You Make The Call

How would it go over if President Bush and the rest of the cast involved for the breakdown in communication just say a group "I'm sorry"? Or if the song "I'm sorry" by Brenda Lee plays while a slideshow of everyone involved goes by once a day. No press conferences. No more all my hurricane updates. My taxes are paying for you to do something. Get busy.

A woman I'll call DixieDana had the following dating experience. Mr. Widower had pursued her for over a month for a date. At his insistence, she spent eight hours in instant messages with him answering questions. If you've ever taken the purity test, then you know it wasn't just about whether you leave the cap off on the toothpaste or not. After their first date, which was at lunch at a local restaurant, she could tell he was interested because he was touchy feely and they smooched in the parking lot when they went to their respective cars. At first I was like "You go girl!!!", then I came to my senses.

I've been told that if someone is interested in you, they don't try to jam their tongue down your throat on the first date. I'll add to the list. Also they don't try to get romantic by licking your ear. When I say ear, I don't mean the earlobe. Instead of kissing me goodnight on the lips, creepy boy from my college days decided it was romantic to give my entire ear a tongue bath. I know there's a fetish for everyone. I learned the hard way this one isn't mine. Back to date.

A week later was take two for DixieDana and Mr. Widower.First of all he doesn't bother to get in touch with her until Saturday morning. At least he didn't pull the "I'll call you" routine. They finally start the date in the afternoon. It was time for the classic dinner and a movie. He came to pick her up. He brought her flowers. They went to the movie. Please don't post in comments and ask me what the movie was because I forgot to ask her. In modern day fashion, they head back to her place and her drought ends.Flavored condoms get unwrapped and are quite tasty. He calls her "his girlfriend". Angels start to sing but the cut-off was at 2am. He announces that he has to go home because he has to "feed the dog". Please keep in mind he only lives 30 minutes away from her. His dog was not going to suffer Hurricane Katrina conditions. I know traffic on an early Sunday morning is nonexistent in most cities. She felt bad because she thinks he would have stayed if she had asked him to spend the night. WTF is wrong with this picture? Isn't it kinda of a gimmie you sleep over if you have sex? Wouldn't most men want the extra sex they'd get in the morning because of the extra guest under the covers?

Since she gave over the keys to the kingdom for dinner and a movie, he's not as attentive. They don't talk as often and instant messages take a long time to get answered. She's going out of town this weekend and he said he's going on a date Saturday night. They know mutual people and are attending a the same party in a few weeks. She asked me what to do because Mr. Widower and Mr. DatePotential will be there. I told her to be civil to Mr. Widower and give Mr. DatePotential a chance. I will forward any words of wisdom you easy readers can give her.