Modern Day Worry of a Mean Mean Scribe

Actually I'm feeling a lot more worries than I am mean lately. The anxiety of trying to figure out my next steps scares the shit of me. It's been the cause of several headaches this week. One false move and I'm toast. Job hunting has been frustrating. The jobs I want to go for I'm not qualified for. But I don't want to have to pay a lot for my Masters. Only 25% of most Americans have a bachelor's degree. Shouldn't that entitle you to some kind of discount if you want to go for the gold?

I love a bargain as much as the next shopper. I had an epiphany of sorts in a Wal-Mart parking lot of all places. As I sat in the car, I thought ,WTF did I buy the candy? I didn't need it. It was 75% off. Oooh can't pass up a chance to harden my arteries a bit quicker can I ? I was doing the math in my head trying to justify want expenses versus need expenses. I avoided watching Dr. Phil because I didn't feel the need to watch some lady trying to justify her overspending with her enabling rich husband. The voice-over commercials for this programs sounded too trite on the radio. I thought I was in trouble because I was late turning in DVD's to the library. I still haven't finished watching The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie. No one tell me how it ends. It turns out I didn't owe money but I ended up spending the overdue money on used books. Then I went to pick Fred's prescription and found some other post Halloween deals. I know I need to get anorexic on spending. I'm not even spending that much but the belt needs to get even tighter. Okay get ready for the mean scribe part to enter now.

Dear Whiny Man ahead of me in the checkout line,

If you had bothered to look past your FUPA and see the sign that said "Today please be patient because our new checkout computer system starts today" maybe the clerk would have done his job quicker. No one appreciates it being yelled at when they have no control over the situation. Was it really necessary to pitch a fit over the price of fucking Q-tips? Good god, it's not you're hurting for cash pops. You weren't getting the off-brand. If it's not on sale, either pay or walk away. Perhaps if you did walk more, your endorphins would help curb your crankiness.

Sincerely,
Wanda Waiting in Line.

To the patients who owe B.J. money,

If you can afford to live on the North Shore, go on vacations, pay your country club dues, donate to your causes, and look good, WTF can't you people pay your doctor on time? For the love of God, he went to your house and took care of you when you were sick. It is not like you don't have the money. You all haven't declared bankruptcy. If you can pay for a maid, you can pay your doctor. If he wanted to treat people for free, he would have joined Doctors Without Borders. You cheap bastards are lucky he doesn't send your names to collections agencies or to me. I would picket outside of your homes every day and tell the neighborhood all your business. I should go Pam Zeckman on your rich asses. Penny pinching old crabs ante up and square things with your doctor.

Sincerely,

Boo boo the Bail Bondsman

To NBC,ABC, and CBS,

Would it have been so bad to stop the world of regular programming and just televised the funeral of Mrs. Rosa Parks in it's entirety? There are a lot of people out there who don't have access to CNN . I would have appreciated to have seen some of the speeches and songs in her honor. After all, her actions did change the course of this nation. It's a pity that you all couldn't have put aside your quest to fatten the pockets of your investors to pay respect to the little old lady who just wanted to sit down and be treated like everyone else.

Sincerely,

Perturbed Paula

In honor of Adam Sandler's SNL character "OperaMan", I'd like to introduce "OperaWoman" in response to some other news events.

Oh Tom DeLayo
Is a whinny bono
Wantsa a new judga
Still be a busta
Washing a money
Nota a wortha

Oh Libby lou,
Scooter boy what you do
Go an a leaka
CIA informationah
Send you to pokey
No okey-dokey

Busta Brownie,
you no fashionista
Stuffa you faceah
New Orleans a drowna
People a dyeah
Stupido a go-go

Bushie oh Bushie,
You need a kick in the tushie.
Judge Alito gonna bring a big problema
If he a reservso
Roe v. Wadoe

Ladies and Gentleman. OperaWoman curtsies and bids a fond adieu. Now back to the worrying section of my post.

Another big worry is the holiday shopping season. Black Friday is approaching with a feverish pace. I have to decide pretty damn fast which side of the register I'm going to end up on this season. I really don't want to go back to retail hell but that seems that's where I'm headed. Shopping for Fred, and Zach is fun. They love what you get them. Ethel has never been happy with any Christmas gifts from me. But like Linus,from Peanuts, I still hope the Great Pumpkin will show up and she'll like what I bring her.

It's going to be tough to top my gift from last year to B.J. I gave him a book that I had destroyed of his when I was five. And I had to listen to him drone on and on, year after year, how I ruined his life because he really loved this book. Courtesy of ebay, I found another copy at a reasonable price. Because he was on-call last Christmas, I didn't get to see his reaction. Later he just said thanks. Minnie said he got choked up. On this occasion I chose to believe her. On the other hand, Minnie has very expensive tastes. We're talking Barney and Neiman Marcus tastes. My budget is ValueCity. She ooohs and aahs for effect. Later it's returned, regifted, or given away. I know I shouldn't care but I'm only human.