulaski who cut in front of me with no warning. You're very lucky the only word to come out of my mouth was idiot when you pulled that move. Did you really expect me to pull up beside you so you could have your macho road rage moment? Sorry better luck next time.

In other world news welcome home Jill Carroll. Let us thank her negotiators, our military, the State Dept., and the Iraqis who were able to help her get out of alive.

It's A Miracle

2006-03-27T19:38:00.000-07:00

Apparently today was a day for a change in plans. I overheard Fred being threatened by IllegalIone that he's supposed to let her use the address as a free post office box for another month. Bitch I don't think so. The proper authorities will be notified this week.

I stopped by to cheer Zach up. He was sick because a member of the coven was in town. I suspect it's Chuck E. Cheese hangover. We watched Lou Dobbs spin on the illegal immigrant marches. It's wrong that the American media are forgetting to include the words suchs as ILLEGAL and ALIEN as part of the equation. A sick sad suggestion I posed to B.J. was to employ the the ex-cons who have a good shot and have them work border partrol.
Realistically Congress needs to pass measures that hit the corporations in the pocketbooks very hard. Supreme Court needs to overturn the 1981 case that made it a requirement for the United States to educate illegal immigrant children. If you look at the numbers, the amount of dollars that they supposedly pay into the system does not cover the services they use. There have been two amnesties already delivered to illegal immigrants. Let's face it, had our government been more vigiliant in protecting our borders, 9/11 would not have happened. The guest worker program has been in place since World War I. I find it hard to believe that there isn't another option available. Time to put on your thinking caps.

But on the drive home, I did some more thinking on the subject. Regardless of what side of the fence you're on this subject, they are humans and need to be given the dignity they deserve. As bizarre as this sounds I prayed for them then genuflected as I passed by a church.

I stopped by Jewel on the way home because I needed to get something for dinner. Never go into a grocery store hungry. It was so hard not to go after the usual delectable delights. It killed me not to be able to pick my favorite treats. I was tempted but I held strong. I just grumbled about it and went by. Here's where the story is about to get interesting.

It's dark and rainy in Chicagoland. I pull out of the parking lot and head westbound and pass through two intersections. The light was green and I had the right of the way and I stay in the middle lane. As I pass through intersection number two, CellPhoneSteve who was heading southbound decides to make a southwest turn and is beside me. Then he decides to try to ram his car into mine. Why I don't know? Did I do anything to provoke him? No way. Then the next sequence of events made it feel as if I was watching a slow-motion scene in the movie. I can see CPS's aiming his car to hit me and I'm thinking go ahead hit me. But then in a split second something comes over me like it doesn't have to be this way. I slam the carhorn and a swerve over into the empty left lane and go back to the middle lane. In my rearview mirror I can see weaselboy in the far left turn lane of intersection number three. I don't know why it turned out the way it did. I truly felt that someone else was in the car with me helping to turn the wheel.

Whether you think it was my Guardian Angel, Jesus, or God, I felt that I was not alone. What I took away from tonight was that even though someone or thing tries to hurt me, it doesn't mean that it has to throw me completely off course. I can come back to my chosen path.

May God bless you.

Teach Your Children Well

2006-03-26T21:55:00.000-07:00

Most of my day was spent being seranaded while I was cleaning. It's laundry a go-go time. I can finally see the floor in my room kinda. Some people may think it was a bad thing that my role model was Oscar Madison.

After confirmation from a friend, it must have been brothers be kind to your sisters week. B.J. and I saw V for Vendetta at the mall who scammed my post without asking me. An excellent screenplay with intelligent dialogue. It surprised me how close another Hitler is possible if we the people of the world don't get our act together. I hate to say that I always get Jennifer Garner and Natalie Portman confused because they look so similar to me. The violent scenes made me squeamish. However the theater left me with a bad taste in my mouth for another reason altogether.

As we were walking up the aisle to leave, I spotted a nutjob couple helping their 3 or 4 year old son with their coat. WTGDFH were they thinking? I doubt the screenwriters intended this film to be viewed by a toddler. There's a rating system for a reason. When it says PG-13 or R, that means that age AND under are not allowed to see it. This parental guidance stuff we all know is a bunch of bullshit. I'm sorry but it is. It isn't about jr. high kids trying to sneak into movies. This is about parents who are selfish enough to bring their kids into a theater with others who either left their kids with a sitter or don't have them and expect us to just deal with it.
No I don't think so. More and more I see this kind of thing happen. Little kids can only handle so much grown up stuff and not have it affect them.

It's being a challenge going on the Lenten diet when Fred and Ethel are eating pork chops and broccoli with cheese. Easter get here I miss meat and dairy.

If you sing a song a day you will make a better way

2006-03-24T07:40:00.000-07:00

A headache and a trip to Dr. Junior. Feel the love.I'm not really looking forward stepping out of my comfort zone tonight. But if I can fit everything that I need to do would be great.

I've been having that reoccurring dream about me and the trapeze more and more frequently lately.

11:22pm
Update.Well I did it. I was able to do something for me AND them. I had my teeth cleaned and the hygenist was a riot. She and I got along great. Vicki gave me a great tip on flossing. If you double up on the floss when you're between the teeth you get more out. I need a mouth guard because I grind my teeth. Other fun things I need to have done but I need a job first. Not all of us can marry for the insurance ala Desparate Housewives.

I pampered myself. I got over my case of the grumps real fast. The colorist is a new legal immigrant. She's originally from Kosovo. Yes as in guns, bombs, and big trouble. She ended up in Albania for 2 years waiting for her husband to have her sponsored over with her sons. Her younger son is having a hard time making the transition to the American style playing. Back in the village his kid was used to the old "go out and play" vs the "organized sport route". Poor kid. What was really freaky was that she kept introducing me to people from my tribe. One guy was trying to flirt with me. I was thinking, "Are you kidding me? I look like total crap and he's putting the dog moves on me". Lol. The stylist who was a waspy as Elle Woods said that "Your hair is the bomb ass". WTH? Lol. I took it as a compliment. The manicurist was a total doll. She used to work for the Dept. of Transportation at O'Hare. There was some freaky shit that had gone down. She told a story of a Pakistani woman was stopped and searched. In her luggage was discovered books on how to develop a terrorist cells. Our country is so unprepared. Playing red light, green light, with security is completely stupid. To the schoolbus driver who parallel blocked me so her kid could get something from a store. Thank you for wasting 20 minutes of my time.

I dash home to change. Fred is being all obnoxious about dinner. When I told him I was going out. His face just turned into rage in an instant. But he couldn't say anything because I need to network if were to have cash coming in.

I attended a alumni function. Very nice. As per starlaness, there was the running around looking for clean clothes and nice shoes. Note to self must upgrade. Of course today my instincts decide to be shit and I go in the opposite direction on Meecham Rd. It was a good turnout. I met some new people. Brilliant funny women. I have to get my ass in gear and get my resume done toute de suite. The appetizers are great from what i could eat. I tried to stick to Lenten rules. My heart went out to another PCOS-er. I so wanted so give her the number of my electrologist but I didn't want to say anything. But we talked about the challenges of dating and I admitted that until I went and did something about my problem that I felt very crummy about myself.

After I came home I decided to turn off my profile on a dating site. I decided to add to my growing lists of things for Lent. I'm giving up dealing with emotional fuckwits. I know I have myself to blame for reading into it but who cares? It sucks when someone hurts your feelings.

Promises I Knew You'd Never Keep

2006-03-23T19:28:00.000-07:00

Yep, I had a extra special day today. All I want to do it is pull the covers up over my head and stay here. I just don't need a mini-meltdown right now. I was so drained that I almost didn't have the strength for tonight's activities.

My mood wasn't helped any by the fact that before I left I was watching Beyond the Sea with Kevin Spacey. I came across that scene with Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee on their wedding night. I was a puddle of tears. He understood why she felt the way she did without having to say a word. I'm so freakin' tired of having to justify myself to every single potential contestant. Just pick up on the fact, that something happened and be a decent man. Jesus how hard is it to find a man who puts two and two together and gets something. There's no need for the soliliquy. I don't want a new pony. Just accept me as I am. Is that too much to ask?

Add to this the little altercation near the car before I left. It's a wonder I made it to my next appointment on time. Don't fucking lie to me. Stealing mail is a federal offense bitch. Yeah you're broke yet you have a expensive haircut with outfit to match. Last time I checked you didn't win the lottery. You were supposedly leaving the state in a week. According to my calculations, you've overstayed your welcome. No wait a minute you've already done that. Sure Fred said you could do whatever you want. No, I don't think so. Unlike Fred I will not fall for your pity act. I will do my civic duty and handle my business. The party's over for you and the skanky company you keep.

By the time I get to the appointment, I'm a wreck. Of course I forget my book and tissues. Toilet paper never fails. It's good for the front and the back end. I kept getting peppered with so many questions I thought I'd rather have a Pap Smear then go through this inquisition. I fell like a deck of cards. It was not pretty.

Luckily, the drive over for fun wasn't too bad. Zach learned all about Zamboni's. He told me when he grows up he wants to be a baseball player. With the way this kid catches, I think the Cubs could use him now. B.J. said I should let it go. Oh really, you can hold a grudge for over 28 years but I'm supposed to let it go.

The drive home was a disaster. Fred completely took skanky girl's side. Of course Ethel took his side. "She'd never say anything like that. You must have done something to upset her." Holy crap. She doesn't have a degree but because she's a SmugMarried with kids that gives her some special dispensation. I know the commandment says honor thy mother and thy father, but on days like today I wish that God had put in fine print an expiration date.

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

2006-03-22T22:07:00.000-07:00

It sucks rotten lemons when karma just decides to stick it to you. I know I deserve it but it doesn't mean I have to like it. There are consequences for your actions. I didn't think it would hit me so quick. Trust me when I say I got the message. As the saying goes, vengenance is mine, sayeth the Lord. He's not playing either.

Deja Vu

2006-03-20T22:32:00.000-07:00

Today should have been a relatively low key day. The doctors had their patients and neither of my parents were one of them. Instead I had a retail flashback. It's interesting.

It was my first day the auxillary boutique. After shopping there every so often, the manager liked me enough to ask me to volunteer. I thought it would be a good way for me to get my feet wet volunteering wise. I phoned first because when I went in because on Friday it was packed. It had been so long since I worked outside of the home, I'd forgotten that it would be busy. I did have fun. L. was great. I put merchandise on the floor. I sweated like a pig and got dehydrated. I loved every minute of it.

As well, I designed some display cases for them. This time my ass is taking pictures if I do artistic stuff for anyone. Then all hell broke loose. Bigwigs came into the store and informed L., who is salaried, that she was fired on the spot. They meant business. She hugged her co-workers and even me. Her parting words to me were " Don't let what happened to me affect your opinion. This is a good organization." My heart went out to her. I totally KNEW what was going on in her head. It spooked me how it quickly it all went down. In an instant she was gone.

After she was escorted out of the store, the rest of us were just stunned to silence.
If God speaks in whispers I received the message loud and clear. Thou shall stayeth the helleth out of retail management. I got chills about it. When I was fired from my last job, I wasn't given the luxury of saying goodbye to my staff. I was basically threathened that any attempt to contact them would mean forfeiture of my final paycheck. I had no idea how my leaving affected everyone left behind. Life goes on. I'll never forget her.

Then I stopped at the local health food store to pick up Fred some shampoo. I inherited his scalp condition but not the longevity of his hair color. I had quite a interesting conversation with the owner. I had to share what happened with her. She explained to me how she had graduated from a very prestigious university without naming name and admittied in a former life was a teacher. Her opinion bottomline, retail is hell. There will always be a some kind of customers who will never give the salesclerk behind the counter the respect they deserve when they walk through the door. She said,"There are those customers who will always think that we're pond scum." Being open on holidays and weekends is certainly no cake walk let me tell you. I relayed a story about B.J. and I.

One year during the holidays, B.J. and I went to the late show. We got out around 11:30pm. There was a national chain bookstore nearby and it was still opened for business. B.J. mentioned something about how early it was and whether I wanted to do something else. Instead of answering him, I commented how badly I felt about those salesclerks and managers who would have to stay probably long after midnight cleaning and prepping the store so that the morning crew could be ready to go. Then he said, "You know I would have thought to had occurred to me until you mentioned it". No doubt scout.

In other news, he said, "Wanted to say hi/bye before bed". The thought of that made me smile.

The more I see you

2006-03-19T22:49:00.000-07:00

Tonight was a first. I voluntarily gave up a night of watch Grey's Anatomy to chat with him. Shonda Rhimes et al., please accept my most sincerest apologies for causing a dip in the ratings of tonight's episode. It was a tough judgement call but that's why I'll be the first to buy the second season on dvd.

Thank you God for bringing him into my life.

I know it's going to be a lovely day

2006-03-19T12:02:00.000-07:00

A rare post today easy readers. I feel blessed and whole. The sun is shining and so am I. The ingredients to this recipe of ease.Here it goes.

Yesterday, after numerous cancellations on both ends Catsmeow and I were able to hang out. It took some doing though. After constant interruptions from Fred and Ethel, I finally put my foot down and said I'm taking some time off. They knew about it well in advance I was going. I planned things so I didn't leave them in a lurch. Everything was okay. There was nothing that couldn't be taken care of on Monday. My cell phone was on as usual. Then the lady in line at the checkout of Osco side decided to ring EVERYTHING in her separately. The line was 5 people deep and we were all thinking wth is this mess. Lol.

Parking is a nightmare on Saturdays. I thought if Chicago's finest saw me do one more drive past them that I was going to get pulled over myself. After 20 minutes I got parking karma. I impressed myself by parallel parking from the left side of the street. It's not easy for me. I'm more used to parking on the right. I couldn't believe the number of condos being built in her neighborhood. Golly, that's going to change the neighborhood. The weather was great. I loved the feeling that the lake was nearby. It brought me back to my Uptown days.

Catsmeow's place is beautiful. She's done a great job decorating it. I'll admit I envy it. If Ethel finds out that Cats reapolstered her chairs that quickly, I'm in big trouble. I LOVED being on the balcony. I don't know why but I've always had a thing for balconies. Is this just a chick thing? Because of her back problem, we spent the afternoon watching Campus Ladies and the very first episodes of The Vicar of Dibley. Dawn French is a great example of a bbw actress who took a role and ran with it. For our dining pleasure Giordano's delivered a deep dish pizza of spinach and pepperoni. Or was it broccoli? It was yummy just the same.

The drive home provided some comedic pleasure. I passed by a place called "Miracle Medical Center". I just started laughing and all of these thoughts for ads just ran through my head. For instance, "Miracle Medical Center - It's a miracle we get paid anything by Medicare." "MMC- no MC Hammer didn't hiccup here." "Miracle Medical Center - It's a miracle we made it through today" "

When I arrived home, I spent some time doing a bit of reading, checking my emails, and wandering over to the chat room. Based on a reccommendation of a online friend, I said hello to someone. That decision sparked a chat session that lasted into the wee hours of the morning. I haven't had a chat like that since college. It was the kind of discussion where you could go on for hours and just share about everything. You didn't have to worry about being judged for what you thought. Yes the internet does give people some source of anonymity and liscense for makeovers without the surgery or the life coach. The arts have poked fun of the cases of mistaken identity for years. But not in this case. He saw me without my makeup. I saw him without his beloved Yankee cap. Anne of Green Gables said it best. I think I met a kindred spirit.

From Glen to Glen

2006-03-17T09:26:00.000-07:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

May the road always rise to meet you
May the wind always be at your back
May the rain falls upon your fields
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His hand

My temporary Irish name is Lorna Murphy. You can get yours at Irish Name Generator

A family tradition is to watch "The Quiet Man" on this holiday. This week I've been running into people who went to high school with me. That almost never happens. Usually it's B.J. is the one who's recognized and instantly treated like a rock star. I've gotten used to it and it's okay. Also I started my Lenten service project.

On a side note a moment of silence for the late great Chicago legend Coach Ray Meier. Catsmeow broke the news to me tonight. She mentioned several local newscasters were teary eyed when they read that news. I'm still in shock. He was DePaul University's Men's Basketball Coach for as long as I could remember. He gave of himself to a sport he so very truly loved and volunteered to the community at large in so many ways.

If They Ask Me If I Could Write A Book

2006-03-16T20:04:00.000-07:00

Attention Easy Readers:

This public service announcement will preempt my usual rant so that I may bring you the following notice.

The New Orleans Public Library(New Orleans, LA)

The New Orleans Public Library is asking for any and all hardcover and paperback books for people of all ages in an effort to restock the shelves after Katrina. The staff will assess which titles will be designated for its collections. The rest will be distributed to destitute families or sold for library fundraising. Please send your books to:

Rica A. Triggs, Public Relations
New Orleans Public Library
219 Loyola Avenue
New Orleans, LA 70112

If you tell the post office that they are for the library in New Orleans, they will give you the library rate which is slightly less than the book rate.

To say that I'm a avid reader is a understatement. I know I'm not the only one who loves books out here in blogland. Just imagine if the Harold Washington Library,The Newberry Library, or your local library was flooded out. You would sell your soul to Barnes and Noble, BooksAMillion, amazon.com or eBay to get access to a book. The local library is a place for people to feed their mind and nuture their souls. There hasn't been a time when I've babysat Zach where I haven't read him a story. How can the New Orleans Public Library have storytime for the little ones when they don't have the books? There adults who are trying to keep their wits about them while they struggle to rebuild amiss the chaos. They need their Calgon time too with a good book. Imagine how many books they'd have if everyone just donated one book.

I'm doing my part. Please do yours. Thank you.

Waited By The House Of Fun

2006-03-15T18:33:00.000-07:00

-or why my morning was like a sitcom.

I woke this morning at 7:30 a.m. I had my daily dose of "Designing Women" with my morning cup of coffee. I must give a big who gives a shit to "Cheerleader Nation". Lifetime please note that the last thing a grown woman wants to see is a bunch of stage mothers and overbearing parents with their daughters perpetuating stereotypes that early in the morning.

I tried to take a shower but it wasn't easy.
(Attempt #1) Ethel knocks to say she needs me to change her colostomy bag so that didn't happen. I mention I'm going to take a shower and to hold all junior emergencies until I step out.
(Attempt#2) Fred knocks and is in a total fit because it was supposedly my responsibility to pick up paperwork from the bank. This is paperwork he said he wanted to handle himself. I explain that I need to take a shower and will be more than happy to handle it after my appointment today.
(Attempt #3) Ethel knocks on the door to let me know B.J. is coming over because he wants she and Fred to come over because Coven and Co. are in town. I was supposed to babysit. So I called Minnie to doublecheck if I'm still needed. This past Monday and Tuesday visits to see Zach were cancelled because the brooms crossed international airspace.
(Attempt #4)Peace in the valley,I'm just about to turn on the water when the phone rings. I almost injure myself trying to get to the phone which of course I didn't get to in time. Guess who easy readers? Message was "Gee I forgot about that". My services were no longer needed. It really curdles my cream when Minnie pulls this bullshit with me. She plans her days out the wazoo but finds it totally acceptable to treat me like Lastminute Lucy. It's not like she doesn't know when the coven comes to town. They're such pennypinching old crabs they plan way in advance for cheap tickets. Not to confuse them with being a cheap trick. But I digress.
(Attempt #5)Finally in the tub, naked, and the phone rings. This time it's a good phone call. I called to make a appointment with a clinic last week. They said they'd get back to me as soon as they could. That was today. I answered the usual questions. My slot is sometime next week. When admin asked me about my marital status I almost answered spinster.
By the time I finally hit the shower it was noon.

I had just enough time to eat lunch and go to my appointment. She was running 15 minutes late which threw my schedule off. But I don't mind because she does such a good job and is so nice. She made an interesting point about what was going on with me. They wouldn't be so disrespectful of my time if what I did involved a W-2 form. By the time I leave there and head to the special grocery store to pick up food for Ethel I get home about five o'clock. Every hybrid car driver I encountered on the road was a total jackass. I'm glad you're eco-friendly but it doesn't give you special dispensation to ignore the rules of the road.

Wave Your Hand In The Air Like You Don't Care

2006-03-11T21:08:00.000-07:00

Today was the day to dye the Chicago river green to start the St. Patrick's Day festivities. There's a auction where people can been to be in the official boat to let the dye go. It's vegetable dye so activists can relax. Never mind that officially isn't until next Friday but that's cool. The northside parade was today and southside parade is tomorrow. I still haven't made it down to the southside one yet. It's on my list of things to do.

Alas my tooth chipped. No clue how that happened either. One minute my tongue is rolling around in my mouth and it discovers something is missing. I'm so lucky that our pharmacist is honest. I was all set to spend major cash and he said it wasn't necessary. Why can't more people be like this? It reminds me of that scene in Designing Women where Mary Jo says, "It's for all the women who've ever gone to a mechanic, opened their purse, and just said here." I cannot wait until I'm in a better financial position to get the dvd of the seasons. Believe it or not the old time ABC "Afternoon Specials" are out on dvd. Oh yeah they'll make about the same difference as they did with us. Lol.

If you call a medical office and they say we'll get back to you as soon as you can, five hours later does not give me a good impression. I know it was a Friday but isn't it a bit early to get your St. Patty's Day groove going on people.

Yes I've been very neglectful easy readers. I've been doing some soul searching as to what I should give up for Lent. At first I thought extra dietary restrictions but that just makes me more bitchier than usual. Then I thought I'd be nicer to my family and I've chilled on some things but nah. Finally I've learned that community service is a option available similiar to first time offenders. www.volunteermatch.org is a great place to go if you feel the need to get active.

Oh mighty God, please let me get a job that has medical, dental, vision, and a tuition remimbursement. I'd ask for a new constentant but that would be pushing it.

And That's Just What They'll Do

2006-02-27T22:18:00.000-07:00

The punchline of today is that I cut my foot while attempting to do laundry. No trip to the emergency room but the a couple of tiles in the kitchen floor saw some of my blood type.I just handled it and went back to business as usual. I did have a slight flashback to my days in custom framing. Sometimes cutting glass I'd get cut and not notice until someone else said something or I had finished the piece. I'd look at my hand or the digit in question and thought "I hope I remembered to buy the bandages".

Okay that noise outside my window didn't sound normal. Oh what a minute, it's a Monday, never mind.

Keep Your Head Up...Moving On

2006-02-22T22:14:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with a killer sore throat. If my voice is going to sound this raspy, I'd liked to had had the party night or concert to match my enthusiasm.

Wow. I put some mileage in the car.Fred and Ethel rode the wild pony.

Zach had his first experience of being teased.He and one other kid in his class are the last ones to drink a bottle of milk at night. Everyone else drinks water before they go to bed. He said they were all pointing and laughing at him. I knew that whole I'm sick business to stay home was a bunch of phonus balonus. Poor little guy.

The train ride was great. I finally put a dent in my reading for book club. I could not believe what a great job they've done with the old Cabrini area. Unreal.

I loved the meeting. Better late than pregnant I know. It was too funny.
I've forgotten how beautiful downtown is at night. I remember when the Botero exhibit was across the street. I was standing outside of the Chicago Cultural Center on Michigan Ave. side. waiting for B.J. It took me a few minutes to figure out that the people across the street were ice skating. I was so used the Gallery 37 location.
Once between classes I walked over and watched a couple get married on ice skates. This was a radio stunt sponsored by the Loop I think. It was a while ago.

In a random act of kindness, B.J. gave me a ride back home.We passed by the evil store that fired me. Boo. Hiss. As the unemployment rep. once told me after talking to my old bosses,Dewey, Cheat'em and How, when he tried to resolve why they refused to pay my unemployment. He knew they were bad news. The last time the hair stood back on the back of his neck the way it did was when he was in the Vietnam in the trenches with the enemy about to attack. Yes they were that creepy kids.

On The Road That I Must Travel

2006-02-21T10:46:00.000-07:00

Coffee in the evenings is not a good things with someone like me. Fred told me to be quiet tonight. Hey if he wanted it to happen then his behind should have been at the meeting. I had no idea how much shit was truly going down. I spoke up and addressed some issues that they tried to lay blame on us. Oh no kimosabe. The fingerpointing belongs to our neighbors to the east. Twas their phony butts that caused the problems in the first place. It was cool to see some neighbors I've haven't seen in awhile. One of our longtime neighbors is selling. She is such a hoot and I will miss her. I look forward to the next meeting.

For some bizarre reason I feel the need to apply to law school. Why? From my friends and relatives who are lawyers, I've heard the horror stories. The lack of employment, the hours, corporate bullshit, and law school in general is enough reason not to pursue it. But I can't explain why I feel my heart is leading me to this decision. In part I never want to be in a position of not having options. I know I'll pray about it tonight.

This morning I felt bad about something that happened but I believe things happen for a reason.I didn't mean to do it. I have avoided cleaning that particular spot and now I'm paying for it dearly. I took a misstep and broke a item I made that I was seven. I know we're not supposed to be so attached to material things but it's one of the few things I held onto. I've spent the last fifteen minutes crying my eyes out. I know superglue will make it better. It won't be perfect but it will serve as a reminder that neither was my childhood. It was a Mother's Day Gift I had made for Ethel but she didn't want it around anymore so she gave it back to me. Funny she still kept B.J.'s gift but not mine. In the past a sentence like that would require a litany of woe is me type of stuff. It's her decision. She can do what she wants. I'm just never going to be enough for her. That's okay. I know I'm not alone. Thank you intraweb.

B.J. was kind enough to burn a CD for me. The majority of the songs he chose make me want to take a nap but I didn't have the heart to tell him. With all that I have to do, I cannot afford to tick him off.

Recent posts have been MIA but I feel the need to choose my words carefully. Things are not always as they seen. But still. I don't know why I can't let it go.

And bad mistakes, I've made a few

2006-02-17T21:38:00.000-07:00

Jeez I feel like I've been punched in the gut. I doubt I'm the only one who does this. At the end of the day my brain runs through the days events. I analyze and usually I'm okay with how I handled things. Not today.

Zach is going through the constipated toddler stage. After reading bitchphd, this is more common than I thought. Well,poop gets stuff back in the crack and everyone is comfortable with cleaning it out for him. Not me. I'm not afraid of poop. I've changed his diaper plenty of times. But I think he needs to do this for himself. They're not doing him any favors by not letting him dig it out on his own with the toilet paper. It's not like it's not going to be cleaned when he gets his bath. Well he just wasn't into washing his hands. He's done it before but for whatever reason he refused.

This time I wasn't going to let it slide. The door was open I said you can't leave until you've washed your hands. He tried to head into the kitchen and I blocked him. He hit me. I sent him to go stand in the corner for 3 minutes. He took off to his room. I marched him right back and the timer started again. After the 3 minutes were over it was recap time. I knelt down and gently explained that it's wrong to hit when you're mad when you can use your words. It's important to wash your hands after you use the potty or else you can get sick. It was back to the drawing board or in our case the bathroom. He still refused to do it. I turned into a stern grownup. I turned on the tap, wet the soap and put it in his hands and washed them. They were finally clean but not after he screamed bloody murder. B.J. came running in to see what was the matter. I told him it was nothing. As I sit here now, I know I was wrong. I negated Zach's feelings and that's not right. I think I need a time out too.

But last night was all bad. I went to the local library to talk to the Children's Department to see if they could reccommend some books for me to read to Zach about some stuff he has going on. Wow some of the topics for young children is shocking. There were quite a few about a parent who has alcoholism. Because I was feeling snarky, I giggled when I read the title, When Mommy Gets Angry. I ended up with quite a few books.

When I picked him up after school, he gave me a picture he drew of a bridge. It's going up in my fridge and framed when I get the cash.Then we stopped to pick up some groceries. There wasn't the fun carts and the regular ones were wet from the rain. He held my hand while we picked out stuff. He only had 2 wants and overall did pretty well. If it wasn't raining I would have gotten him a balloon. He told me how he told his class how we played the matching game. He ate his dinner and took his medicine. We read stories. He's all into our family history. He kept asking question after question about our family. I felt bad that I wasn't up to snuff. I have to get on the ball and record Fred and Ethel.

Oh we exchanged Valentine's. I gave him a car one and I got a Cookie Monster with chocolate. Yes, I shared my chocolate with him. B.J. was happy that Fred and Ethel remembered him. I picked it up so Fred and B.J. could make up from the stupid fight they had had last week.

Today's sign was a personalized liscense plate that said WAKEBJ. I don't know what to do. Minnie came back from you know where. This trip however she was not wearing her either her wedding ring nor her engagement ring. I asked why and she gave me a song and dance how she doesn't go out enough to warrant her wearing it. WTFSIT? It bothered me how nonchalant she was about it. On the drive home I thought, my parents got her birthstone and diamond combo earrings. Did she just pawn those too? I don't know if I should bring it up. B.J. is changing jobs so she doesn't divorce him. I'm just so disgusted by the whole thing. I just have to pray on it.

Hey if you're in Chicago area, bundle up. Put on your hat. Get some hot chocolate.

Plays Games All Sorts

2006-02-16T11:10:00.000-07:00

Contrary to your beliefs, she is no freakin' Mary Poppins. She only tells you what you want to hear. It's a shame that you can't see me for who I am and value that. No one likes being made to feel bad about themselves at that early in the morning. I choose not to yell because I care more about my voice than getting my point across. Actions speak volumes that true. Let's evaluate shall we.

I was supposed to pick up Zach with Minnie's car. It would have been the ookabillionth time that she "forgets" to fill up her car with gas when I have to use it. If the needle points to E when I get in the car, I'm not going to guess if it can get me to the next gas station. Funny how she never does this for anyone else but me. Let's see how much fun she has when she finds to her dismay that the gas is not in her car. Let her sell her fake appreciation to someone who cares. I'm washing my hands of her.

The only time I'm contacted by either one of you is to babysit at the last minute. Period. Let's not kid ourselves. Fred and Ethel don't feel comfortable because your wife would rather babble on her cell phone about absolutely nothing than be a polite hostess. Just because she reads the Martha Stewart magazine, it does not make her a better person.

I noticed the huge envelopes by the door in her handwriting addressed in her handwriting to those she prefers. Fine. It's loud and clear that I'm not welcome. In the past I would have been very hurt. Now I'm just numb to it.

Furthermore she did tell me last night,it was YOUR responsibility to take care of Zach's medicine and not me. Why would I knowingly ignore giving him his medicine?
How hard would it be to have put it in a sippy cup for him to drink on the way to school? But when you get on a tirade, it's best to let it roll. I bet dollars to donuts faux Mary Poppins has failed to give it to him while in her care.

I don't care that faux girl can do it all and is sooooo comfortable.She wasn't the one who was here when the shit when down. I'm the one who saw the aftermath first. NOT HER AND NOT YOU. Yes, you went into guy-mode, taking credit for the discovery when the cops arrived. But I know the truth.

Your son's ability to not handle Minne's abscence is due to her and not me. Zach told me he doesn't like it when Mommy's sisters hang around when she's not there. Straight from the horses mouth. He can hear you two arguing and when she speaks badly about you to her friends. He asked me if certain things mommy said about daddy were true. WTF is she coaching this kid for? His negative attitude is coming from the two of you. Clean up the attitude.

By the way in case you forget, I'm your sister and not the coven. I don't expect a parade but there will come a day when I won't be there.

Just An Old Fashioned Love Song

2006-02-14T22:19:00.000-07:00

Happy St. Valentine's Day to all my easy readers!!!

Yes I should probably be in a karoake bar doing a swaggering rendition of "Love Stinks" or any bevvy of torch songs but I'm a romantic at heart what can I say. I was brain washed courtesy of the all of the old movies I saw as a kid. However, I'm a little bit wiser after watching tonight's Dr. Phil dating special. It was a great Gilmore Girls episode. I didn't see tonight's Charlie Brown Special but I thought I'd post my favorite valentine courtesy of Mr. Schulz and Hallmark. My culinary contribution was to make the shape of a heart using cheddar cheese on top of a extra cheese pizza.

Despite whatever foibles may have happened to me during the day. (I'm talking to you Ms. Big Hair Lincoln Continental who felt the need to brake at every green light for five intersections. The least you could have done was get into the right lane. I was glad to turn when I did so the other cars behind me could continue to curse and honk at you. To Miss Snotty Trixie at the post office. Unlike you who was driving the monster truck to maim behind me, I did not have enough space to enter the parking lot. The Minivan Mom was selfish, was too far in my lane, and exiting in the wrong direction. You didn't earn any extra Trixie points when you shot me a dirty look as you entered the post office before me. They liked me better anyway which is why I was served first.)

I truly believe in the power of love. It a verb. That's what it's all about. It's what's happening. Effie on WGCI said it best. It's about being a priority in someone's life instead of a option. The Sun-Times had some great how-we-met stories in there today. I loved the one about the couple who brought back their bill from their honeymoon at the Drake Hotel. Then 60 yrs. later in honor of their anniversary the hotel only charges them what they paid back then. Seven dollars for their hotel room.

Here's today's best bumper sticker.

"God bless the world. No exceptions"

It's The End Of The World As We Know It

2006-02-13T11:24:00.000-07:00

The inspiration for this title comes courtesy of last night's incredibly awesome episode of Grey's Anatomy. OMG Shonda Rhimes is a brilliant writer. A Chicago native as well. Maybe the green dye that gets put into the water every St. Patrick's Day has something to do with the output of writers. If you're as big a fan as I am you have to check out her blog. www.greyswriters.com George you're awesome. He's the ultimate nice guy who I hope gets a non-std romance storyline. I know it's too easy to have him hook up with Meredith. The closing monologue had Meredith talking about how she'd spend the last day of her life if she knew the end was tomorrow. After last night, I will never give myself a beauty treatment while watching this show. My eyes were tear filled with no place to go because I was waiting for my mask to dry. I did make me think how I would like to spend my day.

First,I would add four extra hours to the day because don't well all wish for more time? That would be followed by breakfast at Arnold's and I'd spend most of the morning painting my final canvas at a studio. I'd take a break for lunch on the lakefront at North Ave. and spend the rest of the afternoon finalizing my funeral plans, and writing letters to friends and family members. I'd have dinner at my favorite restaurant. I'd stop by and give Zach a hug, my favorite teddy bear, and a kiss. Then I'd head down to the Green Mill and catch the early set with a bottle of Merlot on the table and a pack of Virgina Slims Menthol Lights. I'd take that final drive down LSD. When I got home,I'd write my final blog entry, listen to some good tunes, and read the bible.
(Please note, this is purely hypothetical. Repeat I am not on the edge nor have I met The Edge from U2.)

But last night's nightmare woke me up with some vivid images. I had 2 boxes stored in a practice room at a facility. The boxes had some things that given to me by Fred and Ethel. The door had some glass so you could see inside. Everyday I'd stop by to check on things. Until one day the boxes were gone. In the dream, I raised the roof to a new decibel with my shouting. In reality,I woke up to my throat being very sore as if I had done so.

In the dream,the managers finally disclose that B.J. and Minnie are the ones who took the boxes. When I confront B.J. I'm told that Minnie gave away my things and it was their right to do so. I end up yelling at him and saying something along the lines of I hate you and never want anything to do with you ever again.

This dream shook me so bad that I talked to Ethel about it. She thinks dreams are the opposite of what really happens. That's her bag. I don't think so. I said if there's some she want me or B.J. to have to make a list. When I have dreams like this it makes me want to apply to law school.

In further adventures of Alzheimer's with Fred, he was mad at us for not telling him today was Monday. He thought it was Sunday. Sure B.J., Fred doesn't need to get checked out.

They Call Me Mellow Yellow

2006-02-07T20:38:00.000-07:00

Greetings to the newest easy reader from Venice,CA. You certainly spent some time reading here. Any questions? Please let me know.

The Flax-Seed pills are really helping my bi-polarness. I'm actually tolerable in the morning as opposed to the grumbling dwarf or witchypoo attitude that usually comes to me as soon as the sun rises. Add to that I'm trying to keep a ritual of having afternoon tea. A cup of green tea with a slice of lemon and a dash of sugar substitute. It soothes me like nothing else.

I've been quite Betty-Jo domestic which is why I haven't been posting as much. There are still some in draft stage but they'll show themselves in time. Borax is my new best friend in the war against dirt. There's nothing scarier than going inside the depths of a refrigerator. The crisper drawer can be a place to discover that's where potatoes go to die. There's this big bag and these shriveled up things with white dots. It could be a poster for a side effect of viagra. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But it's still a PITA. The top of the fridge wasn't so bad. I got more annoyed than anything. The stretching, reaching, and cursing at the certain stains that wouldn't come off of the plastic. But there's always next week.

I trusted my intuition about dinner last night. Fred decided to add this extra cheese to the usually brilliant Swedish Meatballs. I took one sniff and walked away from the stuff. I wouldn't even offer it to the coven it smelled so nasty. I was thinking, "WTF is this shit?. Is Candid Camera back on the air?". I was more than happy to settle for leftovers. Well Ethel gave me the lowdown of what happened.

Since no good deed goes unpunished,Fred gave himself food poisoning. That extra hole in the ozone layer is courtesy of the methane gas that came courtesy of the unforgiving cheese. He was just up and down the hall to and from the bathroom all night. Poor thing. Ethel didn't have it as bad and thought I was psychic for avoiding the poisonous concoction. Nah, but the nose knows when to say just say no. But Fred blamed her for supposedly adding a extra spice for ruining dinner. Yeah anyone care to share which is the fart spice?

In current events it was a mixed bag, in Pittsburgh the Steeler fans filled the streets and rightly so.I liked the foam cowboy hat with the name Pittsburgh stamped on the side. It was twenty years ago the Chicago Bears brought the Vince Lombardi Award to town. Hey McCaskey, how about you ante up and buy the boys the Super Bowl rings they were entitled to? Perhaps that's why PapaBear keeps haunting you in your sleep. Shame on you for being such cheapskates!!!

On the other hand, Mrs. Coretta Scott King was laid to rest today. Her funeral was televised but again I still think it should have been nationally televised. I loved it when the one Reverend stuck it to W. about the WMD in his speech.

A recent episode of Boston Legal(?) featured actor Michael J. Fox's character as having a living funeral. I've heard that idea more and more lately. In some ways it's a good idea but on the other hand is it being blasphemous? Would it be a catered affair for someone who decides to have a doctor-assisted suicide? Would you register for a casket and have your friends help pay for it so the burden wasn't put entirely on your family?

Homeward Bound

2006-01-31T13:53:00.000-07:00

This morning is a mixture of emotion. Today Mrs. Coretta Scott King has left this world and bound for glory in heaven. This remarkable woman was a beacon of hope after her husband was asassinated at such an early age. Her raised her four children and this nation's consciousness to believe that civil rights can be acheived with the use of non-violence. She set aside her own dreams as a classically trained opera singer to work alongside her husband in the struggle of injustice. Every time I ever saw in a interview or in a photograph, she always presented herself as a very classy lady. Our world is a bit sadder for her being gone. I'm even more saddened to know that she had ovarian cancer and the cancer won. My heart goes out to her children. I know what is like to be a child who has a mom dance with the devil of this cancer. The alternative treatment I'm told that she was seeking was actually not in her best interest. Dr. Curious told me a story of how one of his patients went to a place like where Mrs. King was located in Mexico. His patient was given caffeine enemas claiming this would stop the cancer. This treatment only served to accelerate the cancer and died 3 months later. If we're in NAFTA then let's bust the chops of doctors south of the border who aren't qualified as well. I believe in holistic treatments and they are best administered by someone who is qualified and certified legally. I really hope that this time the big three wake up and televise her funeral.

In the same post I need to ask for prayers for another young lady who has gone missing. Jennifer Kesse has been missing for over a week. Most likely when the FBI gets involved the national coverage will begin. There is a reward for her capture. If you'd like to help go to this link and post a copy of this missing person's flyer at your nearest grocery, library, homeless shelter, or place of worship.

Afternoon Delight

2006-01-30T17:48:00.000-07:00

Get your mind out of the gutters, easy readers! Today I was good. I drove Fred and Ethel to spend the afternoon with Zach who was home with bronchitis. His cough sounded like he needed to cut his 5 pack-a-day habit. Poor thing.

He was so excited to see us. He peeked through the mailbox slot on the door. He made sure we didn't get passed him without getting a hug first. My parents loaded with him with the junkfood jackpot of cookies, graham crackers, and chocolate. If we had gotten marshmellows we could have made smores. But I made sure that B.J. put the snacks away or else the sugar shock would have been too much. I completely dropped the ball and forgot to bring my books for reading time and some cute animal stickers.

Never fear though,one of the coven's brooms touched ground recently to nanny him while Minnie was out of town and loaded him up on stickers. The was the rule of fashion today. Fred, Ethel, and I were decorated in an array of stickers featuring animals and construction equipment. We banged spoons on a empty coffee can and metal bowl respectfully. He was very impressed that I could balance a spoon on my nose with no hands. Too bad I can't list that as one of my strengths when I go in for job interviews.

We read books, giggled, and danced all together. He pointed out that it was snowing to Grandpa very excitedly. He wanted to take out his sled so bad. From the window, Zach and I watched the snow fall to the ground. He asked why the snow just stuck to the ground. I told him because it was warm enough that the snow turns into water to help the plants grow. He looks me right in the eye and says "WOW, THAT'S AMAZING". Then he proceeded to run around in circles.

One thing irked me. When Zach was showing off his room, he was able to remember every gift the member of the coven had gotten him to a t.However the gifts that my parents and I gave him were given by "his grownup friends". I asked him who said that. He said mommy. He said this in front of me and my mom. Her face looked how I felt. Inside I was devastated and hurt. I can only what kind of verbals digs are being said at my parents or mine expense in front of this impressionable child by Minne et al.. Hey I guess I should consider myself lucky that the gifts were kept at all. Since our gifts to him are usually the ones that get threatened to be tossed out first when he misbehaves, no wonder he doesn't have an attachment to them. I just have to shake my head and be grateful for any time we get to spend with him.

He listened to Grandpa make animal noises. Zach reminded Grandma that couches are for sitting and NOT for taking naps. We all got a break from Zach when we each took turns playing hide-n-go seek with him separately. The little sneak tried to open his eyes when counting but I busted him on it.

When it was time to leave, he was sad but without any coaching he gaves us hugs and thanked us for coming.

And Daytime to Every Purpose Under Heaven

2006-01-27T17:36:00.000-07:00

A caveat presented itself and I didn't understand it until now. As I was about to go checkout I came across audiobook entitle, "What to do when God doesn't answer your prayers". I thought I was doing a good thing by not getting it. Not good at all.

Laundry couldn't get done because Miss Laundry Supreme hogged it all day. I tried accessing a website I found on the book "Now Discover Your Strengths". I called to find out why. I was told I had to buy the book in order to receive the pamphlet, that gives the code, that let's you access the site. That chased the rat, that ate the malt, that lived in the house that Jack built.

Then Fred announces that he's going to see Dr. Curious tomorrow because HE was invited. Okay, last week I get lectured that Saturdays are days from hell and NOT to come into the office. As well I'm NOT supposed to call him because I'd be bothering him.

I couldn't get hold of supervisors of places. ALL were in meetings. On the flipside, I missed Minnie's call (everybody say "Awwww..),it must not have been important because she didn't hotline the in-laws either. Then I found out plans for a visit were rescheduled but the excuse is valid. In the bigger picture it's better for her focus her energies on the situation at hand. It's a doozy. Please pray that all works out for those involved.

Dear Dr. Phil and staff,
When you say you're giving something away for free, common sense would be to tell your website kings and queens to back it up so the site doesn't crash. I knew it was coming so I just laughed when it happened to me. I didn't laugh when my order for the item kept being interrupted by the cybergods. Also the site with the free product has sold out but no one bothered to update it. Not cool but I'll get over it.

She Dreams In Colors, She Dreams In Red

2006-01-26T21:31:00.000-07:00

"It's another shitty day in paradise"-Uncle OG

Yesterday was bad because the little thugs came back looking for me. They were roaming the halls dumbfounded and loud. I stood with my ear pressed to my door."I KNOW she's lives here, man. Her car is out there." Thank God my neighbors came in when they did and stopped any ideas they had in mind.

This morning I awoke with a migraine and a anxiety attack. Nothing was working until I took a hot shower. I was proud of myself. I was able to communicate to Ethel that my irritableness had nothing to do with her.

It was a trip to Dr. Penny. On the road,Ethel was finally getting the jist of what B.J. and I have been telling them all along. The neighborhood has dramatically changed and the unfortunate element can no longer go unnoticed.A change in location might be a good idea for them.

I was trying to justify in my head to stay home because I was still scared to go out at night. I thought about it then I got angry. I'm not going to let them get the best of me. I noticed that mace had expired and thought it would be easy to replace after I returned my books to the library. From there the joy resumes.

I finished Skywriting by Jane Pauley. It's a great read. I love autobiographies for that reason. You're able to get into someone's soul and see a side that the cameras can never do justice. When you paint an image, it's you conveying to the viewing how you interpret the inatimate object during a particular place and time. She recommended a book about your strengths which I found and was taking out of the library. Since I'm going to start going on interviews fairly soon, I always get flustered when the what-are-your-strengths question comes up.. I never did get around to seeing "A Day Without A Mexican". But apparently it's a pretty hot ticket and is now on it's way to a library downstate.

I go to check out and I'm told I owe thirty dollars in fines. I didn't blow up. Instead I was just stunned. Last week I asked the clerk who was checking out my books if she could renew the dvds I had taken out and were due that day. She said no problem. It was a big mistake to trust the spacey dyed bitch. Tonight's clerk was expecting drama and I told him flatly it wasn't his fault so no big deal. However I get to deal with the supervisor. I was frustrated because I expect when someone tells me no problem that it will be no problem.

This was followed by a trip to Wallyworld. Last week I asked the head of their music department if the collection of songs on the cd were original tracks or were they updated version by the same artist. You couldn't tell based on the packaging information.I asked if it could be returned if I opened it. He said, "No problem". Big mistake.

A note to bands of the past. I want to hear the original version of your song. Your update versions do nothing for me. Your voices have been destroyed by the large amounts of alcohol and drugs that you put into your system. Contrary to what you've been told, you suck. I thought my ears were about to bleed because your voice just butchered the song that put you on the map.

I had to deal with the store manager. He was a pretty cool guy actually. There must have been a turnover. I asked him where I could find mace or pepper spray because I needed replace what I have. He told me they no longer carried it. No I have not been living under a rock. But I went to 5 stores. Four of them were male clerks who kept directing me from store to store. One place showed me that I could buy bear repellant. Let me get this straight. I can buy bear repellant for a whopping $34.95 but not mace. It makes total sense. Of course, a pack of Grizzlies was spotted on the Kennedy heading for the Addison exit because they want dibs on the new bleacher seats at Wrigley Frield.

Finally I ended up at Jewel where the lovely ladies clued me in to what was going on. Because of the E2 nightclub disaster, Gov. B. banned used of pepper spray in club because of the boneheaded security guards. My heart goes out to the families who lost loved one in that nightmare. If it means going on a scavenger hunt for me then it's all good. It is what it is. I went with an alternate. I bought myself a can of Aquanet. That stuff will stun just about anybody.

Speaking of which, Gov. B. signed into law banning stun guns. Oh yeah, that makes me feel like doing a Toyota jump.

LIfe is a highway

2006-01-25T08:56:00.000-07:00

Last night's dream involved me looking into a mirror to find that my face had upside down v's on my face. They were just there. They weren't huge but enough to leaving me wondering.I have no clue how they got here. Any takers as to what it means?

This taking vitamins before you go to sleep thing is a stroke of genius. Thank you Kathy O'Malley. On the other hand, I wasted an evening chopping onions for a household hint. I thought I had the wuss gene because anytime I have to cut an onion I'd just ball like Weeping Wanda. After onion number 4, the crying gene takes a powder and let's you do your thing.

Well it was my turn to be Weeping Wanda. As I was about to make Ethel lunch, Fred provides the lunchtime soap opera. He launches into how he's going to go the pharmacy and give them what for. As with everything else these days, automated telephone systems have been around for several years. Fred just cannot deal. He cancelled his membership to AAA because of it. The family Bluesmobile died on some local road in the middle of a wind-chill temperature day. He called the 1-800 number on the card at the time. It went into automated system mode. The concept was so over Fred's head it might as well have been someone's lost contact in Lake Michigan. He said that he couldn't get ahold of anyone after which he called back here. If I remember correctly, B.J. went and picked him. Well that card hit the can and was never seen from again.

So I step up and at first kindly remind him that it's not the pharmacy's fault for the automated system being in place. He grumbled on and I just followed direction like I usually did when I ordered their meds. When I finally got ahold of a live person, Fred shouted,"You tell them it's for Mr. Fred, and to have it ready yesterday.". I stopped my conversation with the pharm tech and told him to chill out. After I got off of the phone, I explained that contrary to his delusions he's not Prince or Elvis. If the tech is new and never seen him before, saying it's for Mr. Fred isn't going to mean squat. I told him that I had written the amount on the message pad. Then Fred starts spinning it on me how this is ALL my fault. Ethel chimes in, "That's right Starla, apologize to your father for being wrong". My good mood lasted until those last words came out of her mouth. I felt hurt and angry.

First of all, these meds had a prescription that was expired which Fred knew about to renew and told me he was going to handle. Fine. Then there was the delay because the tech's had to get Dr. Curious's approval before dispensing it. Followed by some reason Fred didn't want me to them pick up. Okay. Yesterday the pharmacy left a message stating that the medicine arrived and that there was a three day window to pick it up. He starts on a tirade where he berates me about how I'm worthless, etc...
Then he has the audacity to ask me to go handle paperwork. Meanwhile during all of this Ethel keeps interuppting to try and change the subject. I just walked out. I could still hear him screaming through the door. And Ethel wonders why I'm not married. Oh yeah. What a feeling.

I tried multitasking and thought it would be a good a idea to catch up on paperwork while watching a movie that was soon due at the library. It was "Tuesdays With Morrie". Big mistake. Humanity Critic devoted a entry to crying recently. I challenge him to watch this and try not to cry. I couldn't do it. This feeling of emotion just welled up and the tears just poured through like a endless Niagara Falls. It just wouldn't stop. Of course this is the one day I choose to wear makeup and concealer. All gone. Not a tissue to be found anywhere. The dvd was having problems so I ended reading the last two chapters that I never got around to finishing when I read it the first go around awhile ago. I can't recall that I was ever so moved by reading a book that I was moved to cry yet again. I've experienced every other emotion when I was reading but never Niagara Falls tears.

It was very cleansing. He gave some insight into relationships that I hadn't known about before.

It's A Beautiful Day

2006-01-24T18:10:00.000-07:00

Yes easy readers. The sun was out today. I did something that I haven't been able to do in 8 years. I visited my electrologist. Fred and Ethel were behaving like normal people. Fred didn't go ballistic when I told him I had a appointment to go to. I found her new location perfectly. I was fifteen minutes early to boot. I wasn't even interested in the desserts she had on the buffet.

The last time I had seen her, her son was at an age when he was afraid to go away to sleep away camp and her daughter was planning her bat mitzvah. Now they're both in college. Where has the time gone? M. looked flawless as always. She has not gained an ounce. I'm so proud that she and her husband did such a great job raising their kids. I wonder what Zach will be like when he gets to be their age. I have a lot of respect for any parent trying to raise kids these days.

I was very impressed in how well versed she was about PCOS. If I had the insurance she would have given me a referral for a doctor she knows. It still ticks me off after reading on the boards that hair removal for women is not covered under most insurances. They can cover pills for a guy so his dick can harden. But a woman who wants facial hair removed so she's not ostracized in public can't possibly be insured for a "cosmetic procedure". That was one of the reasons I surmised that Chez Paul just wasn't that into me. Going in for job interviews are as competitive as any Southern Sorority Rush. Tell me how many places would hire a woman with any facial hair. Not many. It's understandable. In a place of business, everyone should be well-groomed and looking presentable.

Stan and Terry said it best on their radio show today. You wouldn't want your doctor who's about to do surgery on you come in to the operating room with tattoos up and down his arms, a earring on his eyebrow and his tongue, talking about how hung over he was from the other night. Just the same as you wouldn't want you lawyer walking into court wearing Dr. Marten boots with fishnets,leather mini-skirt, and matching leather jacket with chains.The unfortunate reality is that you're judged by what you put out there.

I got a not so good letter today. You can forget but there's always a reminder.

What A Jagged Little Pill

2006-01-21T20:14:00.000-07:00

About know I'd start to list how my day went. It would include whatever comments I received and thoughts I had to the events of the day. Instead I'm stewing in a sea of outrage, confusion, frustration, disappointment, concern, and lastly prayer. I read something today that just disturbed me to no end. I can't believe something like this has hit close to home literally and figuratively. I can't shake the way I feel. It's been over 4 hours and I still am wrapping my head around this action that was taken locally.

Because I can problem solve other situations besides my own, there's an opportunity where I can be a part of the answer. However, I'm tethered to obligations that are not easy to untie. It's not just about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. My actions would rock the foundation of where I stand. That's pretty harsh considering that I always have one foot out of the door as it is.

A while ago I had made peace with the religion of my family because of Ethel's cancer. Perhaps God is testing me now. I want to dig my heels in on this one. I pray that for guidance that will lead me to the decision that is best for me.

In a interesting turn of events, I've discovered masks of some people who I thought I could trust. This isn't a the whole world is against me kind of thing. It's more of my surprise to the unexpected reaction to situations I thought they agreed with me. Trying to filter fair weather friends is not easy.

'Cause life is like this

2006-01-20T16:53:00.000-07:00

Low drama days make me happy. Listening to the news reporters flipping out about the upcoming blizzard makes me laugh. It's January. If it didn't snow in the Midwest, what would we do? We could try to build the biggest margarita glass and line it with the unused salt. Donate the proceeds to world peace.

Speaking of margaritas why is there a Cheeseburger in Paradise in Illinois for? I love Jimmy Buffett. I don't know what Warren Buffett sings during kareoke but my saving grace is being able to sing "Margaritaville". Yes I know I could change my destiny and head to either coast. Perhaps revive the Poconos hotel circuit in lounge singing. I don't see the need to franchise everything. I like regional food. Fred always say you should make an effort to try to have something new whenever you go out to eat.

Ethel's health is freaky this morning. It will be another teeth puller to get her to go the doctor. I was able to have my morning coffee and no cheap shots. But I was reminded by Ethel about the bad dream I had told her about a few weeks ago. The dream was that four men walked through the living room. After yesterday I'm creeped out. Oh curses DishNetwork. Please bring back the Lifetime network. I having severe withdrawl not being able to watch Designing Women and Golden Girls.

This rant goes to those sites that won't let me in to post so I'm doing it here. One will be more obvious that the other. Site one, I've cleared my cookies and files, done the rebooty rumpshake more than once, sent you two emails and still no response. I will email them again on Monday if nothing has happened. I'm a generally nice quirky chic with something to contribute. The next rant is more directed.

While I'm usually such a champion of what Dr. Phil has to say. The program title was "Kids Ask Dr. Phil". This could have been a repeat but I don't know. Today I felt like throwing cheese puffs at the TV and quoting back to him, his famous question of "What the hell were you thinking?". It was his response to a 15yr. old girl whose mom banned her from posting onto www.facebook.com in the house. The budding authoress left herself logged on and mom stone cold busted her. The site contained bikini photos of her as well she listed everything that she's been doing with the boyfriend that her parents had no clue about. Dr. Phil had the opinion that this girl should be allowed to go back on because she's generally a "good kid". Um hello. You outed her on national television that this girl has been logging on at home while her parents aren't at home. As well, her mom knows about it and has let it slide. I'm sorry but this mother and daughter did not deserve a trip to your studios for this topic. Your staff as well as yourself COMPLETELY dropped the ball on this one.

ABC or NBC did a report on facebook craze. Here's something I bet you didn't know. College admissions reps are lurking on these sites and documenting EVERYTHING these kids are posting. There are those who are denying admission to student because of their posting such sites. Some colleges are now requiring kids to list their personal websites along with their essays for admission. Little Miss Facebook and her mama are in for a rude awakening come college admission time and can't figure out why her darling precious gets rejected from her dream college. There are government agencies who are refusing to let college kids become interns because of what they posted.

Even though Google hasn't let "The Man" have access to their search records that doesn't mean that it hasn't happened already. College kids are being booted left and right for what they've posted online. Two young womens death could have been prevented were it not for these places.