Modern Day Spinster

The expected definition of a spinster is to just be a single and never married woman. If it were only that simple. I am a daughter, sister, auntie, friend, babysitter, alumna, artist, writer, diva, comedienne, bitch, caregiver, confidante, adviser, stylist, cheerleader, singer, dancer, activist, referee, sinner, saint, lover and occassional dater. Watch as I try to balance multiple spinning plates of relationships, responsibiilities, and reactions to life.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Where Do We Go From Here?

With the way the rain was pounding down tonight I was expecting to see a unicorn with a sign saying "Noah's Ark or Bust". The weather worked to my advantage. But that's one of the few things that went well.

Dear Medicare Drug Plan,

WTF is the deal with your start date? I told the pharmacy to hook me up with enough for Ethel so she could slide into the transition. Joe TechHead actually had to look at his freakin' cell phone to figure out that he did the math wrong. Before your genius drug plan, we used to be able to catch a freebie of one or two pills. No we were not mooches unlike some others I could easily mention. But now everything has to be ubermeticulous. I'm surprised I didn't have to drag Fred from his sickbed to pick his medicine.

Yeah, Fred having the flu and Ethel having a magic number of 130 have been keeping me hopping. When I have to make appointments like this, I wonder again wth will happen when I reenter the work force. It's not a question of how but now just a matter of time. There's a huge possibility that the summer school class is out because I just checked my calendar for appointments.

From what I remember, instructors are usually very strict as to the amount of class that you can miss. I understand it's to keep order, etc.. but here's the thing. If my ass is paying for my seat, regardless of whether I show up or not I shouldn't be penalized if I can do the work. I don't know I'm just really confused as to what my options are at this point. Just when I think I'm in the clear, it's as if someone says, "Oh, you thought you were getting a mulligan. No I don't think so."

Minnie was all a twitter because her idol Jennifer Aniston was in town. No doubt one of her buddies was out on Southport screaming at the actress.With the right amount of slapstick perhaps the film will generate some cash. But the premise of the film has been done before. All you have to do is step in the way back machine and go to a film called,"War Of The Roses". Most likely Ebert and Roeper will give it a glowing review since Vaughn is of a Lake Forest address. Although not a true Chicagoan since he's originally from Minnesota but I digress. Everyone came from somewhere. Vinnie looked kinda hungover on the newsclips. Aniston wearing sunglasses in the private skybox where there was no sun was another possible tipoff of too much hooch.

It irked me the way the Governor just slapped sugar all over the place. Oh gag me. It's not like we don't have enough problems in this state. Hanging out at The Musicbox should not be on your list of priorities. I'd like to know how much of the taxpayer dollars were spent on this movie debut. I cringe to do the math myself.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Before The Sun Rises

I was up at 3:30am. Why, for no reason of course! Because of my spidey senses I thought someone died or worse. But according to all sources all is well. This is a nice change from the usual crap that's heaped on my plate. I was productive though. I read Resume for Dummies. After two hours I was able to doze off until I heard Fred's booming voice wake me up.

So far so good in getting organized and questions were answered on some items. I enjoy the fact that there are no prerequisites to a class I may take this summer if potential paycheck job doesn't come through. Appointments were made and attended to on time. Meetings schedules and attended properly. Some of my ideas went over well. Some other hit the skids. My challenge is trying to keep pace with my brain. I have all of these ideas coming out and sometimes the delivery just doesn't work. I was apologizing all over the place for no reason. In time I'll learn my place and be more comfortable in my skin.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Who's The Cat Who Won't Cop Out

To 8am neighbor,

WITW were you thinking to mow the lawn this early? Thankfully, I was up before the noise from your obnoxious motor hit the skies. You do as you wish but someone somewhere is having one heck of a time with a hangover with your mower as the refrain from a night filled with spirits.

No it's not me. I spent my time cross-stitching a new project and watching Shaft. Yes, as in Issac Hayes and seventies guitar music. I wonder if this film linked in the blackploitation genre? I liked it. It was really impressive that the sex scene was alluded to by using graphics and music as opposed to the show me now attitude of today. Don't get me wrong there's a time and a place for porn-friendly cinema if that's your bag. However, in certain films it's not necessary and ruins the tone of the original author's intent. How many books have you read where the author's writes in parathesis cue the boom chicka wah wah music for effect?

Out of the box for me is I began my day with morning prayers.Today's Psalm reminded me not judge things as you seem them to be without investigation. Real life happens to everyone and keeps people from keeping in touch. I've been just as guilty as the next person. It just stinks when the timing is off. FWIW I wish my friend well in her new dating relationship. Probably time for me to make room for one of my own.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Got A Ticket For My Destination

Wowie easy readers! The resumes and cover letters are going to their respective places as we speak. Laundry has been done. For the past two days, I've felt drained and couldn't figure out why. Part of me felt bad because I tried to reach out to certain people and they couldn't be there for me. It's okay. They have their own lives to lead and I wish them well.

Coffee was my major food group. I still feel tired anyway.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Let It Shine

Yippee!!! I've got to praise HIM. Ethel can have a reverse colostomy. It means no more bags, no more paste, and bowel movements like the human race. In honor of this happy news we went to a garden center to get our dose of flowers. Wow it's like Mother Nature just dropped a whole bunch of beauty in the middle of urban sprawl. Ethel is totally in her element.

The natives are friendly. It was great to watch to random strangers commiserate about what to plant as a border around their respective homes. I was surprised to see the number of flowers that were in a section marked sold and waiting for pickup.
I saw some gorgeous trees that I would have loved to have taken with me. It's a times like these that I wish I had a SUV. But I'm happy with the newest addition to my plant family. It's an early birthday gift from Ethel. Yes a magic number is coming up for me. For some reason I don't have the gloom and doom that usually comes with aging. Most likely I will be spending my day volunteering somewhere. It's a great way to celebrate life and be private about it.

When did Wednesday night TV begin to suck so bad? Or has this always been the case?
Here's a ironic moment. While I was watching Kinsey, I was attaching chapter tabs to my Bible.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Smile On Your Brother

Easy readers I'm asking that you pray hard for B.J and Zach. Something is going very awry that I can't go into detail as to why because I know that one of the members of the coven has in fact been reading this blog.

I'd say hi but unlike you and the rest of your poser family I wasn't trained on how to give out empty and shallow compliments and mean it with the sincerity of a saint. Be aware the wagons are in a circle. I may not have the monetary resources or the proper connections as all of you do. But I do have the power of a righteous God. No one thought David could beat Goliath either and we all know how that story turned out. So put that in your cauldron and brew it up bitch!!!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

These Three Words

Happy Mother's Day!!!

I was all set to take Ethel to church complete with corsage. She didn't feel well. B.J. said the flu bug is going around and Zach has it bad. We had plans to make a card for Ethel that went down the toity. I picked Hallmarks for Fred and myself to give to her.

Today's title comes from a song by Stevie Wonder. Courtesy of WGCI and Effie Rolfe. The first time I heard it I weeped hard. It was then I knew this song would be played at my reception someday. It serves as a reminder to say it often to those you love because sometimes we do take others for granted. Admit it, we've all done it.

This afternoon's matinee was "The Poseidon". Yes I know I blasted it but B.J. wanted to go see it. Streets of Woodfield Theaters are the bomb diggity. Comfy seats and still has the new fresh smell. The best part about this movie was it was kiddie free. Finally! Althought the script was tweaked, it wasn't that bad. I'd rather see Josh Lucas than Shelly Winters swimming any day. I understand now why B.J. wanted to see it on the big screen. A film like this can only be appreciated on a IMAX size screen. If someone sees this on a Plasma TV or a smaller set, the director's perspective is lost.

After B.J. left, I gave Ethel her cards. She was unimpressed to say the least. "I don't see what the big deal is, all you did was sign your name." Okayyyyy. Yeah that's my mom. It hurt my feelings. I didn't lash out as so much was disappointed in her reaction. Not that I was expecting a parade but just a simple thank you. Someone better than I has said the following. You can't change people's reactions, only your reactions to people. That's what I intend to do. Even Fred pointed out how mean she was to me. Her false attempt at apology hurt more than the initial dig. It's such a Minnie move. Oh well.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Don't Hang Up

The weather was rainy, gray, and gloomy. I loved it. It does sound very Addams Family. But before the driving fun could begin Ethel decides to share with me the sex life information of certain relatives. All I wanted to do afterwards was stick my fingers in my ears and scream "la la la la I can't hear you". It just creeped me out. Don't ask don't tell is my motto for that kind of stuff.

I had a great session. KT confirmed that my plans were valid and my collections were okay. I can even put up the new clock in the kitchen. I feel I'm in a good place at the moment. Things are finally looking up.

I'm so grateful to God for all of his blessings that he's bestowed upon me. Ethel and I will be attending the local parish this Sunday. I stepped out of my comfort zone and did some things that were good for me.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

North, East, West, South, Living In The Same House

Is anyone else having as much fun as I am choosing a Medicare Prescription Drug Plan for their parents? Due to each thinking the other sibling had it taken care of, I drew the short stick. OMG who did Medicare pick to determine which pharmacies are within your radius? Even Mapquest couldn't have screwed up as badly as they did on this one. The name game on drugs and the ookabillion programs available are ridiculous. I don't blame the elderly who are saying "Bullocks is the name of my prescription drug plan!". Unfreakinbelievable. At least I'm out of the woods with the virus. There's still a hint of Kathleen Turner in my voice but I hope it will fade away quickly.

I'm making progress on the "Hey Crap Tour". All I wanted to do was sleep yesterday and I forced myself to stay awake.Three and a half bags gone. If only weight loss were that easy. Apparently Conan O'Brien is in town filming at the Chicago Theater. I hope you enjoy your stay while you're in town. The ex who's a tech guy is probably doing the union work there. As for my job prospects things are looking up, spinning things so it's a pretty and neat package is a struggle but I'll get there in babysteps.

I don't see what the big woo is about David Blaine or the fat guy walking across country. So he can hold his breath so can any toddler who decides to throw a tantrum in public. As for him being submerged underwater, he did have high tech help. Houdini would have never used a catheter. Or would he? The fat man walking lost weight because he walked it off. The point being what? He left a wife and two young children behind. If this is his way to deal with a mid-life crisis so be it.

One of the many upsides of clearing out the clutter is feeling the way the chi of different rooms feels. Yes I'm having a very Healing Earth moment. I don't know how else to describe it.

Life outlook is good.I'm having some Ashley Simpson acid reflux but I don't think it will effect my singing. Nick Lachey is sporting the tacky lounge singer act a little to early. Dude you should have married someone who was in your age range if you wanted a keeper.

In other easy reader news,I volunteered for a subcommittee position which might turn into something bigger.

Friday, May 05, 2006

When Things Go Wrong Don't Give Up

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!

I'm home nursing the spring virus that has racked my throat. I woke up this morning and was hoarse. As the day went on my voice improved but it took 50 paces back tonight. I watched Zach's class pageant at the Tiny Tot School. The woman who sat ahead of me was a ecological hazard. She had put so much shellaque er hairspray in her hair that myself, who had the lucky spot of being directly in ground zero ozone hell, and people three rows behind got a second hand high. Next time I'm bringing a mini can of Febreeze. Then it's go time grannie. I was tearing up until intermission. When it was over I was losing my voice all over again. By the time I left B.J. and Minnie's my voice was shot.

Minnie's mom was in town for the Tiny Tot Showcase. She is such a pistol. Minnie was on her best behavior. It must have been a real struggle for her to be nice to me. Suprisingly Minnie was almost friendly to me. As well, I was annoyed that she wasn't recognized for her hard work in the parents association. But when I came home that's when the paranoia kicked in.

I wasn't going to mention anything but it's always a good idea to leave a record behind when you're concerned about your safety. Today I had another run-in with the n'er do wells. I really could have done without the panic attack that followed later. But I was able to take a step back and refocus my energy toward something else. When I left this afternoon, I could have sworn that I had closed all of the windows before I left. Since I didn't bring my jacket with the hood, I knew there was a possibility of rain. Tonight when I got back, my bedroom window was wide open. Everything pretty much looks intact. But still I don't need the worry. Goddamn. It's not like I don't have enough on my plate. Just the same, there's shopping for a safety items.

However I'm being proactive. I think for my birthday instead of getting a hydrangea plant or a tattoo, I'll take some self-defense classes.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

It's a Dead Man's Party

For all those who like to interpret dreams this one's for you. Apparently last night, dead relatives came to me in my dreams and decided it was time to tell me some things. I have always been spiritual connected that way. I've never been comfortable with it. But some of the bombshells that were dropped on me just freaked the living shit out of me. The bizarre part was when there were planes flying overhead they cut off transmission at certain times with said relatives. I won't reveal all but there are some doozies. Ready. Here I go.

The first person was Grampa BJ. It was as if he had diarrhea of the mouth. The condensed version is that I need to get a passport. Mr. FabulousMagnetism is on his way. I need to haul ass and get ready. He told me the number of children I would have with this man. I was stunned. It's not a Michelle Duggar number but enough to keep anyone busy. He mentioned that the path I'm on is a good one. Later I thought, "A hint as to which path, would have been nice". He wanted me to try and reconcile with Fred on his behalf. Some stuff went on between them.

Fred was stunned into shock when B.J. told him. Yes Easy Readers, B.J. dropped the bomb on him. How did he know did you say? Ethel. I made the mistake of telling Ethel on the way to her doctor's appointment. At said appointment I had a moment of humility. As that old saying goes, telephone, telagraph, or tellEthel. I told her not to say anything but that went out the window.

As well Grandpa mentioned make sure to ask about the house. Later,B.J. informs Ethel that he has a possible gig on the West Coast. She was not too happy about that.

Next relative up to visit was my late Aunt. She told me to tell B.J. to check on her son because something is up. As for me she was pissed that I hadn't finished putting things together in my life. Like having Ethel and B.J. isn't enough I have to have extra coaching from the beyond. Oh well if it helps me get to the next level, I take it.

Zach woke me a 3ish in the am.Not good for a lady who's used to uninterrupted sleep.