Put your head on my shoulder

I'm sad to say someone beat me to the punch on the title I had for my book, When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People. I linked to booksamillion instead of Amazon because they have local bookstores. Granted it's not local like back in the days of Kroch's & Brentano's. But I have a discount card and sometimes they have better deals.

Yesterday was flu shot day for Fred and Ethel. The fun started at 7:30a.m. with a frantic banging on my door. Ethel was insistent that I talk to B.J. Why she can't tell number one son that "hey she's not up and she'll call you back", I'll never know. He wanted to pick me up after dropping off Zach at daycare. I was supposed to hang out all day at his place because I had agreed to pick up Zach after school. Minnie was out of town on business. Of course I was grumpy because I don't like things changed at the last minute. Also, my frame of thinking was, I didn't see the point of me going over there that early. The typical brother/sister verbal attacks ensued and of course he won. I was pissed because Ethel has this evil habit of volunteering me for things without asking me. Her life isn't inconvenienced but hey fuck with mine no problem. After the fact every time I remind her as to why this was not a good idea, she claims "I didn't know". It kills me because she always LOVES to Monday morning quarterback when I'm the one that screws up. Being the devil incarnate that I was I said some things that I shouldn't have to her. Give the daughter of the year award to someone else.

Of course while they're gone and I'm trying to get ready, Aunt Imogene decides to pop by. I proceed to have a meltdown in front of her because I just felt like crap. Suprisingly she gave me some words of wisdom, "I think when men become doctors they get weird". She didn't stay long because she was having a equally fun day. Uncle Bubba was waiting in the car. They were trying to find some air conditioning covers and there's been a run on them in Lake County.

I was especially concerned because when Fred and Ethel go places where paperwork has to be filled out, things have a way of always going FUBAR. Luckily things went suprisingly smoothly. Unlike last year when we waited over 12 hours for them to get the shot, they were in and out in five minutes. This is a big sign that it's okay for me to move on with my life.

On the ride over, B.J. tells me how he let Ethel have it for waking me up. She even hung up on him because she was mad at him. I was totally shocked that he was in my corner. But things returned back to normal he lectured me on my other faults on the ride over. Throughout the afternoon my spidey senses picked up on the fact that he's afraid to stay alone in the house. Would it have been so hard for him to clue me in? I wouldn't have gone into bitch mode so early if he had just explained it to me. But I lose cool points for not picking up on it sooner. He's stressed out because their income tax bill to the man is a biggie this year. I find out that Minnie's sister Sissie is not paying her for services rendered. He's sad that Fred and Ethel aren't coming over more to spend time with Zach. I so wanted to say, "Considering how welcome they feel when Minnie hits the cell phone whenever they cross the threshold can ya blame 'em?". But I kept my mouth shut. Men and their feelings.

I had brought some books and resume crap to work on. Much of the afternoon was spent watching DVD of DoctorWho, a British sci-fi favorite on PBS during late seventies and early eighties. At least I have a hint of what to get him for Christmas this year. Damn the BBC for their obnoxious prices. I'd love to get the series for "Are You Being Served?" or "Absolutely Fabulous" but not as those prices. The boxed DVD set for "Sex and The City" is around $200.oo. My frugal self will wait for the price drop. That being said, I think putting Sex and The City into syndication is censorship at it's finest. Because of the way some of the scenes are edited, the context is completely lost. Another example is when films and TV shows are edited so they be shown on the "family channels". Whatever happened to parents just saying ,"Hey you're too young to see this and you'll have to wait until you're older". I'm a purist that way. I don't agree with colorization of black and white films. When books that I've read are made into movies, I'd put my two cents in to friends as to how screenplay could have stayed true to the books message instead of going for the money shot, so to speak.

Picking up Zach from pre-school is always fun, he drops everything and runs to me for a big hug. I've got the best nephew ever. Usually I end up collecting the art projects, extra clothes and notes that Minnie lets pile up. He was very proud of how he used the potty and made a big poo poo. The fun is never going to end is it? LOL. As par for the course I ask how school was and he lets me into the world of toddlerland. The walk to the car is fun because we can get goofy and he still thinks it's cool to hold Auntie Starla's hand. On the drive home we sing to the radio and count the number of street signs, spell out the letters, and talk about the colors of the stoplights.

I'm his hook up when it comes to kid friendly videos and books. I'm lucky that the thrift shops I frequent have them in good supply. I've slipped in some bible stories when I can. After yesterday's story he ask me where God is. I told him God is everywhere, in the trees, in the sky, and in your heart. During dinner, I asked Zach where he thought were God was. He pointed out me that is was dark and that God was sleeping. Isn't that precious or what? For Halloween he wants to be Thomas The Tank Engine or Jay Jay the Jet Plane. But Minnie doesn't like the design of the Thomas costume and claims he wants to be a dalmation again like last year. OMG who does she think she's fooling besides herself when those lies come out of her mouth.?

I have to share this but in Match Game host Gene Rayburn style.

Gene Rayburn : Big butt Lynnie is soo big.
Audience : "How big is she?".
Gene Rayburn Big butt Lynnie is so big that she broke a full size bed frame in their guest room.

Minnie was trying so hard to spin that the bed was second hand and so old etc....Bullshit. If my fat ass had broken the bed, Minnie would have conferenced called the coven with the news faster than a speeding bullet. She's not having an easy time though. Her mom who I'll call the Widow Hanna is seeing an unusual amount of doctors and is keeping the coven out of the loop. The illness suspected is leukemia since that's what her brother died of. Minnie flew back with Zach to see her for the holiday. I asked if he had fun with Grandma Hanna and he sadly said no. D'oh! Oh the number of storage units I can fill with the things people tell me.