Don't Patronize

Jeez I watch one movie and I turn into Sniffling Sadie. It wasn't the type of crying where you're blubbering and your body is shaking. This was totally different at least for me anyway. After the film was over, I just started getting my breath back. With every inhale and exhale, my tears just flowed out. It felt very cathartic. It's seeing films like this that remind me that there are good guys out there and not all complete asshats.

I've been quite productive on the the "Hey I have too much crap" Tour 2006. I packed up 6 bags full of stuff that I could care less if I ever saw again. Having emotional attachment to things can really mess with your mind. Some memories are good but others just bring you pain. There's no logical reason to sit with shit that just makes me relive things over and over. There's no benefit in the big picture.

In other adventures of clarity, Minnie has been super nice to me lately. Frankly, it's creeping the hell out of me. I liked it better when it was just a silently mutually agreed hate-hate relationship. She put on quite a show when one of her "friends" came over the other day. Minnie hugged me in front of her. Dollars to donuts if her friend wasn't there, I fucking guarantee that little scene wouldn't of happened. Her friend's adopted daughter has quite the attitude.We all sat down to dinner. I put two tablespoons of white rice on my plate. That little snot point blank says ,"You shouldn't take so much." Inside I was fuming. I thought,"WTF?? Who the hell are you? You little shit." Had it been a teenager or older I would have totally gone off. Her mom apologized profusely but I was hurt just the same.

Oprah had a episode where some mom thought it was perfectly acceptable to allow her toddler daughter to view Victoria's Secret catalogs and other beauty magazines. Now the three year old has a negative self image complex. That wouldn't of happened if she had MS, Bitch, and Bust on her coffee table. Meryl was quite impressed with my patience with her daughter and Zach. She must have lit quite a fire under Minnie because this morning there was a message from her on the cell. I wonder how other people deal with empty compliments. It just smells so obviously like bullshit. Her mood is most likely on the upswing since I'm taking care of some things for her.

The family function went off without a hitch. Fred even got ahold of one of his brother's from the Motherland. They chatted for over a hour. It gave me time to help pick out Ethel's outfit. She just didn't plan it this year. It really surprised me because she usually does these things way in advance. In a one small step for me, one giant leap for the bullied kids. I stood up for myself. One particular cousin likes to tease me about something I did when I was oh twelve and he still got his kicks from it. At the family event he tried to bring it up yet again. He said "Don't you remember what you used to say?" I said,"I'm lucky if I can find a pair of matching socks. You expect me to remember something that I said when I was twelve?" I have no clue whether it was my tone, body language or facial expression that shut him up pretty damn fast.

During the dessert hour, Zach met his other cousins. He got jealous because they were getting the attention from the extended family. He decides to hide behind the bar. I tried talking to him about it. He complained that he wanted to be with his friends. I told him he needed to learn to get along because they are his cousins. He said, "I'll learn how to get along better with them tomorrow". Overall he had fun. Frick and Frack were adorable.

But no family function wouldn't be complete with a couple of jabs from those who supposedly love me. This years pearls of wisdom. "Isn't it funny how some kids gravitate toward people?" Frick and Frack don't see me as often as Zach does so it makes sense that they don't know me. They made a total beeline to Minnie because they saw her playing with her son. In their eyes,they know that she's trustworthy because she's a mommy. Minnie just ate up all of Blank's comments. Oh gag me with a big spoon please. DP and one of the Starla's are dating but keeping it on the downlow. Those type of conversations were avoided so not to jinx their chances. I wonder which of them will get down the aisle first. Minnie was insistent on wanting to pinpoint babysitting dates.

DP snidely said,"Gee I wish I had the free time to babysit".Oh bugger off bitch. Your life is so hard. Gee I wish my parents would buy me a condo in Lincoln Park, furnish it with brand new everything and a fully loaded SUV of my choice. Quit complaining that you didn't get the job you wanted. With the job market being what it is, Trixie-type jobs are hard to get. You'll upgrade when you can stab someone in the back. After all you can rely on Minnie to do your homework for you forever.

I forgot to mention.I totally went all out on Zach's "Easter Bunny" basket. Too overboard I'm afraid. I'm well stocked for plastic eggs and plastic grass for next year. I'll be so relieved when East and West are on the same page next year.

I really would have liked to have gone out tonight but I feel that I would better spend my time just heading it up and moving it out.