Look for the silver lining

Despite the gray day weather, with the blowing wind, sleet, and dropping temperature, I felt sunshine all around me. I'm going to cherish little victories. I made my list, planned my work, and worked my plan. There were no interruptions. Of any kind. I thought for sure that the old adage of when you make plans God laughs. Scroll down a bit for the laughter part.

I completed all of my errands that were postponed by circumstance or my ADHD. I found a new bar and a new restaurant that I hadn't noticed before. I was so excited at my discoveries. You have no idea how rare this is for me.

I had time to stop in one of my favorite vintage shops. I found this heart shaped stitched sampler. I thought it was absolutely beautiful but didn't how it was framed. In a previous life as a custom framer I would not have framed it in this fashion. My critical eye began to create options for presentation in my head. I made the mistake of looking at the back. I wanted to see if it was stretched properly vs. just slapped on a board because the over time the acidic content of the paper would cause damage. Well I lifted a corner of the butcher paper to peek and *PHOOM* this backdraft of dust hits me in the face. This reaction causes me to drop the piece and *KABOOM* the frame is in pieces on the floor. I was absolutely mortified. I never had that happen to me as a customer. I felt bad about it. The only right thing to do was to follow my own retail credo. If you break it, you buy it. Luckily it was only two dollars and the manager only charged me a one. What a gracious lady.

In domestic news, my remote is shot to hell. You know it's time to get a new one when the exposed wires that you've connected to the new batteries start to smoke. The TV in question is four years old. A universal remote does not work with this set. I've tried and returned two already. I called the company. It would cost me sixteen dollars for a new one.

The result was the following retail situation. I decided to go to the local BestBuy (yes I'm naming names so bite me) because that's where I got the set in the first place. When I was greeted I asked where I would find the remotes, I was directed to the "home theater section". There were manclerks in the section. Not a one approached me to ask I needed help. Just another case of SWF,shopping while fat. I don't know how they could of missed me. It wasn't like there was a rush of people yelling, "Oooh, I need to run up my credit card some more so I can get a Plasma TV to watch the Bears kick some Panther ass this weekend". So I went my merry way and picked up the spyware remover that I so desperately needed. When I was waiting in line at the checkout, another cashier approached me because she was free. K. asked me if I had found everything okay. I explained how I couldn't find a remote. She gushed about a universal remote that the store carried that worked on a family member's Zenith TV. Now that's old school. She literally walked me back to the department and found that remote for me. Granted it was out my price range but she alone completely turned it around for. I hardly ever shop there because the customer service for this location is such a crap shoot. It's like a guy you're dating who you know is a total asshole but there are times when he shows his good side so that's why you keep dating him. I'm calling corporate on Monday to let them know what a great person she is.

RIP Lord & Taylor is hitting the skids. I say good riddance. Reason being, eons ago I was out of work and desperate for a job. I interviewed for a sales gig at Water Tower. Believe me when I say I was more than qualified for the job. Miss SnootyMcTribe,meaning she is of my same ethnic background and not a dig against anyone, had the audacity to give me the following reason for not hiring me and it's stuck with me for some reason. "You don't have the sparkle. I'm looking for someone who can sprinkle fairy dust and you don't have it." Shit, if you want fairy dust I suggest you look to the roadshow of "Peter Pan". When you are pounding the pavement in frustration, freaking out inside about how you're going to pay rent, and wondering how bad could it be to practice the world's oldest profession for one day, the last thing you have in your kit bag is Merry Freakin' Pixie Dust. A person has to say seven good things to a person to erase the ONE bad thing they've said to him/her. I'm sure she's gotten what karma deemed as necessary.

I finally got around to emptying Johnny Cash of the crap left behind by Joe Burglar and Joe MethHead. The other day I got a call that they had a match on the fingerprints that were taken on the day of the robbery. I'm taking their stuff and donating it as soon it's been washed. While I was going through their stuff, I found a note. On it was scrawled a prisoner number, a court date, and the phone number to Cook County Jail. Just touching it gave me the creeps.

May better days be ahead. Amen.