A Little Out Of Tune And A Little Off Key

Wow, according to blogger I've hit the sesquicentennial mark on the number of posts. I wish I could say that life has totally changed but in many ways it's stayed the same. So back to a usual modern day post.

Hey Lifetime! What's the big idea with rescheduling Designing Women off the early morning timeslot? I admire Fran Drescher. I really do mean it. After all she's a ovarian cancer survivor like Ethel. It's just that I really don't need further proof that my life resembles Fran Fine in more ways than one. This past weekend was enough of a reality check for me.

Yes, Easy Readers that means Aunt Imogene came by for a visit and read me the riot act again on my spinsterhood. Apparently someone has tipped her off to internet dating and believes that this will solve my singleness. Certain days when I chat with her, I feel like telling her the raw truth about who and what is out there just to freak her out and shut her up but all that will do is sail through the family grapevine and bite me in the ass. At least I was able to say that I had a date last month. She asked me why it didn't work out. Here's where I'd like some input.

Aunt Imogene thinks I need to go back to The Rules tactics of lying about me and my circumstances. Keep in mind that the authors are both divorced and probably the cause of several hundreds divorces. Yes, I know at first meet and greet it's supposed to be all friendly and kinda fakey. But what happens when dateman starts to list his flaws and dealbreakers even before said date. Am I supposed to counter his move or stay silent? It was so obvious that he wasn't into me. Even me, miss-most-likely-not-to-catch-a-dating-signal figured it out really quick. He was polite but he wasn't all that either. If you've only attended one year of college that doesn't make you a college graduate. Ray Charles's mama said it best,"Scratch a liar. Find a thief." Which date number do you show your true self?

Then the conversation turned to me and planning for funerals. Apparently I need to start from now to find a burial plot for one. I asked her if she had her casket all picked out. She described the oak number that was to be her final napsite. I ticked her off when I mentioned the deal that Costco had on caskets.