Please, Mr. Postman
Actually I have to give props to Target. Zach's birthday party was this past weekend and they came through like gangbusters. I wanted to get him Thomas the Tank or Bob the Builder bedding. Well apparently so did everyone else. I couldn't find it any of the stores in the Chicago area. Luckily they had it online and were able to deliver it.
Fred is really testing my patience lately. I wanted to take Ethel to the student salon to get her hair done for the party. I'll explain about the party designation later. I told him that he would have to stay home until we got back because I didn't want to miss the delivery because another attempt wouldn't be made until Monday. He was pouty because he couldn't go to the mall to hang with his buddies. Then he decides that it's time for him to make some home improvements. He knows darn well he's not supposed to do any heavy lifting period. But he could care less. He's lifting this heavy shutter thing to put over a window because it's not good enough to put plastic sheeting. I refused to leave until he finished his job because I didn't want to leave him alone. If anything would have happened to him, the family blame game pointer would have gone to me. One of the many challenges in caregiving your parents is that dividing line to giving their space and wanting to keep them safe.
Of course Ethel was all excited about going to get her hair done so she wanted to leave 8am when they didn't open until 10am. Of course she thought I was taking my time getting ready and was mad at me for taking so long. Luckily just as we had entered the car, I spotted the FedEx guy parking his van. He must have thought I was some kind of nut because I was so excited that one of the packages had arrived on time.
When we get there, I explained to the student stylist how I wanted her hair to look. The girl started using beauty school speak and lost me. I was grateful that one of the instructor's came by and was able to tell her what to do. I told Ethel that I was going to sit in the waiting room to read a book while she was being taken care of. Can I tell you how much I thoroughly enjoyed my free time? It was great. I almost finished the book I was reading. Now I know why "Tuesday's With Morrie" was such a big hit. I was able to gain perspective on some things that had been troubling me. Other comedic humor was provided by 2 students who were speaking in the motherland tongue. They had no idea that I was of the same tribe. I had to bite my tongue to stop giggling at the mini-drama before me. Apparently dye-blond girl was upset that she had brought home made cookies to the holiday party and none were left for her. I wanted to say, "Hello, you should have made back up batch for yourself". They must have been going somewhere swanky because they were wearing three inch heels. Ouch. After I noticed time to by, I went to go see how she was doing. She was finished and said, "What took you so long to come back?" I was like selective hearing strikes again. I know that she AND the student stylist heard me say that I was going to sit and read in the waiting area. I'm unlike Fred, who after dropping off Ethel or myself anywhere misses his designated meeting time by one to two hours. Then she said,"Aren't you going to get your hair done too?". On the way over there, she informs me that she only has enough money for her which I thought was fine because I really didn't need it as I'm going for the Pippi Longstocking look. On the way back we spot Fred driving on our street. I guess he couldn't take it anymore. It was fine because not even five minutes after getting home, UPS lady came back with package no. two. She said I was too happy to be excited about getting a package. I took it in stride.
On Thursday, I took Ethel for a long overdue visit to her oncologist. Preventive medicine and aftercare visits are foreign concepts to Fred and Ethel. It was scarce and in some cases not even on the radar in their respective villages. There must have been some sort of a shakedown with the nurses and office staff because there was no one who I recognized there other than his wife. At least their paperwork is more streamline this time around. The physician assistant who took measured her blood pressure was very arrogant. She tells me" Oh that's very good her bp is 140/36." I was like "Are you kidding me? How can you say that when a normal bp is 120/80?". Even if I hadn't completed that CNA course, the years I've spent watching ER, MASH, Emergency, and Quincy must have seeped some medical knowledge. I must have been the first person to ever make this comment to her. She took the bp again. Idiot.
Then in came Dr. J. and the blame game began. He was upset at me because she blew off her August appointment. He went on to verbally point the finger at me on how it was my fault. I was very proud of myself. I countered back with the following, "If she doesn't want to go to the doctor I can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do. If you have any fresh new ideas to please let me know because I was all out." He didn't expect that so he gently informs me to tell her that she's essentially playing Russian roulette with her life. I wanted to tell him, if he was so concerned that she blew off her appointment, where was the followup letter? When Fred ditched his eye care specialist appointments, that office called with concern. They also sent two letters to him, one from the office staff and the other from the doctor himself. I didn't think it was worth because I know he's been having a tough time as well. It took him awhile to find a replacement for Dr. K., who we lost to the high rates that must be paid for medical liability insurance by doctors. Thank you Gov. B. for not doing anything to drop the rates. He also appreciates when I ask him how he and his family are doing because according to him, I'm the only one who's bothered to ask him about his well-being.The end result is that she has to back in for x-rays.
With regard's to party status, Zach had two parties. One was for him and his buddies in the afternoon where Minnie,Widow Hanna,Binnie,Lynnie, and B.J. were in attendance. For $250.00 you can rent out a "kiddie gym" and everything is done for you. Kids are led through games and activities. The birthday child is king for a day. Party two was the one for just B.J.'s relatives as well as her family. We were only invited to party two. The stressful situation that occurred prior to our arrival was as follows.
Fred offered to order the birthday cake, which he did, and pick it up. He was so proud. He bragged about it all the time prior to the party day. I'm very upset that my concern that his Alzheimer's is kicking in is not being taken seriously. First of all, he was off by a month for the pick up date. No problem, I called and corrected the mistake. I was home pretty much on party day because I needed to find the additional gift of a Bob the Builder dvd/book as well as appropriate wrapping material. One of the upsides of having worked in retail is that I can giftwrap very well. One hour prior to our departure, I'm informed by Fred that I have to go get the cake. I was upset. I wasn't even ready. He had ALL DAY to tell me this. I wouldn't of had a problem picking up at noon. He just sat there very matter of factly. I asked him what was his excuse and he claimed he hurt his back. Okay picking up a cake is not something that will put your back out but I suspected that it was the result of him trying to be Joe Handyman the day before. He expected me to jump to it and I said no. Of course Ethel jumps to his defense saying it's my fault for waiting to giftwrap at the last minute. Um okay?. Last time I checked, you don't need a GED to wrap a gift. It was sitting on her dining room table all day. She could have pitched in but decided her soaps from the motherland took priority. The car drive over to the bakery was ear-splitting with Fred refusing to let me call for directions. I was forced to drive via the yell-at-the-very-last-minute- when I'm supposed to turn and when I missed a street because he told me the wrong one, of course my fault. Finally we get on to the street where the bakery is located. I'm not seeing it and more verbal assaults followed. Ethel insists that I passed it and that I'm just completely stupid so I pulled a U-turn and still couldn't find it. I finally pulled into a hot dog joint. Praise be for cell phones. The bakery man was kind enough to coach me to where I needed to be. There were crude comments about my parking abilities made by Fred. I was so nervous when I got inside. I will be forever grateful to the clerk behind the counter who walked the cake out to the car. Then we got back on track. I decided on the way from the bakery that I was going to put on my happy party face and leave what happened in the past couple of hours behind in the car. I made the same suggestion to Fred and Ethel.
Zach was still the man. He was zipping back and forth he was so excited. Of course he didn't get a nap with all of the action going on in the house. I had a lovely visit with Widow Hanna. She was very surprised as to why we didn't show up to the kiddie party. I put it very bluntly."If we had been INVITED, we would have loved to have seen Zach in all of his glory. We came to the party that we were invited to.". Ethel let me have the skinny later. Widow Hanna didn't think it was cool move for Minnie.For some reason, Binnie and Lynnie never once said boo to me. I must have had the don't even think of trying anything vibe going on.
The most of Ethel's side of the family was there. I was presently surprised to see cousin StarlaLou come through the door. Being named Starla does have it good points. She and I hung out at dinner. I was able to eat at the grownup table. When Minnie relayed stories of the kiddie party to her guests, I leaned over to B.J.,who I sat next to without incident, and said, "I hope you recorded the party so that we[meaning myself and his parents] have a chance to see this." I must have be on fire because he was actually civil. Imagine that. The conversation flowed pretty well for the most part. Because we werer bringing up stories of past family parties, I had a strong sense of StarlaLou's mother in the room. I felt her prescence at the table. I really miss her too. She was always upbeat and considering who she married to that was no easy feat. My one regret was that I didn't correct Minnie's misinformation to the table that gays are the ones who start gentrifying a neighborhood. Ding dong, you're wrong Smug Married Snot. It goes artists, THEN gays. And she's the one with the MBA. Zach had a mini meltdown of sorts because he didn't get in a nap. But he didn't want to miss out on the fun. He sat in his mom's lap until he got his second wind.He had fun opening his gifts. The Thomas the Train gifts were a big hit with him. He wasn't too pleased with our gift. Oh well.
Minnie indeed earned her moniker of 'the moocher' that night. Fred bought and paid for a delicious chocolate with chocolate mousse filling cake for the party. Binnie came up with the bright idea after Zach's piece was cut that the cake shouldn't or couldn't be cut into thick pieces. If she had cut the pieces any thinner,it could have blended in with slices of Swiss Cheese. Let's get real. She wanted to save some of the cake so she and the mini coven could chow during their hometown football teams the next day. She certainly did at that. Half of the cake. When we left, they tried to give us cake then but we all begged off surprisingly. I was proud of myself for doing that. Seriously, I need an extra piece of cake like I need a hole in the head.
Fred is really testing my patience lately. I wanted to take Ethel to the student salon to get her hair done for the party. I'll explain about the party designation later. I told him that he would have to stay home until we got back because I didn't want to miss the delivery because another attempt wouldn't be made until Monday. He was pouty because he couldn't go to the mall to hang with his buddies. Then he decides that it's time for him to make some home improvements. He knows darn well he's not supposed to do any heavy lifting period. But he could care less. He's lifting this heavy shutter thing to put over a window because it's not good enough to put plastic sheeting. I refused to leave until he finished his job because I didn't want to leave him alone. If anything would have happened to him, the family blame game pointer would have gone to me. One of the many challenges in caregiving your parents is that dividing line to giving their space and wanting to keep them safe.
Of course Ethel was all excited about going to get her hair done so she wanted to leave 8am when they didn't open until 10am. Of course she thought I was taking my time getting ready and was mad at me for taking so long. Luckily just as we had entered the car, I spotted the FedEx guy parking his van. He must have thought I was some kind of nut because I was so excited that one of the packages had arrived on time.
When we get there, I explained to the student stylist how I wanted her hair to look. The girl started using beauty school speak and lost me. I was grateful that one of the instructor's came by and was able to tell her what to do. I told Ethel that I was going to sit in the waiting room to read a book while she was being taken care of. Can I tell you how much I thoroughly enjoyed my free time? It was great. I almost finished the book I was reading. Now I know why "Tuesday's With Morrie" was such a big hit. I was able to gain perspective on some things that had been troubling me. Other comedic humor was provided by 2 students who were speaking in the motherland tongue. They had no idea that I was of the same tribe. I had to bite my tongue to stop giggling at the mini-drama before me. Apparently dye-blond girl was upset that she had brought home made cookies to the holiday party and none were left for her. I wanted to say, "Hello, you should have made back up batch for yourself". They must have been going somewhere swanky because they were wearing three inch heels. Ouch. After I noticed time to by, I went to go see how she was doing. She was finished and said, "What took you so long to come back?" I was like selective hearing strikes again. I know that she AND the student stylist heard me say that I was going to sit and read in the waiting area. I'm unlike Fred, who after dropping off Ethel or myself anywhere misses his designated meeting time by one to two hours. Then she said,"Aren't you going to get your hair done too?". On the way over there, she informs me that she only has enough money for her which I thought was fine because I really didn't need it as I'm going for the Pippi Longstocking look. On the way back we spot Fred driving on our street. I guess he couldn't take it anymore. It was fine because not even five minutes after getting home, UPS lady came back with package no. two. She said I was too happy to be excited about getting a package. I took it in stride.
On Thursday, I took Ethel for a long overdue visit to her oncologist. Preventive medicine and aftercare visits are foreign concepts to Fred and Ethel. It was scarce and in some cases not even on the radar in their respective villages. There must have been some sort of a shakedown with the nurses and office staff because there was no one who I recognized there other than his wife. At least their paperwork is more streamline this time around. The physician assistant who took measured her blood pressure was very arrogant. She tells me" Oh that's very good her bp is 140/36." I was like "Are you kidding me? How can you say that when a normal bp is 120/80?". Even if I hadn't completed that CNA course, the years I've spent watching ER, MASH, Emergency, and Quincy must have seeped some medical knowledge. I must have been the first person to ever make this comment to her. She took the bp again. Idiot.
Then in came Dr. J. and the blame game began. He was upset at me because she blew off her August appointment. He went on to verbally point the finger at me on how it was my fault. I was very proud of myself. I countered back with the following, "If she doesn't want to go to the doctor I can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do. If you have any fresh new ideas to please let me know because I was all out." He didn't expect that so he gently informs me to tell her that she's essentially playing Russian roulette with her life. I wanted to tell him, if he was so concerned that she blew off her appointment, where was the followup letter? When Fred ditched his eye care specialist appointments, that office called with concern. They also sent two letters to him, one from the office staff and the other from the doctor himself. I didn't think it was worth because I know he's been having a tough time as well. It took him awhile to find a replacement for Dr. K., who we lost to the high rates that must be paid for medical liability insurance by doctors. Thank you Gov. B. for not doing anything to drop the rates. He also appreciates when I ask him how he and his family are doing because according to him, I'm the only one who's bothered to ask him about his well-being.The end result is that she has to back in for x-rays.
With regard's to party status, Zach had two parties. One was for him and his buddies in the afternoon where Minnie,Widow Hanna,Binnie,Lynnie, and B.J. were in attendance. For $250.00 you can rent out a "kiddie gym" and everything is done for you. Kids are led through games and activities. The birthday child is king for a day. Party two was the one for just B.J.'s relatives as well as her family. We were only invited to party two. The stressful situation that occurred prior to our arrival was as follows.
Fred offered to order the birthday cake, which he did, and pick it up. He was so proud. He bragged about it all the time prior to the party day. I'm very upset that my concern that his Alzheimer's is kicking in is not being taken seriously. First of all, he was off by a month for the pick up date. No problem, I called and corrected the mistake. I was home pretty much on party day because I needed to find the additional gift of a Bob the Builder dvd/book as well as appropriate wrapping material. One of the upsides of having worked in retail is that I can giftwrap very well. One hour prior to our departure, I'm informed by Fred that I have to go get the cake. I was upset. I wasn't even ready. He had ALL DAY to tell me this. I wouldn't of had a problem picking up at noon. He just sat there very matter of factly. I asked him what was his excuse and he claimed he hurt his back. Okay picking up a cake is not something that will put your back out but I suspected that it was the result of him trying to be Joe Handyman the day before. He expected me to jump to it and I said no. Of course Ethel jumps to his defense saying it's my fault for waiting to giftwrap at the last minute. Um okay?. Last time I checked, you don't need a GED to wrap a gift. It was sitting on her dining room table all day. She could have pitched in but decided her soaps from the motherland took priority. The car drive over to the bakery was ear-splitting with Fred refusing to let me call for directions. I was forced to drive via the yell-at-the-very-last-minute- when I'm supposed to turn and when I missed a street because he told me the wrong one, of course my fault. Finally we get on to the street where the bakery is located. I'm not seeing it and more verbal assaults followed. Ethel insists that I passed it and that I'm just completely stupid so I pulled a U-turn and still couldn't find it. I finally pulled into a hot dog joint. Praise be for cell phones. The bakery man was kind enough to coach me to where I needed to be. There were crude comments about my parking abilities made by Fred. I was so nervous when I got inside. I will be forever grateful to the clerk behind the counter who walked the cake out to the car. Then we got back on track. I decided on the way from the bakery that I was going to put on my happy party face and leave what happened in the past couple of hours behind in the car. I made the same suggestion to Fred and Ethel.
Zach was still the man. He was zipping back and forth he was so excited. Of course he didn't get a nap with all of the action going on in the house. I had a lovely visit with Widow Hanna. She was very surprised as to why we didn't show up to the kiddie party. I put it very bluntly."If we had been INVITED, we would have loved to have seen Zach in all of his glory. We came to the party that we were invited to.". Ethel let me have the skinny later. Widow Hanna didn't think it was cool move for Minnie.For some reason, Binnie and Lynnie never once said boo to me. I must have had the don't even think of trying anything vibe going on.
The most of Ethel's side of the family was there. I was presently surprised to see cousin StarlaLou come through the door. Being named Starla does have it good points. She and I hung out at dinner. I was able to eat at the grownup table. When Minnie relayed stories of the kiddie party to her guests, I leaned over to B.J.,who I sat next to without incident, and said, "I hope you recorded the party so that we[meaning myself and his parents] have a chance to see this." I must have be on fire because he was actually civil. Imagine that. The conversation flowed pretty well for the most part. Because we werer bringing up stories of past family parties, I had a strong sense of StarlaLou's mother in the room. I felt her prescence at the table. I really miss her too. She was always upbeat and considering who she married to that was no easy feat. My one regret was that I didn't correct Minnie's misinformation to the table that gays are the ones who start gentrifying a neighborhood. Ding dong, you're wrong Smug Married Snot. It goes artists, THEN gays. And she's the one with the MBA. Zach had a mini meltdown of sorts because he didn't get in a nap. But he didn't want to miss out on the fun. He sat in his mom's lap until he got his second wind.He had fun opening his gifts. The Thomas the Train gifts were a big hit with him. He wasn't too pleased with our gift. Oh well.
Minnie indeed earned her moniker of 'the moocher' that night. Fred bought and paid for a delicious chocolate with chocolate mousse filling cake for the party. Binnie came up with the bright idea after Zach's piece was cut that the cake shouldn't or couldn't be cut into thick pieces. If she had cut the pieces any thinner,it could have blended in with slices of Swiss Cheese. Let's get real. She wanted to save some of the cake so she and the mini coven could chow during their hometown football teams the next day. She certainly did at that. Half of the cake. When we left, they tried to give us cake then but we all begged off surprisingly. I was proud of myself for doing that. Seriously, I need an extra piece of cake like I need a hole in the head.
posted by Starla Spaulding @ 6:12 AM
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