Words Can Bring Me Down

Yeah I feel like shit. I'm still trying to shake off the rejection of the dream job of the moment. I took it really bad. Two of hours of my day were spent crying. It was the kind of crying that involved my nose. At one point my sinuses just closed up out of sympathy. It helped to slam a couple of door and get angry at the way it ended. You know it would have been better if I had gotten the call on Friday as opposed to Monday. It through my schedule completely off base. It was vanilla ice cream and peanut butter cookies to the rescue.

And in true Monday quarterback fashion Ethel uttered the words that have peppered my memory whenever I experience failure. "I knew you weren't going to get it. I had a dream the night before your interview about it." Goddamn. I can only imagine what it's like to a have a mom be in your corner. She's always been like this when I wanted something for myself that threatened her little world. Screw that. I don't care if I have to carry both of them all over campus. I'm getting myself into graduate school. I'll just have to raise the money another way. I know she said that they'll keep it on file bah ta dah and bah ta dah It's tough to believe in the good of God's work when things don't go your way. In short it sucked to be me big time.

The hardest part of yesterday was dragging myself into the bathroom to get myself ready for the evening events. The last place I wanted to be was somewhere where people were talking about their accomplishments. It was tough but I got through it. I was so drained when I got home. At least I was able to sleep through the night somewhat. I couldn't get ahold of anyone to vent but it's better that way. There's no need to rain on anyone else's parade.Hopefully, I can shake the shit off and be more productive and focused toward other goals.