Modern Day Spinster

The expected definition of a spinster is to just be a single and never married woman. If it were only that simple. I am a daughter, sister, auntie, friend, babysitter, alumna, artist, writer, diva, comedienne, bitch, caregiver, confidante, adviser, stylist, cheerleader, singer, dancer, activist, referee, sinner, saint, lover and occassional dater. Watch as I try to balance multiple spinning plates of relationships, responsibiilities, and reactions to life.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Counting My Blessings

I was feeling a bit guilty for not posting over Thanksgiving break. I just threw caution into the wind and ignored everything I was supposed to do. I needed a spring break of sorts. Although visions of beaches of sand and sipping tropical drinks sounds good. I thought if my blog can be found by using the word Thanksgiving then I better do something about it.

This years festivities were bittersweet for some of us. Minnie was still ticked off that B.J. didn't get the out of state gig she wanted for him. That way it would have been more convenient for the coven to gather for the holidays. So logically,she locked herself in her room and talked on the phone until B.J. finally got her to come to the table to eat. Such lovely manners and she's the one who's supposed to be the bright one. Yeah right. Zach was great as usual. But the poor little guy got shy when it was his turn to say a small prayer. He got over it by having a tantrum at the table. Minnie kept calling him a brat while he's crying in his room. Bitch don't you know when you diss your own kid, karma brings back a strand of body hair that you lasered off. He wouldn't of choked if you had helped him memorize something or anything for that matter. She was just snarky the entire time. Being bitter is never an accessory that is in style. No matter if there's a Tiffany bow on it. She really cemented her feelings when I told what I was planning for next year. "That really won't matter because we won't be here next year" snarked Minnie. Keep in mind that the heffa had no problem eating the cream of chicken soup from scratch, turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy that were all cooked by my father.

As for this year, I was glad that I had another year where mom and pop were around to share the holiday. Zach and I had fun by wearing silver bowls on our heads. Hey don't knock it, if you haven't tried it. This will probably be one of the last times we will get to do goofy stuff like that.

Earlier last week, Zach and I went to see Casino Royale. Whoever was in charge of the opening graphics deserves some kind of Oscar for that. Overall I'd give it 2.5 out of 4 stars.

I have to give a shout out to the protesters outside of Macy's on Black Friday. You go people!!! There has been a drop in sales over there. Gee I wonder why.

I'll post back when exams are over for the semester. Egad where has the time gone.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

You're Dangerous, 'Cause You're Honest.

Ever just have one of those days when you're caught off guard? All I wanted to do was meet with the advisor and talk about next semester's classes. This is what happens when you blow off orientation. Nice touch. While I'm in Mr. Tribe's office I asked more question than he could answer. He's new to his job. As one classmate said, "no one wants to see him get fired because he's getting acclimated". Point taken. I mention that I plan to email Dr. Peace about a class sequence. Mr. Tribe says, "Let's go to her office it's just down the hall." It's days like that I wish I didn't have diarrhea of the mouth. Well, today it's down at the other end so hopefully the fun will end soon.

I was just stunned. I was a total deer in headlights. She just intimidated the heck out of me. Then my flood of the mouth still continued. But the more that I talked to her, the less afraid I became. She's totally awesome. I can understand her way on things much better after this chat. The prophecy did come true though. I choked on the first quiz. I cannot afford to fail. It's going to be another late night with Dr. Pepper and Little Debbie to get me through.

The one thing that keeps getting repeated to me whenever I go to see a professor or professional on campus, "I want to help to see you succed." I'm not used to the positive self-esteemness. It's not that other professors weren't positive influences. It's just that it feels like it's been so long that someone was in my corner cheering me on. I like the feeling.

Shopping with Fred is three hour long grudge match. At one point, he totallly flipped out because I was going to crush the paper napkins in the trunk. Unless paper napkins are on the endangered species list at PETA I didn't see what the big woo was about. He ran into some of his buddies and chatted it up. If anyone has a need for olive oil just let me know. Next year, I'm buying him a olive tree to avoid the middleman.



In other news, hi Hollywood I hope you enjoyed reading my blog.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

You'll be okay, Follow Your Heart

Wow, I had forgotten how long it had been since I've updated this blog. So much has been going on that I have no idea where the time goes. No sooner than Fred is on the mend, Ethel falls down the stairs, hits her head and breaks her arm in two places. She refused to be taken to the hospital for a day. The next morning as I'm about to leave for class she decides she wants to the emergency room. I made the mistake of telling to call B.J. for ride since I had to go. On the way to campus, my cell phone goes off. B.J. calls to say he left a message on my voice mail and proceeds to give a 20 minute lecture about how certainly couldn't take our mother to the hospital. He was fit to be tied. After I came back from class, I took Ethel to the emergency room. Before we left I made sure both of us had a book to read, I was not about to become responsible for entertaining her while we had to wait our turn. The er experience was hilarious. The staff totally recognized me from the last time I was there. This time I was totally cool about the whole thing. I was telling them to take their time since I had a book to read. Au contraire. They take Ethel immediately to x-ray where they confirmed what we all had suspected. The entire staff was very attentive to Ethel. It was kinda cute. Thank you Nurse S. for getting us food. It was the best tasting turkey sandwich and apple juice that I 've had ever. Then seven hours later we were finally sprung. With copies of x-rays and after a stop at the late night Jewel to fill a prescription for Vicodin we were headed home. There have been times where their demands are taxing but I'm just taking in stride. Very zen way to be.

Can I just say grad school is totally kicking my ass. I am rising to the challenge and will fight tooth and nail to keep a stellar gpa. I was chatting with a classmate after class. We reminisced about the undergrad days where you took turns with your friends to attend class to take notes and showing up to class with a hangover from the night before. I feel that I'm exactly where I need to be for me. So if I'm not posting as often as I used to, please understand that until finals are over next month. Things might be quiet at my little spot on the interweb.

There's even slight dating news to report. I had a cyberdate last week. It was four hours of fun. Long-distance Louie joked how he was going to be a zombie the next day. I bombed the quiz I had that day. So we're even.

In retail humor, there's a certain cosmetics company that's selling a Christmas nightlight. However if you don't read the fine print, you'll swear you're looking at a Christmas dildo. It's the first thing I thought when I saw the picture. While I'm on the holiday subject I'll give my nickel spin on a bone of contention.

Hey retailers and radio stations,

Christmas is December 25. Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving. When you do the math, it makes no sense to start Christmas ads AND Christmas music playing November 1. I almost left my groceries in the middle of the store and walked out the music was getting on my last nerve. I feel sorry for anyone who has to work in a store where the "holiday station" is on during business hours. While I'm at it, the idea to open stores on Thanksgiving night for a "midnight madness" sales sucks big donkey balls. It's obvious that the marketing and advertising geniuses who came up with this strategy aren't the ones who'll have to work that night. I'm all for getting a good deal don't get me wrong but not at the cost of my sanity. I doubt you'll be getting much customer service from the sales people who were ripped away from their Thanksgiving tables so they can sell you something that will most likely get exchanged the day after. I'd like to see the CEO, CFO, and other grand poohbahs in the retail sector give up their serving of pumpkin pie and work a holiday shift. I doubt they could handle it.

I can't believe Thanksgiving is in three weeks. Bears, I'm sorry for the loss. It'll keep you humble and make you motivated for next week.