I'm Going Down

eta: this post is from 2007 but for whatever reason I never published it.Here it is.

Hey Easy Readers,

I never thought this would happen to me. I've tried Nutri-System, Bally's, Women's Workout World, the company that was before LA Weight Loss, Atkins, and no weight loss. I have the happy news to share. Thanks to Bob Greene's the best diet, I have dropped one dress size. This happened while I'm still at phase one. I was looking for some jeans to wear and I hadn't done laundry. When I had tried this particular pair of jeans in December, I couldn't get the zipper up at all. On Wednesday, it was such a thrill to have them on. Even though I can only stand using the gazelle for eight minutes, I feel I'm making great progress.

I'm guarded to say that about other areas of my life. If all goes well this weekend, I'll have something say but I don't want to jinx it before hand. So I'll talk about a subject that just irritates me to no end. When people give you ultimatums about losing weight.

Yesterday, Maggie asked my advice about what's going on in her relationship. Since she and her boyfriend, Vince, recently moved he's started copping a 'tude. Out of nowhere, he starts giving her an ultimatum about how she needs to drop serious weight and get to 130lbs before their lease is up in September. He's been giving her the business ever since the holidays. I did everthing in my power to keep my language clean about this guy while we were out having lunch. What the hell?

He's not in the best shape either but somehow he's an authority on weight loss. Bullshit. Then he's giving out these jealous vibes about how when she's on campus, she's out to pick up boys. Boys? Are you kidding me? How old are we? It's not like she's out on the make at 18. He flips whenever he hears about her getting emails from men in her classes about academic stuff. I didn't share this with her because she really wants this relationship to work out. I think the dude is either carrying on a cyber-relationship with another woman or he's cheating outright in real life. It's obvious that he's insecure about himself and I know I have more than less that stellar moments about my self-worth. But come on, get happy, and make a change. Granted most of my relationships have never lasted longer than a layaway, but there is no reason she has to put up with such shitty behavior on his part. I just tried to reason that this is just a rough patch for them. I hope for her sake it is.

Heaven only knows the number of times I've been given the weight loss speech by relatives and one snarky ex-boyfriend. You have such a pretty face if only you could lose weight. Lose weight by a certain date and you can have x-item. You could lose weight if you switch to diet drinks. Um, yeah if I don't drink pop that often switching defeats the purpose moron.

Academic wise, if it's not one thing it's another. But I'm taking it in stride. I was so excited when a book I ordered finally made it's way to my home yesterday. It was so great that my dad waited up until I got in to give me the news. I was so hoping it wasn't going the route of the last ebay purchase that never showed up. Thank you amazon.com. You think of everything.

In the Hey I have To Much Crap Tour 2007 I've finally made some progress. I've packed up six boxes that will find their way to the nearest charity shops. I'm so relieved because now I have room to do my yoga on my yoga days. My exercise plan is gazelle one day and yoga another day. I'm not going to commit myself to a certain amout each week and not follow through. I'm taking the do at least once a week of both. Anything I do over that amount is a bonus for me. Yesterday Maggie and I checked out the campus fitness facility. Now there's no excuse for me not to hit the treadmill. Mystery is solved I know where it is.

His Address Is Heaven Above

Ok easy readers let's start with the not so good stuff. Fred passed away in his sleep in 2009. It's hard to believe it's been four years without him. I know in the past I've posted about the issues that I had with him. But in the grand scheme of things, he was my Dad, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I tend to remember the good things about him. However BJ is quite the opposite. He's become very bitter and negative when it comes to anything related about our Dad. I guess everyone reacts differently when it comes to death. I don't bear any grudges against BJ.I hope he can eventually find peace or a good therapist to help him deal with his issues of anger.

Ethel has become quite the angry widow.She's become more demanding and short tempered. After Fred's death, she went on a total makeover of the place. Ethel and one of her sisters went through and basically tried to eliminate any trace of Fred. I stood my ground and was able to keep some things from being thrown out.

Ethel, BJ, and other relatives have seen Fred in their dreams. I have never had those dreams. However this weekend,I felt his prescence at home. I was sitting on the couch and all of the sudden there was quite an unexplainable odor. It smelled exactly like Fred. It lasted for a couple of hours on Saturday and Sunday.

As this is Memorial Day, I'd like to thank those who have served our country in the armed forces. Let us not take for granted the liberties that those who served have given their lives for.

After all these years.

After many moons and finally remembering my passwords I'm back. After getting emails on how frequently people visit this site I was pleasantly surprised. Lots of changes but one things still remains the same. I'm still single.Lol. I'm going to take some time to review this and try to bring my easy readers up to speed. Be patient.

Hello again hello

Wow it's been a long time since I've been back here. I feel like I just picked up my journal from the shelf and can pick up where I left off. Well easy readers I've been a busy graduate student. I can't believe this is my second year of madness. If I could only find my ID card, it would bring my world back to balance.

My life has been basically filled with me and my nose in a book or near a computer typing my little heart out. There were no new contestants over the summer. There was one possibility but it fizzled out. All I had to remember him by were the charges on my cell phone bill for all the text messaging that conspired between us.

Some changes have gone on since I last posted.BJ,Zach, and Minnie have moved to the coast leaving Chicago behind. They had a hell of a time trying to sell the house. That is until the saint came into play. Which saint? Of course it's Saint Joseph the patron saint of house sellers. I thought I was going to have to go deep into religious bookstores to find one but all I had to do was go to the local hardware store to find one. It was the best eight dollars I ever spent. I went with Zach in the backyard and together we dug the statue in the backyard. Less than two weeks later they had a firm offer.

Fred,Ethel, and I miss Zach very much. It feels weird to drive by his preschool and know there is no reason to stop by. No more spring festivals or trick or treating. Until this past weekend I still had a booster seat and a bag of books in the trunk of the car. It feels weird to see it all clean. Now if only the cleaning mode would transfer to other areas to my life.


That's it for now. I'll try to post when I get my work done. Hopefully it won't be more than six months.

You're Gonna Carry That Weight

It's official B.J. is headed to Coven Country. Part of me is happy for him because he hasn't been with what's going on for him here. My parents are keeping a stiff upper lip about it. I didn't think it was going to affect me but a Beatles song came on the radio and I started to cry thinking of him and Zach being so far away.

Unlike B.J. I have to bloom where I'm planted. Sometimes I feel so stuck. Other times I feel worse. Classes have been very hard this semester. Hey to some they might be blow off classes. If I could have that option, I would have more fun. It just sucks that I'm always a step behind. Story of my life. It's not so much a complaint as it a statement of fact. I have a paper due in a few days and I'm supposed to whip flawless designs along with them.

Local news featured a community college class called how not to marry a jerk.It's a government sponsored program. Gee thank you George Bush. Have some Macy's Frango Mints.

Can You Take Me Higher?

This semester is just bananas. Jack Frost is nipping more than my nose. I was so glad to find a store that had some thermal underwear left. It took me three stores before I found tops and bottoms. Sheesh. Note to retailers: This is the land of the windchill factor. That means you don't make your stores ship back inventory that they can still sell because IT'S STILL WINTER. Did the scientists involved with the global warning issues leak some information to you? Even Bessie the monkey from The Beverly Hillbillies, knows that you don't send back until after President's Day.

My body is just aching all over. I had no idea the arts could be a way to lose weight. Between the anxiety over professors and projects, I'm on my way to a smaller self. At the end of the day, I'm surprised I'm still able to make it back home. When Prof. X, asked me what I thought of something, I replied, "Whatever you think is fine by me." Nothing says respects like getting barked at by your drill sargeant err instructor. It's just draining the life of me.

It's really cutting into my laundry time. This is the second time in a month that I had to go shopping because there was no time. Last night was another example of impromptu interruptions. I was all set to go out when Ethel gets a call from her brother. She offers the information that I'm available to work the dvd player to see more adventures from the motherland. It ticked me off. All she had to do was say that I was anywhere but there. But hey she's just Ethel. I went out to the frozen tundra and found what I was looking for. I was so tempted to picked up a must have dvd. It's the limited edition (aren't they all?) of Pride and Prejudice. The version I love is the one starring Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. I don't know why but it's my generation's version. I know a couple of years later another version made it to the big screen but it just wasn't the same. But I had to say no because higher learning was calling my name. Drat. Just the same I may pick it up this weekend since I have a coupon.

Then there was the free food giveaway on campus. It was a make your own sundae bar. I took a break from the trenches and walked down there. Par for the course there was a line around the block. As much as I wanted to have some ice cream I knew I could do without it. So it was right back to the drawing board. Put don't give me a gold star just yet. After dinner, I munched on some twizzlers.

In local news, some pregnant lady is going to the Superbowl because she put a temporary tatoo of ubid.com on her belly and will walk around with it in Miami. I hope there are no side effects from the ink.

Congrats to the folks who fixed the Tute's Lions helmets. The cold just cracked those suckers down the line yesterday.

Bitter days

To the easy reader from Moscow:

I hope you found what you're looking for after reading so many pages of this blog. Feel free to say hi the next time you stop by.

This semester is no fun at all. It's all work of the pita nature. I'm starting to question everything and it sends me into another anxiety spin. I finally reached the point of no return. I have to do laundry or else I start wearing my Sunday best to campus. Not that I don't enjoy showing off my fashion skills but not when I have to go to a messy lab. Everything thing I made today was total crap and I junked it all. I have no clue how the heck I'm supposed to get this project done in a week. There's no book, no guidelines, and a template to guide my way. It's not helping me, dude.

I'm just totally frustrated.

On The Outskirts And In The Fringes

Normally, I don't double post but I had a really rough day and just needed to get it down on paper. After today's studio class I'm starting to question my skills as a human being. Everything I made just stunk to high heaven. There are ancestors from the motherland who are spinning in their graves because I sucked so bad. As far as I'm concerned it's pinchpots for Hitler. I have no clue what to do. Part of me just wants to drop out. I'm so freaked out about this. I can't take my usual route of overeating and it's killing me. Everyone else around me was building masterpieces and all I could come with is shit. I'm so frustrated that I haven't mastered this skill that everyone seemed to have on their first try.