Modern Day Spinster

The expected definition of a spinster is to just be a single and never married woman. If it were only that simple. I am a daughter, sister, auntie, friend, babysitter, alumna, artist, writer, diva, comedienne, bitch, caregiver, confidante, adviser, stylist, cheerleader, singer, dancer, activist, referee, sinner, saint, lover and occassional dater. Watch as I try to balance multiple spinning plates of relationships, responsibiilities, and reactions to life.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

I Thought You Should Know

It's been awhile since I've updated. Well it felt that way to me. I've done yoga three days in a row. I didn't add cardio today because I have a tendency to hyperfocus whenever I start a new project. I'd like this new routine to stick around for more than a month. I heard that microtears add up if you're not careful. Yeah, that's the last thing I need to have go south.

Local news reported that Star Jones is officially gone from "The View". Her contract wasn't renewed by ABC and was expected to finish the end of her current contract. Frankly, it was inevitable. It makes sense she was disrespected by ABC powers that be. She lost her status on the panel because she was no longer fat AND single.
OMG how dare she alienate a portion of "The View" demographic.(sic)It sucks to be her right now. But I'm a firm believer for every door that closes God opens another. I couldn't imagine what it must be like to put on a straight face every morning with people who knew you got the shaft before you did. As well,she looked out for herself in a business that's well known for chewing you up and spitting you out in under a minute.

I hope she goes the way of Lisa Ling instead of Debbie Matenopoulos. Jones' law degree and her past accomplishments will carry her far. I've never really been an active watcher of "The View" because it felt like a mini-version of Cosmopolitan and Good Housekeeping. Catering to the lowest denominator might bring in ratings but it insults intelligent women who are more than what some suits assume they are. I would love a tv program that was a spinoff of Bust or Bitch. TV programming is sorely lacking in intelligence. I'm not saying that there isn't a time or a place for things like South Park but not 24/7. There's a reason why people of my generation and older were able to relate to certain tv viewing moments before the vcr and tivo. It was only on at a certain time of the week and if you missed it, too bad.

Although I do love that there are boxed sets of tv programs. There are many programs on my wish list. Sony get your butts in gear. Just go ahead and pay Linda Bloodworth what she's worth and get Designing Women in a boxed set.

Dear Shonda Rhimes, Please get season two out on dvd as soon as possible. I know airing it on Thursdays wasn't your idea but give me something to go on for the summer and beyond. Most Thursday nights will be spent in a classroom.

In other news, B.J. and I are getting along rather well. We had a long talk over the weekend. Apparently, the relatives near and far are chiming in about the relocation. It would have been so easy to get on the guilt bus with everyone else. I guess the daily spiritual readings are paying off. It's not like he's running away from something. He's going to somewhere better for himself and his family. In the end that's all that matters.

Laundry is such a pita when it takes up the entire day. Good grief where did the month go.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Let's Get Physical

First off, get your mind out of the gutter. No, I did not get lucky with some random guy. Instead this morning I did yoga. Then after dinner I did some aerobics. I know I'm just as stunned as you are at the magnitude of the events. I was lucky to pick up a yoga tape that was body gentle to larger people. Some of the mistake purchases of other yoga tapes are much more advanced and for the limber. But they're labeled for beginners. Putting that kind of label on a exercise tape is just wrong. Instead of beginner there should be an additional label of whether the person about to attempt this has been active or inactive. It's not enough for there to be a disclaimer that the production company and the performers are absolved of litigation in case you hurt yourself. I liked this yoga tape because I was able to get through the entire tape without my body thinking, "what the heck are you thinking doing this to us?" Nah that response was when I reentered the world of cardio vascular aerobics.

In case you're wondering I had purchased "The Firm" series three years ago. When they advertise that you'll change your shape after 8 workouts, they're not kidding. I was only able to keep up for 25 minutes. The sweat was pouring down my face like a waterfall. I loved that they had a very modified alternative for beginners. In addition, they highly reccommend that you NOT use weights if it's your first time following the program. I was very impressed by the strength of the plastic steps. There's a part of the workout where you have to literally sit on the edge of steps for certain exercises. I couldn't believe it held my weight. I thought for sure my body weight would cause the steps to crack and for me to land straight on my ass shaking the foundation of the building or at least pissing off my neighbor.

I just felt it was time to finally do something. It also helped that I had cleared enough clutter that there was space enough for me to move. Even though I didn't get endorphins, I'm hoping for a energy boost. These four o'clock urges to nap has gotten on my nerves. It's not a new thing. For years, at that time of the day,my body is like, "hey I don't care, you need to stop and nap." Of course I didn't have the opportunity to that when I was working out in the world. To compensate my lethargicness, it would be s chocolate bar or a pop to the rescue. My body has had enough corn syrup to last until the end of time.

Another thing, that made me giggle was a story told by Fred. B.J. told him that Lynnie and Grandma Hanna were quite verbal in front of Zach. He told them,"Stop it. You're too loud." Well, I wonder what Minnie will say to that bit of news. Loudmouths run in her family too. The subject of the fight was that Lynnie was hitting up Hanna for some cash. Hanna told her no way.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

What's Your Price For Flight?

Last night freaked me out. I could not go to sleep. I had pains in the center of my chest. If I had the tingly left arm, I knew I was screwed big time. Every time I tried to lay down to go to sleep it felt like a heavy weight was pressing down on me. I tried to remember everything I ate that day. There was no excessive lifting on my part.

Then I remembered that scene from "You Can't Take It With You".In the twenties and thirties, it was very popular cure to drink a bi-carbonate of soda. There were even flavors too. I went to the fridge and followed the instructions. I swear if that didn't work I was all set to let my fingers do the walking. I was afraid of even getting up because I thought that I'd kiss the floor from passing out. All that kept racing through my mind was that without health insurance I'd owe my soul to the hospital. Their outrages prices really aren't their fault. Insurance companies have butted their opinions where they have no right being. Unless the insurance powers that be have gone to medical school, then they need to have a big glass of shut the hell up.

Job searching has been a pain the ass. I'm either underqualified for the jobs I want or there's a must be bilingual in Spanish attached to the job description. Oh well gotta roll with the changes. I finally finished "Devil in the White City". Wow, what a great read! Historical books have always been a passion of mine. Let's face it. I'm a bibliophile.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Words Can Bring Me Down

Yeah I feel like shit. I'm still trying to shake off the rejection of the dream job of the moment. I took it really bad. Two of hours of my day were spent crying. It was the kind of crying that involved my nose. At one point my sinuses just closed up out of sympathy. It helped to slam a couple of door and get angry at the way it ended. You know it would have been better if I had gotten the call on Friday as opposed to Monday. It through my schedule completely off base. It was vanilla ice cream and peanut butter cookies to the rescue.

And in true Monday quarterback fashion Ethel uttered the words that have peppered my memory whenever I experience failure. "I knew you weren't going to get it. I had a dream the night before your interview about it." Goddamn. I can only imagine what it's like to a have a mom be in your corner. She's always been like this when I wanted something for myself that threatened her little world. Screw that. I don't care if I have to carry both of them all over campus. I'm getting myself into graduate school. I'll just have to raise the money another way. I know she said that they'll keep it on file bah ta dah and bah ta dah It's tough to believe in the good of God's work when things don't go your way. In short it sucked to be me big time.

The hardest part of yesterday was dragging myself into the bathroom to get myself ready for the evening events. The last place I wanted to be was somewhere where people were talking about their accomplishments. It was tough but I got through it. I was so drained when I got home. At least I was able to sleep through the night somewhat. I couldn't get ahold of anyone to vent but it's better that way. There's no need to rain on anyone else's parade.Hopefully, I can shake the shit off and be more productive and focused toward other goals.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Hi Ho Hi Ho

Wow what a difference a week makes. I'll start on the weekend and move forward. I never made to the alumni function because I was prepping for the big interview across state lines. Yes there's the potential of yours truly being a bi-state kind of a spinster. I did a trial run of the drive on Monday. I was fifteen minutes late. It served as a good life lesson for me to get myself out the door on time. The drive time was not that bad. It's about the same amount of time I would spend on the El to get to downtown for a gig. The tolls though are quite a bite to the laundry quarters. I was relieved to hear a jazz station of 88.9 which seranaded me on most of my journey. On a whim I stopped by to get information at a local college for classes.

The customer service of the staff simply blew me away. The campus was absolutely goregeous. The houses that surrounded it I'd put on the same level as a Winnetka or a Kenilworth. Holy Cow!!! I really feel it would be a good fit for me. Unlike the first time that I left for college, this time around I'm moving toward something bigger than myself. I met several people who were very pleasant and took time out of their day to give me advice. I was very blessed to have had this opportunity. Janis Joplin said,"Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got." This is a realization that came into play this week in several ways.

First B.J. announces to our parents that he and his family are leaving the state and heading to the coast of the coven. Ethel chose to share this information with me on the morning of my interview. I burst into tears and cried for a half an hour before I got ready to leave. Just gotta love the way Ethel serves it out to me don't you?
I countered that by saying my morning prayers and daily Bible reading. I'm trying to develop that into more of a rountine and for the most part I have been consistent. It's given me a sense of calm that had been so previously lacking in my life. I was blessed to go out to the car and have the good luck of a bird on my car. I was dressed and out of the door on time. In fact I was a half hour early and had time to put gas into the car. I pray gas prices drop for my sake if I get this job. The interview went well. I wasn't used to being under the gun like that but my voice didn't quaver which I was thankful for. I pray that the former bosses come to their senses and give me the proper reference that I deserve. I will not hesitate to consult a lawyer. This baloney has gone on far enough. I really want this job. I am more than qualified for this position. Considering all of the garbage I've had to deal with in the past four years, I'm so due for some good things. Their decision is supposed to be revealed early this coming week. Please pray to the God of your choice that I get this job. Easy readers help me out here. Don't think that I rested on my laurels either. I cranked out so many thank you notes on the same day that it just drained me.

As for B.J.'s relocation, he hasn't talked to me about it. In my heart I wish him well. However, there's part of me that's resentful. It was a year ago that he and Minnie promised ,yes some could consider it an oral agreement, that they would take care of Fred and Ethel so that I could move on with my life. Minnie being Minnie most likely never had ANY intentions of staying Chicago. Her performance is not Academy Award winning material but more of a Razzie of the worst kind. She's a manipulative, compulsive lying, coniving, contradicting, two-faced, _fill-in- your- favorite-expletive. I predict a divorce within a year or when Zach graduates from college. Either way my heart just sobs at the thought of that little boy and the rough road he must travel by himself as a only child. He's such a sweet spirit. It's wishful thinking that I hope he's able to keep it.

This week also brought reconnection of an old friend who had been on my mind. I knew something was wrong and was frustrated that she wasn't returning any of my calls. Unfortunately I was right. She was "laid off". No she didn't deserve it. I can't say anymore about her situation due to legal issues. However I can say this since she no longer works for them. My little nicknames were as follows: _name-of-company_ for morons, _name-of-company_ we don't work so you have to, and the ever favorite,_name-of-company_ we pass the buck till it becomes someone else's penny problem. Overall you were wrong to let her go and not fire the original offender of the problem. I'd disclose that name too but I'll just refer to the persons as Needs to Eat and Needs an Enema.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Shine the light

Well, well, the truth is told. It was another war of the words with B.J. and Minnie. She's pissed off because we went to the movies. Keep in mind she met with everyone else to go to the Old Town Art Fair and did bother to invite me. She shouldn't yell at B.J. just because he wants to compensate for her snubbing me. Yes, keel over and faint I'm defending B.J. Part of me wants to tell her to shove her offer somewhere of doing mock interviews with me but I need the practice.

Yes Easy Readers, yours truly has a job interview coming up. When the call came in I was driving and freaked out trying to find a place to pull over. I finally found a parking lot and returned the call. The initial salary offer was low and after I went to salary.com I got mad. According to their estimations, I was low-balled big time. But as in any situation I'm going in with a open mind. The call was quite providential. I was on my way to register for a summer school cours when my cell phone started ringing while en route. I could find anywhere to stop until I reached a parking lot to call them back. Oh well there's always next semester.

The movie in question was "The Omen". I know, how did scairdy cat me end up in a gives-you-nightmares kind of film? I'd like to give a shout out to the girl in the row behind me who screamed during the gory scenes. Not only did it add to the scariness in the cinema experience, it also helped to know when to cover my eyes for it. I'm no fool. However I did appreciate the closeup shots of the ceilings. Wow, I had no idea that the Colusseum had taken such a beating from the pollution in Italy. It's really rather sad. I hope to get there someday before it bites the dust. I would have rather seen "A Prairie Home Companion". I'm a total NPR nut. I love that Guy Noir is played by Kevin Kline. He's such a versatile actor. He did such a fantastic job in "DeLovely" with Ashley Judd.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Tell Me What's Your Zodiac Sign?

Two in a row. I am indeed blessed by the best!

It's always great to see Uncle Nick and Aunt Nora when they come to town. They bring such good vibes with them. Everyone is one their best behavior. Not any of the usual underlying subtle digs. I really wished Zach could have come out but he's still contagious from the latest TinyTot virus.

In honor of the occassion,Fred made sure we picked up dessert because after all there are no decent bakeries in the sub terranean suburbs where the family event was staged for this evening. We were short a third of the usual number. Some people had work schedule conflict. Then there's Aunt Imogene who just doesn't want to deal at all so she stopped by earlier in the afternoon. It wasn't that much of a shock when her kids were no shows. Their loss.

I could go on and gush on how well everything went. For once my nails and toenails were painted for a family event. Having the extended family behave like decent human beings was the best gift I could ever had gotten. Somehow I felt that Aunt Violet and Grandma StarlaAnn were looking over us. The moon was out early tonight. The drive home was better than the drive there. Even though I didn't make a wish yet I'm sure I'll use it when the time is right.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Being Good Isn't Always Easy

Unbeknownst to me Fred had what is now known as a hypoglycemic attack at 4am. In diabetese, it means your sugar level is too low. Think of the beauty parlor scene in "Steel Magnolias" when Shelby has one while Truvy is doing her hair on her wedding day. He said he didn't want to wake me up. God bless him. He won't bother me for this but has no problem knocking on the door to quiz me about what was on the Hit Parade in the Motherland back in 1952. Luckily we were able to get an appointment. There I had my piece of humble pie served to me by the doctor.

Ethel and Fred had their own turns in the hot seat. At one point it felt like I was tag teaming patients. While I was settling one in the waiting room, I had to get another in to one of the other rooms. There's new technology out now to help them with their sleep apnea. No more face masks. Woo hoo! The latest models are the type where the oxygen can go up your nose and not with the rubber hose.(A piece of Welcome Back Kotter humor for ya)Sometimes modern medicine amazes me.