Waited By The House Of Fun
-or why my morning was like a sitcom.
I woke this morning at 7:30 a.m. I had my daily dose of "Designing Women" with my morning cup of coffee. I must give a big who gives a shit to "Cheerleader Nation". Lifetime please note that the last thing a grown woman wants to see is a bunch of stage mothers and overbearing parents with their daughters perpetuating stereotypes that early in the morning.
I tried to take a shower but it wasn't easy.
(Attempt #1) Ethel knocks to say she needs me to change her colostomy bag so that didn't happen. I mention I'm going to take a shower and to hold all junior emergencies until I step out.
(Attempt#2) Fred knocks and is in a total fit because it was supposedly my responsibility to pick up paperwork from the bank. This is paperwork he said he wanted to handle himself. I explain that I need to take a shower and will be more than happy to handle it after my appointment today.
(Attempt #3) Ethel knocks on the door to let me know B.J. is coming over because he wants she and Fred to come over because Coven and Co. are in town. I was supposed to babysit. So I called Minnie to doublecheck if I'm still needed. This past Monday and Tuesday visits to see Zach were cancelled because the brooms crossed international airspace.
(Attempt #4)Peace in the valley,I'm just about to turn on the water when the phone rings. I almost injure myself trying to get to the phone which of course I didn't get to in time. Guess who easy readers? Message was "Gee I forgot about that". My services were no longer needed. It really curdles my cream when Minnie pulls this bullshit with me. She plans her days out the wazoo but finds it totally acceptable to treat me like Lastminute Lucy. It's not like she doesn't know when the coven comes to town. They're such pennypinching old crabs they plan way in advance for cheap tickets. Not to confuse them with being a cheap trick. But I digress.
(Attempt #5)Finally in the tub, naked, and the phone rings. This time it's a good phone call. I called to make a appointment with a clinic last week. They said they'd get back to me as soon as they could. That was today. I answered the usual questions. My slot is sometime next week. When admin asked me about my marital status I almost answered spinster.
By the time I finally hit the shower it was noon.
I had just enough time to eat lunch and go to my appointment. She was running 15 minutes late which threw my schedule off. But I don't mind because she does such a good job and is so nice. She made an interesting point about what was going on with me. They wouldn't be so disrespectful of my time if what I did involved a W-2 form. By the time I leave there and head to the special grocery store to pick up food for Ethel I get home about five o'clock. Every hybrid car driver I encountered on the road was a total jackass. I'm glad you're eco-friendly but it doesn't give you special dispensation to ignore the rules of the road.
I woke this morning at 7:30 a.m. I had my daily dose of "Designing Women" with my morning cup of coffee. I must give a big who gives a shit to "Cheerleader Nation". Lifetime please note that the last thing a grown woman wants to see is a bunch of stage mothers and overbearing parents with their daughters perpetuating stereotypes that early in the morning.
I tried to take a shower but it wasn't easy.
(Attempt #1) Ethel knocks to say she needs me to change her colostomy bag so that didn't happen. I mention I'm going to take a shower and to hold all junior emergencies until I step out.
(Attempt#2) Fred knocks and is in a total fit because it was supposedly my responsibility to pick up paperwork from the bank. This is paperwork he said he wanted to handle himself. I explain that I need to take a shower and will be more than happy to handle it after my appointment today.
(Attempt #3) Ethel knocks on the door to let me know B.J. is coming over because he wants she and Fred to come over because Coven and Co. are in town. I was supposed to babysit. So I called Minnie to doublecheck if I'm still needed. This past Monday and Tuesday visits to see Zach were cancelled because the brooms crossed international airspace.
(Attempt #4)Peace in the valley,I'm just about to turn on the water when the phone rings. I almost injure myself trying to get to the phone which of course I didn't get to in time. Guess who easy readers? Message was "Gee I forgot about that". My services were no longer needed. It really curdles my cream when Minnie pulls this bullshit with me. She plans her days out the wazoo but finds it totally acceptable to treat me like Lastminute Lucy. It's not like she doesn't know when the coven comes to town. They're such pennypinching old crabs they plan way in advance for cheap tickets. Not to confuse them with being a cheap trick. But I digress.
(Attempt #5)Finally in the tub, naked, and the phone rings. This time it's a good phone call. I called to make a appointment with a clinic last week. They said they'd get back to me as soon as they could. That was today. I answered the usual questions. My slot is sometime next week. When admin asked me about my marital status I almost answered spinster.
By the time I finally hit the shower it was noon.
I had just enough time to eat lunch and go to my appointment. She was running 15 minutes late which threw my schedule off. But I don't mind because she does such a good job and is so nice. She made an interesting point about what was going on with me. They wouldn't be so disrespectful of my time if what I did involved a W-2 form. By the time I leave there and head to the special grocery store to pick up food for Ethel I get home about five o'clock. Every hybrid car driver I encountered on the road was a total jackass. I'm glad you're eco-friendly but it doesn't give you special dispensation to ignore the rules of the road.
posted by Starla Spaulding @ 6:33 PM
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