I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself

It's around 3am and I have insomnia big time. Last night the upstairs neighor's child was sick and crying loud at 3:30 a.m. and didn't stop until 6:30a.m., that slowed my game plan somewhat. Nothing like interrupted sleeping patterns.

I spent yesterday catching the last day of My Sister's Closet sale. Don't fret if you missed it. The next big sale is February 5th which is Superbowl Sunday. I went to a big box store on Elston to return a universal remote which is neither universal nor working as a remote. The line wasn't that bad about a 15 minute wait. I should have known better than to try to return something on a Sunday. What really shocked me was the number of people that had gaggles of children with them in line. I just couldn't figure out how they could have 4 or 5 kids. They were all wild too. I tell you this if B.J. or I had pulled any of that crap in public Ethel would have handled us with spankings in public and at home later.

I truly enjoyed Grey's Anatomy last night. Yes Patrick Dempsey is hottie but he always has been to me. I appreciated the way the program was structured because there were some sections that were unclear to me before. It helps to have the blanks filled in.

I took a shower because I have something going on in the morning. I don't know if this happens to anyone else but I had a burst of ideas while I was in the shower. I know there's pens that write underwater and I could have used one. I tried to hold on to the zone moment but instead I became more anxious.

After my shower I went ahead and wrote out my list of improvements for 2006 and beyond. There were a quite a few but my mind is not in the hand eye coordinating mode to look at my notebook.

From the looks of things easy readers pop in from time to time. I appreciate the thought. However I think it's creepy to have my blog come up if you do a search under anorexic mineral oil. After I've had my coffee, I'll probably think it's funny. Here's the deal dude, if Zach even sees a bottle of that stuff in the store he cringes like most men would when they see a guy get kicked in the balls, please find another way to get thin. Mineral oil will help you stay thin.

The reason I haven't posted is because some things went down last week and got real ugly. I had some things in draft that I didn't publish before it happened. At this point there's a truce of sorts. I may or may not post it.

I thought if I denied myself writing and making myself get other things done I'd see this as a reward. Big mistake. Writing for me is like breathing. When I get my painting area set up I'll be back on track.

I have this tendency to push people away and things that I like to do. It's not so much self-sabotage as it is protecting myself. I've totally screwed up recent opportunities because I was scared to death to start. As an artist I think everything I create is total shit. I'm always going back and overanalyzing when I should just let it be.