We'll have fun on Halloween night

Happy Halloween Easy Readers!!!

My fun actually started yesterday will a last minute babysitting gig for Zach. B.J. and Minnie went to a overpriced concert to see a singer from the motherland with some friends of theirs. In honor of the holiday, I gave Zach a small snow-globe of a ghost. I brought over non-scary stories about a Halloween play put on by mice and another story about a ghost who didn't know how to say "boo". Apparently my gift from last time still keep on giving.

Last week B.J. informs that he's seen one kiddie cartoon video of Zach's over 25 times. It's Zach's favorite by far. Every morning before pre-school he asks to see it. When I brought it over I had no idea that it would have an annoying factor to it. What a bonus!! Mission accomplished.

I admit I love daylight savings time. Nothing like getting an extra hour to have fun. I always feel like I'm getting jonesed when the time goes back in the spring. But that's my quirk and I'm sticking with it.

I always get the heebee jeebees around this holiday. I try not to go out just because too many stories of accidents and whatnot. Actually Aunt Imogene was involved in a a serious car accident when I was around eleven or twelve. It was the year, I was a die, single dice, for Halloween. It was B.J.'s idea and I was a great hit. A rarity for this geeky kid to get noticed. Upon hearing of my Halloween costume,Lulubelle decided she would be one too at her school. But this is where our stories fork. I had to take the bus to and from school even though I lived like 20 minutes away because it was too dangerous to cross the busy street with heavy traffic. It wasn't until a stay-at-home mom died in a hit and run after trying to cross that street was another traffic light installed. I envied that Lulubelle had a two car family. Fred was the only parent who drove and never let Ethel learn to drive. Anyway after school on that particular Halloween, I got on the bus as usual and came home.

However in the town of Boonieville, Lulubelle decided that she didn't want to take the bus home and she called Aunt Imogene to come and get her. She never made it to the school and a drunk driver made sure of it. Lulubelle waited and after Aunt Imogene never showed, Lulubelle went to the high school where Beaureguarde was having basketball practice. It was there that they found out that Aunt Imogene was on her way to a hospital. I remember that during her rehabilitation that Aunt Imogene had to learn to walk again using a walker. To this day, she still has lasting effects from the accident in the way of back pain and disc problems. I know life would have been drastically different for all of us if we had lost her that night.

This year I was educated to the modern Chicago Halloween. Beggar's night is totally out. Beggar's night back in the day was the night before Halloween where kids who couldn't afford costumes would go begging from house to house for candy, hence the term. When I informed B.J. of this possibility, he was incensed and showed a side of me that he is now a parent. He told me to "take the names down of the kids who asked for candy" because if they showed up again on Halloween, they weren't going to get any. That just cracked me up. Yeah sure, the local youths are actually going to give their 'real names'. C'mon ask me the one about buying a water tower for a song too?

It was really precious. Zach was trick-or-treating with his mom. The minute he saw grandma and grandpa get out of the car, he didn't want to trick or treat anymore. He wanted to go back to the house and hang out with them. The big pumpkin went over really well. I was impressed that Minnie actually had us come over. There were trick or treaters everywhere and some haunted houses at quite a few homes. Even with the back up Halloween candy I brought over, B.J. and Minnie ran out of candy before the Stan and Terry Show. Some of the kids had great costumes, the fairies, the princesses, the lions, Star Wars favorites, and ghosts. I gave props to the little girl who was dressed up as a football players, complete with pads and all. The most unusual response was from some girl, I'm guessing 12 or 13, who had a big bag of candy collected already. She whined, "I'm hungry" instead of saying "Trick or Treat". I thought "WTH do expect from me to do?" I just gave her candy just the same. I was annoyed at the parents who would bring two kids but would have four bags. And no long story either. They knew the scam.

But they aren't bad as the snotty cheapo suburban parents. One Halloween I worked at Quality Clothing at the McMall. Mall management decided to have all of the stores give out candy on Halloween as an alternative to trick or treating. OMG what a pain in the ass. It was a trend that I could have done without. First of all, the candy was completely gross. It wasn't even the good stuff. I mean the mini- Hershey's, Reeses, Milky-ways, Mounds, etc. We were stuck with these ice-cream shape foam candy crap to pass out. The parents of these kids were obnoxious as anything. The same parents kept making the rounds the entire night. At least five times for one parent. It wasn't like these people were hurting for cash. The amount that these people spent on a blouse at a overly priced designer label store in a day, was probably what my paycheck was for a two-week pay period. I guarantee they were the types who have now become the "helicopter parents" and campaign so Buffy and Chip can get into the college where their money can go.

My most humbling Halloween was the year I lived by the church that had a food pantry. I was walking on my way to the el and I stopped to see this group of 30 or so kids lined up outside the door. There was a lady passing out Lone-Ranger type masks to these kids telling them to get them on because they were going trick or treating. It just broke my heart because I knew if their Halloween was going to be spent at a food pantry, their lives were much tougher than mine.

Although I drove by numerous graveyards, I didn't see Resurrection Mary. If you do, don't forget to give her a ride.

Don't Stop Believing

"HOLY COW"- Harry Caray

THE WHITE SOX WIN THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a side note, Journey was the first band I ever saw in concert. The opening act was Bryan Adams. It's was weird to see former frontman Steve Perry at the game. The story goes that this season a few players were in a bar in Maryland and requested that the bar play something by Journey.The song "Don't Stop Believing " came on the jukebox. That was there theme song for the rest of the season. That's from the Escape album. When I heard this at first I was like, you've got to be kidding me. "Shining Star" by Earth, Wind, and Fire, would have made more sense. But that's why I'm here and not working for the White Sox. The champagne showers and the lit big stoagies were quite a sight to behold.

The White Sox organization was generous enough to fly in everyone involved with the team such as office staff, groundskeepers, sanitary crew, etc. and put them up for free. What a wonderful gift to give their staff!!! Jerry Reinsdorf was very humble on camera. In the past he came off as such an ass. The greatest quote of the year from him has to be the following. "Of course I don't know who Journey is. I just found out a few years ago that Pink Floyd isn't really a person."

Even better was to see the local reaction. People who lived around "The Joan" came out of their homes and headed to the stadium to celebrate with fellow fans. The local reporters had a field day trying to get interviews if they were at Minute Maid Stadium, aka" the "Juicebox", or if they were distpatched to local bars or the streets. Cheryl Burton had the nicest outfit on. I loved her hat. Mayor Daley acted like a little kid when he was interviewed before going in to see the game. He said he didn't want to jinx their chances. Parts of the Stevenson Expressway were blocked because there were so many cars out celebrating.

Ozzie Guillen made a really great speech. He talked about not forgetting where he came from and that Venezuela holds a special place in his heart. He named his second child,Roberto, after the great player, Roberto Clemente. Various players were interviewed and there was one common theme. They wanted to make sure that they could find there other teammates to celebrate. The most used phrase was "There's no I in team".

I was unaware of the hotness of some of the players. Oh my goodness. Joe Crede. Hubba Hubba.
Other honors the White Sox receive include being the first team to ever sweep the World Series. Deal with that. The trophy is beautiful too. And a actual parade starting from "The Joan" at 11am and going through the streets of the Southside. It ends up at the Chicago Board of Trade. Then the ticker-tape parade starts at LaSalle and Jackson and goes to Wacker. I love a parade.

Calling all angels

My morning began with waking up from a bizarre dream. It was a flashback to highschool. But the kicker was I was having to justify the past two years of my present life. It felt like I on trial, having to justify a thesis paper, or something . Woo hoo I got my flu and my pneumonia shots. I bought that airborne stuff too as a backup. All day I having trying to update a previous post but something was stopping me. I'm a strong believer in signs, instincts, vibes, etc.

This afternoon it was confirmed that the charred woman's body found in a Mississippi chicken coop/barn was that of Olamide Elizabeth Adeyooye. My prayers go out to her family and friends. I was so hoping for happy ending to her disappearance. It's not fair. She had her whole life ahead of her. The world will have one less shining light on earth. Who knows what she could have been?

If anything, her story serves as a cautionary tale to young women who post their lives on myspace.com. There is no need advertise your complete schedule to the free world. The internet is not as anonymous as you think it is. This is the second death that's related to a girl having account on this site. I know I sound like a typical sue-happy American when I say this. If it's discovered that her killers had access to her because of her myspace account, her family should sue them for every penny they have got and shut them down. There's no way that they can verify that everyone is a student on that site. How many women have to get murdered before this site realizes that the gateway needs to be majorly updated? The sun and moon will still rise and set the same if they decide to shut down to remodel.

Another thing, the modeling industry is not tech savvy enough to pick models based on a website. They are a dime a dozen and time is money. Photoshop can give almost anyone a free make-over. The predators who troll such sites who claim to be "amateur photographers" are not to be trusted if they approach you because of your website. Ask for references and make sure someone goes with you. Anytime Joe Sleaze Photographer says you need to meet him alone, run in the opposite direction and call the cops. If you want to model, go to NYC, Chicago, LA, or Miami. Find a reputable agency. Do you homework!! Parents too, if your daughter is in high school. No reputable firm requires that you have to pay money for classes or for you have a portfolio if you're good enough at first. If you're a fresh face that fits the bill, they'll gladly take your pictures for you and deduct the expenses after your first job.

While I'm still in a mood to vent, Mary Mitchell's column today in the Chicago Sun-Times was a real eye-opener. She wrote a glowing tribute to Rosa Parks, the mother of the civil rights movement. Parks' example of a non-violent protest to conditions at that time were a reaction not only to tired feet after working all day as a seamstress but as a reminder to the son of the civil rights movement, Emmett Tills, who had died 100 days earlier. Why in the world did she die broke? There is absolutely no excuse in the land of plenty that this lady had to live the way she did in Detroit. Yes, Detroit news websites were the first to report her passing but the quality of her life in Michigan was a complete disgrace after all that she did for a nation. Freakin' Slim Shady is living fat. What about Rosa Parks? She was living in a apartment that was burgled and robbed. No one stepped forward to help her out. I know that there is no neighborhood that's safe enough. But gee whiz people. I'm embarrassed as a human,woman, feminist, and as a American that we as a people didn't do better by her.

Furthermore, the death count of soldiers on the soil in the Middle East has hit number 2000. A great display was held at Mount Holyoke. Over 2,000 pairs of combat boots were featured on the grounds of their campus to show that those who've died are more than just a number. Newsites have reported in some cases the shoes donated actually came from the dead soldier's family. Enough is enough. It's time to bring them home. Call it a day.

At the table of new angels in Heaven, tell the host to add three more place settings.

Return to sender.

Apparently over the weekend, Wal-Mart heiress Elizabeth Paige Laurie "voluntarily" returned her college degree back to USC. She is the granddaughter of co-founder Bud Walton. The investigation proved that she had cheated her way through. Her accomplice was her college roommate Elena Martinez. Last year Martinez went on the "20/20" program about the cheating on college campuses. She said that Laurie paid her only 20k to do her homework. Martinez dropped out from USC because she couldn't afford tuition anymore.

Although this is just another news story, I'm surprised that more hasn't been made about it. I thought at least a mention in the editorial sections of the big news sources at least. Some of my questions revolve around if she received academic honors such as Phi Beta Kappa, why aren't they coming forward to revoke her memberships. I hope this story is used by school teachers across the country to show children that it's a lot easier if you just do your homework. It says a lot about USC as well. In some cases Martinez was able to slip into Laurie's classes and take exams for her. I'm appalled that the professors allowed this to happen. Why wasn't this nipped in the bud earlier?

The Laurie family had made huge donation to University of Missouri-Columbia so that the college could build a new basketball stadium. It was to be called the Paige Laurie stadium. After the allegations of her cheating last year, it was decided that the stadium name is now called Mizzou Arena. Sam Walton is an alumnus of Mizzou and apparently he was quite the frugal college student. In his early years as a college student, he lived in a tent by a river nearby because he couldn't afford to live on campus. He managed to join a fraternity and he always remembered his alma mater. I'm sure he and his brother are rolling in their graves over this about now.

Academic dishonesty is more common than people think. I know I witnessed it myself in the first part of my college career. This limerick was something I remember from my freshman year. When in doubt look about, in a bind look behind. When I was a student at college #1, I struck up a conversation with an alumna from college #1 while we were waiting at the gate for our flight to go to Chicago. I asked her if she would give students from the alma mater and edge of over others in an job hiring situation. After I mentioned I wasn't a business major, she said absolutely not. The college #1 business school is churning out so many cheaters who have no clue what they're doing when they hit the work force. She' d rather hire someone with a degree from Arizona State. But college #1 and USC are not the only places where this takes place.

On a happier note yesterday White Sox 7 - Astros 6 and Bears 10 - Ravens 6. If only the Blackhawks and Bulls follow the example for their season.

Groovin' on a Sunday afternoon

Wow, my ADHD/bi-poloarness is in full force. I have so many things I want to say but it's like my brain is all scatty. When I want to focus on one thing,my brains jumps to another idea and forgets to tell me. Then I forget what I initially wanted to say in the first place. Enjoy the ride of my brain waves easy readers.

Last night the Saturday Night Live Show just sucked big time. The sketches for Catherine Zeta Jones appeared to be a few years too late. The Weekend Update failed to make humor of certain stories that just missed their radars completely. The band, Franz Ferdinand, choked worse than Ashlee Simpson. I didn't bother to see their second set because as my nephew Zach would say , "They're just going to mess up that next song". Did these guys have connections to the sponsor Budweiser? The booking agents for SNL should get fined because they did not earn their money last night.

I'd love to get back on meds because I'm having a hard time trying to get my act together without them. It's a vicious cycle. You need to the meds in order to function for the interview that will get you the job but you can't them unless you have a job that gives you the insurance to see the doctor who will write you the presciption. And so on and so on and so on. Yeah that commercial annoyed me too. I count my blessings that I live in Illinois. Because Stroger Hospital, aw hell it's will always be Cook County Hospital to me, offers free medical services to those who can't afford it. If you ever want to see the effects of insurance companies making medical decisions when the paper pushers have never gone to medical school, take a trip to the land of the uninsured.

Before anyone jumps on my case, let's keep in mind that I've always had some type of W-2 tax form type of job since I was sixteen. The taxes I paid before my mom was diagnosed with cancer has more than paid for what I've put into the system. It gives me comfort to know that my parents are able to receive social security because me, my brother, as well as my parents, and every other eligible legal working Americans have paid into the system.

Unlike other posts today has been pretty mellow. I was able to express my concern to Fred without raising my voice. He went to see doctor yesterday without telling anyone yesterday of his whereabouts in the car that has more than nine lives. He even offered to help me out making breakfast. My cooking faux pas of yesterday was forgetting to put any kind substance to the skillet so the eggs were stuck to the pan like spandex to a fat lady's ass. I know of what I speak.

When I sat to eat my breakfast, my dad was in a good mood. He shared stories about some of his restaurant days. I knew he had helped many alumni from Whattsamatta U. when they were struggling college students. He provided some students with jobs. He gave loans out of his own pocket when no one else was watching. He comped more meals than he could remember.

One of the students,Kyle, didn't have enough money to pay for his meal, so the manager on duty took his leather coat as payment. Kyle showed up the next day wearing a sweater he had borrowed from his girlfriend and explained the situation to my father. So he went downstairs, got the coat, and told Kyle to not worry about the bill and comped his meal as well that day. Kyle has gone on to become a cardiologist on the East Coast and has done very well.

Unbeknownst to anyone, my dad made arrangements with the minister at the Baptist Church around the corner to give the restaurants leftovers of meals and rolls to a large family in need before it was in fashion. The widowed father was a long distance truck driver. One of the kids went on to be a major league baseball player. The bottomless cups of coffee served at that place came with humor, love, and advice. Regardless of the shade of their skin or status, he always provided every customer with the utmost of what is now called customer service. That's something you can't get out of a book. I still laugh at the notion of a hospitality management degree. Give me a break. Unless you have a hell of a work ethic, are skilled in negotiations, prepared to work twelve hour days among other attributes, there's no way anyone can survive in that industry. It saddens me that the mom and pop restaurants are few and far between these days. It still bothers me that there's a McDonald's in the motherland. It was a shame that he never struck out on his own.

With the holidays approaching, he reminded me that he would need to start looking for a turkey soon for Thanksgiving. I keep trying to pin him down for all of his recipes. I'll be damned if Minnie ever gets to see them. It ticks me off when people don't acknowledge where they got ideas and later claim to be their own.

My dad provided the collateral to Uncle OG and Uncle OG's weasel brother-in-law when no one else to start his business. Also my dad sponsored his brothers to come over from the motherland when the immigration laws were still strict.

Ethel loves Sundays. It means that she can catch the mass for shut-ins on TV. Going to church with Fred is out of the question. He cannot sit still for anything. His undiagnosed ADD is so obvious. Also she feels embarrassed showing up to services in the damaged car.

If I had my way I would attend services in the city or change teams altogether. I dislike the local church. As a kid, I had similar experiences to Margaret Cho. I thought that God had it in for me until I read her book I'm The One That I Want. Even as an adult, the local church doesn't want me. Once when it was my turn to take communion, the current priest bold-faced asked me if I was a Christian. Keep in mind that he never asked anyone else in line this question. I answered with a generic yes, received the sacrament and went on my way. Afterward, I thought, I try to keep the day perfect, peaceful, and sinless but dammit you just fucked it up for me. I have great respect for my religion, God, and the 12 backup singers. But it's kind of hard to be holy when the people at the door treat you like you're not good enough to pray with them. How's that for loving your fellow man? Hyprocrite much?

Unfortunately, the church is not immune from the ills of modern society. When I went to enroll my parents as members at the local church, the experience still left me with a bad taste in my mouth. The secretary bitch pretended she was clueless as to how much was needed for stewardship. She was more interested in getting back to her phone call with her friend about a mutual friends webpage. I'm sure after I made the following remarks,I was church fodder for a bit. I asked her if there was a secret handshake or anything else we needed to know. I know this wasn't my most shining moment as a human being. But my days for putting up with bullshit from strangers are over.

I'm not the only one though. Church brand D, as in drama, where Aunt Imogene and Uncle OG are founding members. She gets snubbed by the snooty church ladies auxiliary all of the time. It doesn't help that Uncle OG's wife, Gladys, is very popular and can't stand Aunt Imogene or the rest us. Let's just say her relatives were well provided for with homes, vacations, cash, bridal showers, jewelry, education, and stints in drug-rehabs. I'm not bitter. Let go and let God. She gave up a chance to go to Whattsammatta on a full-ride scholarship because she chose to help support her widowed mother and weasel brother, Mr. Cheating Hairplug.

For those of you who are near the Border's on Michigan Avenue this Tuesday at 7p.m. , Margaret Cho will be giving a reading an excerpt from her new book, I Have Chosen To Stay And Fight. Due to lack of funds as well as my agoraphobia, I will not be in attendance. If you happen to be at her booksigning, let her know where you got your idea to get social.

Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack

Today there is joy in Mudville. White Sox 5 - Houston Astros 3.

It's a beautiful thing to see the "The Joan" filled to capacity. The name was invented by Stan and Terry, they're the hosts of a daily radio show in the evenings on WCKG. Yes, I know it's officially the U.S. Cellular Field but with that comes the nickname of "The Cell". Most people when they see that name they are thinking the pokey and I don't mean the hokey pokey. But hey that's what it's all about. Things would have been easier if they had just kept the name Comiskey Park. I guess we should be lucky they didn't decide to fire Nancy Faust, organist with the White Sox organization for over 35 years. You go girl!!!

The city has come out in full force. On Friday the city gave away masks of Ozzie Guillen. The Picasso is wearing a White Sox cap. I love hats. The two American Indian statues, left over from The Columbian Exposition of 1893, on Michigan Avenue have white socks on their horses legs. The Chief of Police joked that they'd have to be excused because this was first time they've ever had to plan coverage for a World Series before.

There haven't been many reports of ticket scalping. In fact, I commend the White Sox organization for the following deed. When certain celebrities who shall be nameless tried to scam tickets for the playoffs and the World Series by using their status, the White Sox said basically no dice. Their priorities are to their season ticket holders. The celebrities would have to pay just like anyone else. A great marketing strategy they used was that if you wanted to order World Series tickets before they went on sale to the general public, you could pay to be a season ticket holder for the 2006-2007 season.

Certain people claim that it's impossible to root for one team and be a fan of the other. Yeah right. I guess I'm going on the short bus to hell because I like to read the Chicago Sun-Times during the week and the Chicago Tribune on Sunday. It's Chicago White Sox and Chicago Cubs. Please note the similarity in their names. Both teams represent the city. I wish the White Sox well. They've worked hard, shown great examples of teamwork, and it's their turn to shine. As usual this long suffering fan of the Cubs knows there's always next year. Representing North Side.

On the other hand, if someone roots for the Chicago Bears and the Green Bay Packers on game day, that's crazy.

Won't Anybody Help Her

The way the media chooses to cover only select missing persons shows a sad state in journalism. The program, "Dateline", devoted a segment to the inadequacies in reporting when a white woman is missing versus a non-white woman. Aren't we all supposed to be equal in the eyes of God? The proverb from Galatians is my favorite. When I lived in Uptown, I used to see it used in a mural everyday on the side of a thrift store on Sheridan Road. Then the rents went up, the condos followed, and now there's a Borders,Books and Music in the old Goldblatt's building.

Greta Van Sustren made it her mission for a while to feature Natalie Holloway on every newscast. Everyone has their theories. Mine is that she is a victim in human trafficking as a result of getting involved with the boys who were last seen with her. Jennifer Wilbanks was "The Runaway Bride" who had national coverage on a daily basis on major networks until she was found to have faked her disappearance and was found to have wussed out on her marriage to a spineless airhead. Those type of guys are fun to date when you're young but they lose their charms when you're older and it's not all about sex. Of course all she gets is community service and a fine paid courtesy of her affluent family. Anyone else would have gotten jail time big time. But what about Olamide Adeyooye? You say you don't know her story. Well here it is.

Olamide Elizabeth Adeyooye is a college senior ,21,who was about to graduate this semester from Illinois State University. She's a Nigerian- American with family in Berkeley, Illinois. She's been missing for a week. She was last seen at a video store in Normal, Illinois. Her car is gone. It is a 1996 Toyota Corolla ,green, four-door , rosary hanging off of a rearview mirror, and license plate number LGB 927. Her story was brought to my attention courtesy of The Chicago Tribune, the local TV stations and radio stations. Yesterday I decided to google her name and see if any national news media outlets had picked up on her story. None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Nowhere. No CNN, FoxNews, USAToday, New York Times, or Washington Post. The only places that listed her name were various blogs by her friends, and her boyfriend. I was so outraged at the lack of media coverage about a bright young woman. I emailed the diva of all the she surveys. I got the standard thank you message just the same. I know it's a long shot but every little bit helps. This morning only "Good Morning America" was the only one to carry her story. Shame on you "Today Show" and " CBS This Morning" for failing to care enough to find a missing person. Perhaps you should continue to focus on further promoting the inflated egos of your hosts, celebrities, and pseudo celebrities at the discretion of your producers who kowtow to network sponsors.

Hopefully, someone reading my post will let her story be known to others. The power of the written word is amazing. It has the ability to cross boundaries and touch the souls of others. I have it on good authority that I have more than three people reading this blog.

Papa Don't Preach

There have been alot of media attention going on about certain stories involving girls and women. I'll start from the fetus and work my way up.

Various media sources have now reported that Supreme Court nominee Harriet Meiers,in 1989, was for the reversal of Roe v. Wade decision. Hopefully, she is still not of this mindset. But from a newstory in the Los Angeles Times, she apparently switched teams religously. She was born a Catholic but became a "born-again Protestant". I have no problem if she wants to change where puts money in the collection plate. I do take issue with the phrase "born again" when used in religion. There are some things you don't get to do over. Especially those who claim to have "found" Jesus. If you were a jackass yesterday, chances are you're going to be a jackass a week from tomorrow. It's just you're going to have to remember that if you screw up not only do you have to answer to yourself, a higher power is now on your speedial of the religion of your choice. If you've found him, could you let the rest of the Christians, of various backup groups, in on the location? I know I have a few questions I'd like to ask.

It's amazing to see how my attitudes have changed since then. What's even scarier? My 20 year reunion is in five years. Yikes. I'm not surprised Bush would nominate someone without experience as a judge. That's how the country ended up with Mr. Blame Game Brown.

The state of Missouri now has to provide transportation to the female convict that wants a abortion. The woman's family is paying for the abortion so that's not even affecting tax-payers.
If male convicts can get the government to pay for their Viagra then female convicts should be able to get abortions.

I have seen firsthand the effects of Missouri's strict abortion laws. When I was a student in the state I had a friend/roommate who found herself pregnant. In the early nineties, the rule was that women were allowed only 3 abortions. After that, unless the mother's life was in danger would a abortion be allowed. She had already had an abortion and didn't want to use her chances up. Zelda decided to have the baby and give up for adoption. At 20 she was in no position to become a single mother. The birth father was an idiot who claimed he had a low sperm count while dating another woman. To add insult to injury, her pregancy had to be kept secret from part of her family because the child was bi-racial. She received maternity clothes from a local church, food stamps to ensure proper nutrition, and had an open adoption. On top of that she worked and had a full class schedule. I put my work-study job on notice that I had to take off in case she gave birth while I was on campus. She went into labor while some of us went to Florida during Spring Break. We got back in time to see her little girl. I still have the photographs that I took at the hospital. From what I can recall her adoptive family already had other children from foreign adoptions. The family sent pictures and letters about Emily. All appeared to be well with Zelda until the baby's first birthday. Zelda went into a deep depression and dropped out of college. She married a much older man and is still married to this day. She decided never to have kids because she didn't think it was right to bring a child into the world until everything was in order. Zelda had the option of giving the baby to her best friend from childhood, Linda, but thought it would be too hard to have to see her daughter being raised by someone else. I have big problem with pro-life groups who say it's best for the child to be brought into the world. At what cost? For those who picket, are you going to be there to pick up the pieces in the middle of the night when the birth-mom has a nervous breakdown after not dealing with her emotions? Is there a guarantee that the adoptive child is going to have a better life? How many stories have we seen about adoptive parents who abused and or killed the children they promised to take care of? Not to mention the understaffed and underpaid social workers who work in bowels of hell in the foster care system.

About five years later at a 4th of July party,I met a woman who was my age and had a kid who was in grade school. She got pregnant when she was in high school. She went from being a cheerleader to being a single parent. Her parents didn't allow her to have an abortion. She was a dental hygenist and never got the opportunity to go to college. How different would have her life had been if she had the chance to fufill her dreams?

On the flip-side there's the Duggar family. This couple just gave birth to #16. Yes "Cheaper By The Dozen" was based on the Gilbreth family. But at least both adults had college degrees ,every child from this family went to public school and graduated from college. These other two are a real piece of work. Granted most parents are going to embarrass us in some shape or form. If they want to dress the girls in knock-off Laura Ashley outfits fine by me. My mom made my clothes and I suffered the teases from my peers in grade school. But I have a big issue with them not sharing the chores equally and having the girls do alleged "women's work". They are not doing their children favors by not teaching them skills for everyday life. Home-schooling standards are a total joke for the majority of the states that participate.

I am pro-choice. A woman should decide what's best for her and not have to stand before a judge or anyone else so she can get permission about her decision. When you educate a man you educate him for a job. When you educate a woman, you educate her family.

One thing leads to another

Bless her heart, Aunt Imogene strikes again. She must have put Beaureguarde in headlock because he left me a voicemail message. Allegedly he wants me to work for him as a receptionist a few days a week. Hello, I'd like to order a plate of "Hell No" to go. Thank you.

Beau is a disturbed soul. He overcame a stuttering problem. I suspect that he was molested by older cousins on Bubba's side of the family. It would explain why he was so mean and abusive to his sisters as well as to B.J. and myself. Growing up he and B.J. were pretty tight. They did most of the similar things but the tide turned when it came to college. Beau went to State U., remained independent, and had friends like Gizzard the Lizard. Meanwhile B.J went to Whattsamatta U. and pledged a fraternity. They lost touch and it's sad. Beau became pretty much a recluse and avoided family functions ever since. In a way I don't blame him but it would be nice if he and B.J. could patch things up. Ironically,they are living their lives in a parallel way. Both are married , in the same profession, and have children. Beau's wife is a sweetheart and a saint.

It is a riot to see Aunt Imogene and Uncle Bubba go into grandparent mode. They have so mellowed out since they've gotten older.

Put your head on my shoulder

I'm sad to say someone beat me to the punch on the title I had for my book, When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People. I linked to booksamillion instead of Amazon because they have local bookstores. Granted it's not local like back in the days of Kroch's & Brentano's. But I have a discount card and sometimes they have better deals.

Yesterday was flu shot day for Fred and Ethel. The fun started at 7:30a.m. with a frantic banging on my door. Ethel was insistent that I talk to B.J. Why she can't tell number one son that "hey she's not up and she'll call you back", I'll never know. He wanted to pick me up after dropping off Zach at daycare. I was supposed to hang out all day at his place because I had agreed to pick up Zach after school. Minnie was out of town on business. Of course I was grumpy because I don't like things changed at the last minute. Also, my frame of thinking was, I didn't see the point of me going over there that early. The typical brother/sister verbal attacks ensued and of course he won. I was pissed because Ethel has this evil habit of volunteering me for things without asking me. Her life isn't inconvenienced but hey fuck with mine no problem. After the fact every time I remind her as to why this was not a good idea, she claims "I didn't know". It kills me because she always LOVES to Monday morning quarterback when I'm the one that screws up. Being the devil incarnate that I was I said some things that I shouldn't have to her. Give the daughter of the year award to someone else.

Of course while they're gone and I'm trying to get ready, Aunt Imogene decides to pop by. I proceed to have a meltdown in front of her because I just felt like crap. Suprisingly she gave me some words of wisdom, "I think when men become doctors they get weird". She didn't stay long because she was having a equally fun day. Uncle Bubba was waiting in the car. They were trying to find some air conditioning covers and there's been a run on them in Lake County.

I was especially concerned because when Fred and Ethel go places where paperwork has to be filled out, things have a way of always going FUBAR. Luckily things went suprisingly smoothly. Unlike last year when we waited over 12 hours for them to get the shot, they were in and out in five minutes. This is a big sign that it's okay for me to move on with my life.

On the ride over, B.J. tells me how he let Ethel have it for waking me up. She even hung up on him because she was mad at him. I was totally shocked that he was in my corner. But things returned back to normal he lectured me on my other faults on the ride over. Throughout the afternoon my spidey senses picked up on the fact that he's afraid to stay alone in the house. Would it have been so hard for him to clue me in? I wouldn't have gone into bitch mode so early if he had just explained it to me. But I lose cool points for not picking up on it sooner. He's stressed out because their income tax bill to the man is a biggie this year. I find out that Minnie's sister Sissie is not paying her for services rendered. He's sad that Fred and Ethel aren't coming over more to spend time with Zach. I so wanted to say, "Considering how welcome they feel when Minnie hits the cell phone whenever they cross the threshold can ya blame 'em?". But I kept my mouth shut. Men and their feelings.

I had brought some books and resume crap to work on. Much of the afternoon was spent watching DVD of DoctorWho, a British sci-fi favorite on PBS during late seventies and early eighties. At least I have a hint of what to get him for Christmas this year. Damn the BBC for their obnoxious prices. I'd love to get the series for "Are You Being Served?" or "Absolutely Fabulous" but not as those prices. The boxed DVD set for "Sex and The City" is around $200.oo. My frugal self will wait for the price drop. That being said, I think putting Sex and The City into syndication is censorship at it's finest. Because of the way some of the scenes are edited, the context is completely lost. Another example is when films and TV shows are edited so they be shown on the "family channels". Whatever happened to parents just saying ,"Hey you're too young to see this and you'll have to wait until you're older". I'm a purist that way. I don't agree with colorization of black and white films. When books that I've read are made into movies, I'd put my two cents in to friends as to how screenplay could have stayed true to the books message instead of going for the money shot, so to speak.

Picking up Zach from pre-school is always fun, he drops everything and runs to me for a big hug. I've got the best nephew ever. Usually I end up collecting the art projects, extra clothes and notes that Minnie lets pile up. He was very proud of how he used the potty and made a big poo poo. The fun is never going to end is it? LOL. As par for the course I ask how school was and he lets me into the world of toddlerland. The walk to the car is fun because we can get goofy and he still thinks it's cool to hold Auntie Starla's hand. On the drive home we sing to the radio and count the number of street signs, spell out the letters, and talk about the colors of the stoplights.

I'm his hook up when it comes to kid friendly videos and books. I'm lucky that the thrift shops I frequent have them in good supply. I've slipped in some bible stories when I can. After yesterday's story he ask me where God is. I told him God is everywhere, in the trees, in the sky, and in your heart. During dinner, I asked Zach where he thought were God was. He pointed out me that is was dark and that God was sleeping. Isn't that precious or what? For Halloween he wants to be Thomas The Tank Engine or Jay Jay the Jet Plane. But Minnie doesn't like the design of the Thomas costume and claims he wants to be a dalmation again like last year. OMG who does she think she's fooling besides herself when those lies come out of her mouth.?

I have to share this but in Match Game host Gene Rayburn style.

Gene Rayburn : Big butt Lynnie is soo big.
Audience : "How big is she?".
Gene Rayburn Big butt Lynnie is so big that she broke a full size bed frame in their guest room.

Minnie was trying so hard to spin that the bed was second hand and so old etc....Bullshit. If my fat ass had broken the bed, Minnie would have conferenced called the coven with the news faster than a speeding bullet. She's not having an easy time though. Her mom who I'll call the Widow Hanna is seeing an unusual amount of doctors and is keeping the coven out of the loop. The illness suspected is leukemia since that's what her brother died of. Minnie flew back with Zach to see her for the holiday. I asked if he had fun with Grandma Hanna and he sadly said no. D'oh! Oh the number of storage units I can fill with the things people tell me.

Everybody was kung-fu fighting

Well as par for the course, I'm in the family doghouse until the next family function. No I didn't make it to the lecture and lunch sponsored by the church ladies. The day before the event, the Pontiac that refuses to die decides to have a heart attack in the local mall parking lot. It was resurrected by the mechanics who work miracles. But Fred didn't feel that it drivable for the hour plus ride out to the boonie burbs. So I called the day before to send my regrets on voice-mail. Apparently I wasn't the only no-show at their table. Starlabelle's mother-in-law, Crystal, failed to grace her presence as well.

I was rewarded accordingly for not attending. Ethel had a massive toothache attack on lecture morning. It was the kind of pain that affected her jaw. I spent the entire day running around getting her over the counter meds and Anbesol type products. I was refreshing ice packs and checking her temperature in case we had to go to the emergency room. This situation could have been avoided had she gone to get her tooth repaired as was suggested by the dentist. She blew it off and she didn't like that I wasn't sympathetic enough. I know she's not going to change but come on now. Preventative medicine works for a reason.

On Sunday, the obligatory recap came from Aunt Imogene via voicemail. Apparently Lulubelle and Starlabelle won second place for their centerpiece design. She added what a shame I missed all of the fun and not to send a check. Ethel and I thought the other had sent the check in to Starlabelle. I will be spending some time at Hallmark today for " the sorry I'm a fuckup" card. But there's part of me that doesn't think I should have to. I know the afternoon would have been spent answering embarrassing questions peppered from Starlabelle and Lulubelle. Imogene has taught them well how to spin it so it doesn't appear that they are being intrusive when certain subjects arise. I've come to the point in my life where I don't see the need to put myself in situations where I know I'm going to be the butt of jokes. Yes I have my flaws and I've made plenty of mistakes but I don't need to be reminded of them in public. Furthermore, when I try to verbally defend myself, I'm accused of being defensive and sensitive.

In further adventures of the getaway car, I finally was able to get Fred to a place to finish filling out the paperwork. He was so pissed about the ticket there was no talking to him without there being a huge blowup. Of course it was my fault that the insurance company didn't get the paperwork. Luckily the customer service rep is a sweet lady and she was able to help me answer some of the questions that I didn't understand. The funny part was when I went to go find the local Fed-Ex office. Apparently it moved across the street from where it was originally. As I was pulling out of the parking lot and muttering under my breath about trying to figure out where to go. When I was about to turn onto the main street, there was the big Fed-Ex/Kinko's sign staring me in the face. After I take Fred to sign off on paperwork on Monday it's going to take another 14 business days to get the getaway car back. I'm still going to feel creepy driving this thing. Maybe I can smudge it with some sage.

Apparently I still have it going on customer service wise, I was able to convince the supervisor at Dishland to send my parents replacement pieces without a creditcard. I reminded him that my parents were loyal customers for over 8 years with their original equipment. Also they had spread the word and encouraged others to use their service without receiving any financial compensation. WTF is this thing about having to hold onto the number as a deposit just in case we don't return the receiver? Uh yeah I'm going to let you hold onto my credit card number until the end of time. In the age of identity theft and hackers no company is immune from having files stolen.

Speaking of companies, no blog is safe. The Chicago Tribune ran a story about people who had been punished for speaking less than highly about the place that gave them a paycheck. It is unfortunate that it has come to this. Even when names have never been mentioned. There is a false sense of expectation that we all leave our worries at the door when we get to work. Unless it's work that is causing our worry. No longer are employees allowed to speak their peace to HR about their concerns. It's even worse when co-workers choose to become the gossip-mongers and twist the knife in your back just enough for you to feel the sting after the fact. More than once I have recruited people who I thought were my friends to work at my place of employment at the time. These same people turn around and just screwed me out of the workplace. Talking behind my back, causing drama, and using my name in situations that I was never involved with was my payment for trying to be a good friend. Thanks but no thanks. Karma and God know what you did and you will be punished accordingly.