A Semi-Charmed Kind Of Life

Well Fred's out of the hospital and back to his regular schedule of rants. Ethel sent me with the wrong size shoes for him when it was time to be discharged but as you know it's my fault. Out of character,B.J. had time to be driver for Fred. He was so out of it driving. He kept missing streets and adding to the length of the trip. I knew better so for once I kept my mouth shut. Fred was all shits and giggles to B.J. on the ride home. It just kills me how all B.J. has to do is just show up and he's golden while I've knocked myself out with visits. Email from my instructor about my very late paper. Oh yeah I can feel the joy in response to that hot mess.

Fred now has enough doctors to have a posse. Deal with that Sean Combs. The pharmacy really hit the jackpot when I showed up with his list of new meds. I caught up with the latest O mag.

Even with Fred back with us, this is just the start of hard work yet to come. His loss of driving priveledges is going to turn me into a soccer mom for the geriatric set. Not to mention the number of extra office visits I'm adding to my routine. Ethel and I toasted a bon voyage to the silence over toast and sausages this morning.

I'd like to give a special shout out to the doctors, nurses, cnas, dietitians, chaplains, and janitorial staff. These past days just flew by with your help and support.

Just A Touch Of Love

The power of prayer has been amazing. Fred is still in ICU and oxygen but the ookabillion other tubes and needles are out of him. I'm reading up on about his special installation and he can't lift anything. Tonight I feel so screwed about everything. The increase in caffeine isn't helping matters. I feel like having a good primal scream just to get it out of my system. I thought about pulling it in the hospital parking lot but I didn't want to freak out security.

There's a strong possibility that Fred may return home this weekend. We are so not equipped to handle him. He's still disoriented. Today he didn't follow the conversation. He asked me questions like "Did your dad go to the mall?" My heart just took a nosedive. I stayed on top of the nurses to make sure he was situated before I left for the night. I'll tell you one thing. I'm not doing anymore double day visits. I'm totally spent and still have a paper to crank. I'm so panicked about not getting it done. I cannot drop the ball. I feel alone in the fact that it's up to me to do everything. Oh how I envy the sex and the city types. Life is one pseudo mini drama.

I picked up some interesting information from Cousin Dew and Uncle Bubba. Both of their daughters are going through some sense of entitlement selfishness. Because they are in their twenties they think it's up to daddy to bankroll their rock n roll lifestyle. When did it become a requirement that everything had to be bling bling and there be no consequences? Uncle B. went on to tell how his daughter had anorexia/bulimia because her friends kept telling her she was fat.

It's only Tuesday and I feel it's been longer.

Dear God

Yesterday at the hospital just sucked big time. Having to see Fred in restraints and on the oxygen mask just knocked the wind right out of me. Every time he said he'd be good he'd just to back to ripping the mask right off of his face. I had a good cry in the waiting room for about a half an hour. Last night when I was cleaning out my purse I still had my tissues in there and they were still damp with tears. My heart just wasn't into doing much of anything. Minnie was no help either. When I asked her for any words of wisdom on how to deal with this she had nothing to say on the subject.WTH kind of logic is that? There were a few moments of comic relief.

Fred spit out the pills the nurses tried to give him. When the nurse asked him if he would behave himself if she took off the restraints, he said "NO!". A for honesty. God bless him. That's my pop.

It was divine providence that BJ called to tell me that Fred was intubated and moving to intensive care unit. My nerves are just fried at the moment. I may go back to smoking during this ordeal. My appetite is shot anyway. I've been turning more and more to my faith. It annoys me that the local church hasn't stopped off one of the priest but maybe the hospital chaplain dropped the ball. It could happen.

I find that going to classes is providing a good diversion for me. It's been a challenge to get back into the rhythm of studying. I feel back for not getting back to certain people because I just don't know what to say. At times I'm afraid I'll just muddle into a weeping Wanda. I think this once a day cry thing is par for the course.

You're The End Of My Rainbow

This has been such a bizarre day. It was typical in that I ate my bran cereal and had my cup of coffee. I got ahold of Dr. Curious to tell him about Fred's health problems. They were severe enough to get him a sameday visit. In typical Fred fashion, we took the roundabout way to get there. I held my tongue because I knew Fred wasn't feeling well.

Even though it was raining out, I managed to remain calm. During the office visit, Fred changed colors and had problems breathing. The cardiogram was the clincher. He needed to get to the closest er and fast. We couldn't wait for a ambulance so it was Fred and me in a game of beat the clock to get to the hospital. Fred took it in stride. On the outside I was composed but on the inside I was totally freaking out.

I'll say this for Haul Ass Hospital. They are on top of their security. I even had to wear a badge just to hang out in the emergency waiting room. The cnas who came to take them to his room rattled me a bit. One woman was training and Fred was her guinea pig. At one point they were having a disagreement, I just felt like saying, "Bitches step aside and let a real cna show you how it's done."

After we got to the room and he was tucked into bed, it was time for the dreaded call to B.J. He was so non-chalant about everything. In the waiting room I wanted to scream, "He's your father you jackass. Show some fucking concern and quit playing."
You know darn well that Minnie and coven would have flown at break neck speak on their brooms to get to widow Hanna. Argument number two was about going to class. I really didn't want to go. Okay part had to do with the fact that I didn't finish the assignment. But I just felt it was wrong.

When Ethel was in the hospital, she had people visit her around the clock. I didn't like the idea of Fred being by himself. Ethel had the same attitude as B.J. Like mother like son.

I'm just not ready to give Fred up. As sappy as this sounds, I love being daddy's little girl. Granted daddy has his moments of being a pita but so does everyone else. I want to hold on to his stories. He's so getting recorded for posterity along with Ethel.

Somehow I found the strength to crank out what I needed and headed to class. I had the most superb parking karma. By the time I got out of class, visiting hours were over. I was able to listen to the message B.J. left for me. I don't care what he says, I'm still going over to see him tomorrow. I did drive thru for dinner but I didn't enjoy it. Food doesn't hold the say joy for me anymore.

If you read this post, please say a prayer for my dad. Thank you.

Bear Down Chicago Bears

Final score 26 - 0

The last time the Bears won like this against the Packers was in 1991. It was a beautiful thing to behold. Everyone did their job and worked together as a team. Aside from the hard work, the Big Guy decided the FIBs could use some joy after what happened yesterday.

That's right Easy Readers Marshall Field's green has now become Macy's red. With Carson Pirie Scott hitting the skids, State Street will almost become unrecognizable. It's bad enough that the Palmer House is getting rid of the awnings. I almost went down to the protest but B.J. and Zach stopped by for a unscheduled day long visit. Even with the action in the place, I managed to read 70 pages for class. I have several assignments already due and feel like I'm playing catch up. I missed out on another job because they wanted someone younger. No nevermind to me. It just gives me a better opportunity to find a better gig.

The day before yesterday I had a choice of going to get a prescription filled or going to get my books because time was running out. I keep forgetting not everyone keeps late hours to stay open. At least the campus library keeps normal college hours. That was one of the things that annoyed me about a couple of colleges that I attended is that there libraries would close at 9pm. I can understand a public town library but not a college one.

Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting

It's at times likes this I wish I could tap into my inner Madea and go to town with a chainsaw on some furniture. If this were the sixties I could call it performance art. The title of piece would be called "Hillbilly schooling Hoochie Mama Goldigger".
I cannot believe the shit that comes out of Minnie's mouth the moment I leave her home after babysitting Zach so she can get plastered with her cronies.

I could devote yet another long post and point out the obvious. But she only gets a this paragraph. I've got news for her. If she shoves coal up her ass it won't come out diamonds, it's still going come out shit. She called me and my extended family a bunch of "white trash hillbillies". Hmmm. Let's do the math and count the diplomas. Here we go. There's 6-MD,4- JD, 4- MBA, 21- BA and 1 AA.I'd say that's not bad for a bunch of hillbillies. These are the same people who have shown nothing but love and respect for Minnie. Go ahead and bar me, Fred and Ethel from this weekend's family event. Uncle OG knows who and what you are along with your loser sidekicks.