Modern Day Spinster

The expected definition of a spinster is to just be a single and never married woman. If it were only that simple. I am a daughter, sister, auntie, friend, babysitter, alumna, artist, writer, diva, comedienne, bitch, caregiver, confidante, adviser, stylist, cheerleader, singer, dancer, activist, referee, sinner, saint, lover and occassional dater. Watch as I try to balance multiple spinning plates of relationships, responsibiilities, and reactions to life.

Friday, March 31, 2006

Feed Your Head

I forget that people actually read this blog. I'm sorry there's some shit going down that I may post from days prior but not today. You like me. You really like me.

Hey HP mega corporation, would it have been such an inconvenience for you cheap bastards to have included as USB cable? There would have been room in the box. Trust me.

Yes, today just was not a good day. First there was the argument with Ethel. I'm trying to encourage to take a class at the local Senior Center just to get out of the house. It's not doing her any good to sit there and get numb watching television. I'm just about ready to fly to the motherland and smack around the executives who put such trash on the station ala Three Stooges. Then I tried to finish up laundry and get out of the door before a trip to see someone. I was frantic that I was going to be late. I ended up being early and started reading a book in the waiting room. This woman with some level of down's syndrome comes over to where I'm seated. Next she takes some bracelets out of her pocket and says she wants to give them to me. I politely said no thank you and tried to read my book. She insisted again that I take these bunch of bracelets. Again I said no thank you and she just kept pestering me until I finally thanked her and placed them in the empty chair beside me. I thought it was over and tried to get back to my book. Then this woman with a muted green color sweater tells me I have to pay her five dollars for them. I'm thinking "WTH?". Then I have a flashback to my days of riding the Blue Line and seeing those poor deaf people trying to sell keychains. The local news later discovered it was some kind of slave labor/ indentured servant deal going on with these people. Their captors would beat them on a daily basis if they didn't bring home a quota in sales. Afterwards I told her no that I didn't have it, she just shot me a look and said "You dont?". I said "No I'm sorry I don't." Luckily the receptionist said something about maybe she should try and sell them to her parents the next time she sees them.

I had a good session. I'm going to have to start exercising though. The walk up several flights of stairs is had me out of breath. We just talked about what I wanted to accomplish within the next six months. She asked about what was going on with me and I shared present circumstances. For some bizarre reason I felt the need to share the wedding plans I've made for myself. No I'm not nuts. Just a girl.

Almost every woman has some aspect of the wedding that she wants special. I informed her of my location and how I wanted it intimate. I have no need to do the electric slide or the chicken dance. Although it is kinda funny. When I was 17, one of the Starla's and I talked about what our weddings would be like. I specifically remember telling her that I wanted some kind of blue and white dress because just the white dress is just so ordinary. She told me I was nuts. And this season what is the wedding dress trend easy readers? Eat your heart out Faith Popcorn.

She described my current state of circumstances as something called a double bind. I had never heard of it before. It made total sense. She said that Ethel is keeping me around for companionship because she doesn't want to be left alone with Fred. No kidding. I confronted Ethel on that scam a few weeks ago. Recent topics of discussion for me have also included on how to deal with the aftermath of being left behind after the death of a parent. This is especially a very tricky challenge for most adult children who take care of their parents. Unless there's a proper support system in place, being alone can be a lonely place. I felt it when I would watch Ethel sleep in the hospital room. Relatives can only do so much. Friendships are a challenge to maintain. I lost touch with everyone I knew from high school. But I'm still in a good time frame to reconnect with friends from college that I lost touch with. I totally know I'm going to need help to deal with my head.

For some reason I felt the need to babble on about my family. This was supposed to be ME time. I shocked the shit out of her with what I disclosed. I love my family but their disfunction isn't helping me. I just need to develop a detour route of sorts. At least a few things have been settled as to what I need to work on. I'm putting myself on a schedule of a minimum amount of time devoted to clutter. I did today's.

After my session I stopped off to get gas. Some random dude tried to pick me up. It was hard to keep a straight face because the line was very cheesy. I told him I would pray that he finds a date and his response was to praise Jesus. After watching Oprah show, there's no freaking way I would go out with him. I stopped by a few places and browsed.Of course I forgot my coupons and preferred card.

FYI to Congress, if you bastards decide to sit on the illegal alien issue for another three years, you suck.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

It's no fun being an...

I really struggled with whether I should anything about this situation. Yet again this afternoon I heard the recognizable hacking cough of the old man as he came back to trespass on the property.The day before his son harrassed my father again into doing the "right thing". Um yeah. A big FUCK YOU to you.

I'd like to giva a big shout out to the Dept. Of Homeland Security and the Immigration and Naturalization section. I talked to a lovely lady who gave a phone number and advice. Just in case you ever have to deal with an illegal alien who's been an agressive asshole. Here's what you're allowed to do easy readers:

You have the right to dial 911.

Today was just another lesson in how when I do for others it comes back to me. Ethel decides out of the blue to want to visit her grandson. Well that screws me out of a night doing something for myself since I spent yesterday in laundry hell. Minnie claimed that she was going to take Zach "lollipop shopping" so like an idiot I offered to bring him treats. Minnie kept flipflopping about when and what to wear. My patience was just wearing thin. There was a point where there was so much crap going on I just went and curled up on the couch. Fred got mad at me because I turned off his tape player because it was time to leave. Another lovely verbal assault because I don't take the routes he wanted. I made the mistake of mentioning that after I dropped them off then I needed to pick up the candy. Fred flips out and orders that Jewel will not do because he heard from his buddies that there's a cleanliness issue. Fine. So I drove and tried to find the old candy shop/bakery that I knew when I was kid. Well another one bites the dust and of course it was the start of rush hour. There's was no where to turn until I finally got on California and passed Swedish Covenant. So random creep guy in a school bus yellow SVU followed me for quite a long time. I have no idea what the hell that was about. I finally find a Fannie Mae store and get five dollars worth of lollipops. Then Minnie pages me. Zach's all frantic and waiting by the window. Poor little guy. But it was all about the lollipops baby when I got there. In the meantime he played piano and soccer with the OG's. Then we went outside because it was a beautiful day. We threw the frisbee. We played pretend fishing and hide and seek. It was funny. He kept coming up with suggestions as to where we should hide. Even if Osama did the same thing with Bush, GW still couldn't find his way out of a paper bag. On the upside I found his sunglasses. Fred insisted we leave at the heart of rush hour. Ethel just had to give her side comments. Gee really fucking easy to complain when you're not doing the driving. And to the fucker on Pulaski who cut in front of me with no warning. You're very lucky the only word to come out of my mouth was idiot when you pulled that move. Did you really expect me to pull up beside you so you could have your macho road rage moment? Sorry better luck next time.

In other world news welcome home Jill Carroll. Let us thank her negotiators, our military, the State Dept., and the Iraqis who were able to help her get out of alive.

Monday, March 27, 2006

It's A Miracle

Apparently today was a day for a change in plans. I overheard Fred being threatened by IllegalIone that he's supposed to let her use the address as a free post office box for another month. Bitch I don't think so. The proper authorities will be notified this week.

I stopped by to cheer Zach up. He was sick because a member of the coven was in town. I suspect it's Chuck E. Cheese hangover. We watched Lou Dobbs spin on the illegal immigrant marches. It's wrong that the American media are forgetting to include the words suchs as ILLEGAL and ALIEN as part of the equation. A sick sad suggestion I posed to B.J. was to employ the the ex-cons who have a good shot and have them work border partrol.
Realistically Congress needs to pass measures that hit the corporations in the pocketbooks very hard. Supreme Court needs to overturn the 1981 case that made it a requirement for the United States to educate illegal immigrant children. If you look at the numbers, the amount of dollars that they supposedly pay into the system does not cover the services they use. There have been two amnesties already delivered to illegal immigrants. Let's face it, had our government been more vigiliant in protecting our borders, 9/11 would not have happened. The guest worker program has been in place since World War I. I find it hard to believe that there isn't another option available. Time to put on your thinking caps.

But on the drive home, I did some more thinking on the subject. Regardless of what side of the fence you're on this subject, they are humans and need to be given the dignity they deserve. As bizarre as this sounds I prayed for them then genuflected as I passed by a church.

I stopped by Jewel on the way home because I needed to get something for dinner. Never go into a grocery store hungry. It was so hard not to go after the usual delectable delights. It killed me not to be able to pick my favorite treats. I was tempted but I held strong. I just grumbled about it and went by. Here's where the story is about to get interesting.

It's dark and rainy in Chicagoland. I pull out of the parking lot and head westbound and pass through two intersections. The light was green and I had the right of the way and I stay in the middle lane. As I pass through intersection number two, CellPhoneSteve who was heading southbound decides to make a southwest turn and is beside me. Then he decides to try to ram his car into mine. Why I don't know? Did I do anything to provoke him? No way. Then the next sequence of events made it feel as if I was watching a slow-motion scene in the movie. I can see CPS's aiming his car to hit me and I'm thinking go ahead hit me. But then in a split second something comes over me like it doesn't have to be this way. I slam the carhorn and a swerve over into the empty left lane and go back to the middle lane. In my rearview mirror I can see weaselboy in the far left turn lane of intersection number three. I don't know why it turned out the way it did. I truly felt that someone else was in the car with me helping to turn the wheel.

Whether you think it was my Guardian Angel, Jesus, or God, I felt that I was not alone. What I took away from tonight was that even though someone or thing tries to hurt me, it doesn't mean that it has to throw me completely off course. I can come back to my chosen path.

May God bless you.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Teach Your Children Well

Most of my day was spent being seranaded while I was cleaning. It's laundry a go-go time. I can finally see the floor in my room kinda. Some people may think it was a bad thing that my role model was Oscar Madison.

After confirmation from a friend, it must have been brothers be kind to your sisters week. B.J. and I saw V for Vendetta at the mall who scammed my post without asking me. An excellent screenplay with intelligent dialogue. It surprised me how close another Hitler is possible if we the people of the world don't get our act together. I hate to say that I always get Jennifer Garner and Natalie Portman confused because they look so similar to me. The violent scenes made me squeamish. However the theater left me with a bad taste in my mouth for another reason altogether.

As we were walking up the aisle to leave, I spotted a nutjob couple helping their 3 or 4 year old son with their coat. WTGDFH were they thinking? I doubt the screenwriters intended this film to be viewed by a toddler. There's a rating system for a reason. When it says PG-13 or R, that means that age AND under are not allowed to see it. This parental guidance stuff we all know is a bunch of bullshit. I'm sorry but it is. It isn't about jr. high kids trying to sneak into movies. This is about parents who are selfish enough to bring their kids into a theater with others who either left their kids with a sitter or don't have them and expect us to just deal with it.
No I don't think so. More and more I see this kind of thing happen. Little kids can only handle so much grown up stuff and not have it affect them.

It's being a challenge going on the Lenten diet when Fred and Ethel are eating pork chops and broccoli with cheese. Easter get here I miss meat and dairy.

Friday, March 24, 2006

If you sing a song a day you will make a better way

A headache and a trip to Dr. Junior. Feel the love.I'm not really looking forward stepping out of my comfort zone tonight. But if I can fit everything that I need to do would be great.

I've been having that reoccurring dream about me and the trapeze more and more frequently lately.

11:22pm
Update.Well I did it. I was able to do something for me AND them. I had my teeth cleaned and the hygenist was a riot. She and I got along great. Vicki gave me a great tip on flossing. If you double up on the floss when you're between the teeth you get more out. I need a mouth guard because I grind my teeth. Other fun things I need to have done but I need a job first. Not all of us can marry for the insurance ala Desparate Housewives.

I pampered myself. I got over my case of the grumps real fast. The colorist is a new legal immigrant. She's originally from Kosovo. Yes as in guns, bombs, and big trouble. She ended up in Albania for 2 years waiting for her husband to have her sponsored over with her sons. Her younger son is having a hard time making the transition to the American style playing. Back in the village his kid was used to the old "go out and play" vs the "organized sport route". Poor kid. What was really freaky was that she kept introducing me to people from my tribe. One guy was trying to flirt with me. I was thinking, "Are you kidding me? I look like total crap and he's putting the dog moves on me". Lol. The stylist who was a waspy as Elle Woods said that "Your hair is the bomb ass". WTH? Lol. I took it as a compliment. The manicurist was a total doll. She used to work for the Dept. of Transportation at O'Hare. There was some freaky shit that had gone down. She told a story of a Pakistani woman was stopped and searched. In her luggage was discovered books on how to develop a terrorist cells. Our country is so unprepared. Playing red light, green light, with security is completely stupid. To the schoolbus driver who parallel blocked me so her kid could get something from a store. Thank you for wasting 20 minutes of my time.

I dash home to change. Fred is being all obnoxious about dinner. When I told him I was going out. His face just turned into rage in an instant. But he couldn't say anything because I need to network if were to have cash coming in.

I attended a alumni function. Very nice. As per starlaness, there was the running around looking for clean clothes and nice shoes. Note to self must upgrade. Of course today my instincts decide to be shit and I go in the opposite direction on Meecham Rd. It was a good turnout. I met some new people. Brilliant funny women. I have to get my ass in gear and get my resume done toute de suite. The appetizers are great from what i could eat. I tried to stick to Lenten rules. My heart went out to another PCOS-er. I so wanted so give her the number of my electrologist but I didn't want to say anything. But we talked about the challenges of dating and I admitted that until I went and did something about my problem that I felt very crummy about myself.

After I came home I decided to turn off my profile on a dating site. I decided to add to my growing lists of things for Lent. I'm giving up dealing with emotional fuckwits. I know I have myself to blame for reading into it but who cares? It sucks when someone hurts your feelings.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Promises I Knew You'd Never Keep

Yep, I had a extra special day today. All I want to do it is pull the covers up over my head and stay here. I just don't need a mini-meltdown right now. I was so drained that I almost didn't have the strength for tonight's activities.

My mood wasn't helped any by the fact that before I left I was watching Beyond the Sea with Kevin Spacey. I came across that scene with Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee on their wedding night. I was a puddle of tears. He understood why she felt the way she did without having to say a word. I'm so freakin' tired of having to justify myself to every single potential contestant. Just pick up on the fact, that something happened and be a decent man. Jesus how hard is it to find a man who puts two and two together and gets something. There's no need for the soliliquy. I don't want a new pony. Just accept me as I am. Is that too much to ask?

Add to this the little altercation near the car before I left. It's a wonder I made it to my next appointment on time. Don't fucking lie to me. Stealing mail is a federal offense bitch. Yeah you're broke yet you have a expensive haircut with outfit to match. Last time I checked you didn't win the lottery. You were supposedly leaving the state in a week. According to my calculations, you've overstayed your welcome. No wait a minute you've already done that. Sure Fred said you could do whatever you want. No, I don't think so. Unlike Fred I will not fall for your pity act. I will do my civic duty and handle my business. The party's over for you and the skanky company you keep.

By the time I get to the appointment, I'm a wreck. Of course I forget my book and tissues. Toilet paper never fails. It's good for the front and the back end. I kept getting peppered with so many questions I thought I'd rather have a Pap Smear then go through this inquisition. I fell like a deck of cards. It was not pretty.

Luckily, the drive over for fun wasn't too bad. Zach learned all about Zamboni's. He told me when he grows up he wants to be a baseball player. With the way this kid catches, I think the Cubs could use him now. B.J. said I should let it go. Oh really, you can hold a grudge for over 28 years but I'm supposed to let it go.

The drive home was a disaster. Fred completely took skanky girl's side. Of course Ethel took his side. "She'd never say anything like that. You must have done something to upset her." Holy crap. She doesn't have a degree but because she's a SmugMarried with kids that gives her some special dispensation. I know the commandment says honor thy mother and thy father, but on days like today I wish that God had put in fine print an expiration date.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

It sucks rotten lemons when karma just decides to stick it to you. I know I deserve it but it doesn't mean I have to like it. There are consequences for your actions. I didn't think it would hit me so quick. Trust me when I say I got the message. As the saying goes, vengenance is mine, sayeth the Lord. He's not playing either.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Deja Vu

Today should have been a relatively low key day. The doctors had their patients and neither of my parents were one of them. Instead I had a retail flashback. It's interesting.

It was my first day the auxillary boutique. After shopping there every so often, the manager liked me enough to ask me to volunteer. I thought it would be a good way for me to get my feet wet volunteering wise. I phoned first because when I went in because on Friday it was packed. It had been so long since I worked outside of the home, I'd forgotten that it would be busy. I did have fun. L. was great. I put merchandise on the floor. I sweated like a pig and got dehydrated. I loved every minute of it.

As well, I designed some display cases for them. This time my ass is taking pictures if I do artistic stuff for anyone. Then all hell broke loose. Bigwigs came into the store and informed L., who is salaried, that she was fired on the spot. They meant business. She hugged her co-workers and even me. Her parting words to me were " Don't let what happened to me affect your opinion. This is a good organization." My heart went out to her. I totally KNEW what was going on in her head. It spooked me how it quickly it all went down. In an instant she was gone.

After she was escorted out of the store, the rest of us were just stunned to silence.
If God speaks in whispers I received the message loud and clear. Thou shall stayeth the helleth out of retail management. I got chills about it. When I was fired from my last job, I wasn't given the luxury of saying goodbye to my staff. I was basically threathened that any attempt to contact them would mean forfeiture of my final paycheck. I had no idea how my leaving affected everyone left behind. Life goes on. I'll never forget her.

Then I stopped at the local health food store to pick up Fred some shampoo. I inherited his scalp condition but not the longevity of his hair color. I had quite a interesting conversation with the owner. I had to share what happened with her. She explained to me how she had graduated from a very prestigious university without naming name and admittied in a former life was a teacher. Her opinion bottomline, retail is hell. There will always be a some kind of customers who will never give the salesclerk behind the counter the respect they deserve when they walk through the door. She said,"There are those customers who will always think that we're pond scum." Being open on holidays and weekends is certainly no cake walk let me tell you. I relayed a story about B.J. and I.

One year during the holidays, B.J. and I went to the late show. We got out around 11:30pm. There was a national chain bookstore nearby and it was still opened for business. B.J. mentioned something about how early it was and whether I wanted to do something else. Instead of answering him, I commented how badly I felt about those salesclerks and managers who would have to stay probably long after midnight cleaning and prepping the store so that the morning crew could be ready to go. Then he said, "You know I would have thought to had occurred to me until you mentioned it". No doubt scout.

In other news, he said, "Wanted to say hi/bye before bed". The thought of that made me smile.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

The more I see you

Tonight was a first. I voluntarily gave up a night of watch Grey's Anatomy to chat with him. Shonda Rhimes et al., please accept my most sincerest apologies for causing a dip in the ratings of tonight's episode. It was a tough judgement call but that's why I'll be the first to buy the second season on dvd.

Thank you God for bringing him into my life.

I know it's going to be a lovely day

A rare post today easy readers. I feel blessed and whole. The sun is shining and so am I. The ingredients to this recipe of ease.Here it goes.

Yesterday, after numerous cancellations on both ends Catsmeow and I were able to hang out. It took some doing though. After constant interruptions from Fred and Ethel, I finally put my foot down and said I'm taking some time off. They knew about it well in advance I was going. I planned things so I didn't leave them in a lurch. Everything was okay. There was nothing that couldn't be taken care of on Monday. My cell phone was on as usual. Then the lady in line at the checkout of Osco side decided to ring EVERYTHING in her separately. The line was 5 people deep and we were all thinking wth is this mess. Lol.

Parking is a nightmare on Saturdays. I thought if Chicago's finest saw me do one more drive past them that I was going to get pulled over myself. After 20 minutes I got parking karma. I impressed myself by parallel parking from the left side of the street. It's not easy for me. I'm more used to parking on the right. I couldn't believe the number of condos being built in her neighborhood. Golly, that's going to change the neighborhood. The weather was great. I loved the feeling that the lake was nearby. It brought me back to my Uptown days.

Catsmeow's place is beautiful. She's done a great job decorating it. I'll admit I envy it. If Ethel finds out that Cats reapolstered her chairs that quickly, I'm in big trouble. I LOVED being on the balcony. I don't know why but I've always had a thing for balconies. Is this just a chick thing? Because of her back problem, we spent the afternoon watching Campus Ladies and the very first episodes of The Vicar of Dibley. Dawn French is a great example of a bbw actress who took a role and ran with it. For our dining pleasure Giordano's delivered a deep dish pizza of spinach and pepperoni. Or was it broccoli? It was yummy just the same.

The drive home provided some comedic pleasure. I passed by a place called "Miracle Medical Center". I just started laughing and all of these thoughts for ads just ran through my head. For instance, "Miracle Medical Center - It's a miracle we get paid anything by Medicare." "MMC- no MC Hammer didn't hiccup here." "Miracle Medical Center - It's a miracle we made it through today" "

When I arrived home, I spent some time doing a bit of reading, checking my emails, and wandering over to the chat room. Based on a reccommendation of a online friend, I said hello to someone. That decision sparked a chat session that lasted into the wee hours of the morning. I haven't had a chat like that since college. It was the kind of discussion where you could go on for hours and just share about everything. You didn't have to worry about being judged for what you thought. Yes the internet does give people some source of anonymity and liscense for makeovers without the surgery or the life coach. The arts have poked fun of the cases of mistaken identity for years. But not in this case. He saw me without my makeup. I saw him without his beloved Yankee cap. Anne of Green Gables said it best. I think I met a kindred spirit.

Friday, March 17, 2006

From Glen to Glen


Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

May the road always rise to meet you
May the wind always be at your back
May the rain falls upon your fields
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His hand

My temporary Irish name is Lorna Murphy. You can get yours at Irish Name Generator

A family tradition is to watch "The Quiet Man" on this holiday. This week I've been running into people who went to high school with me. That almost never happens. Usually it's B.J. is the one who's recognized and instantly treated like a rock star. I've gotten used to it and it's okay. Also I started my Lenten service project.

On a side note a moment of silence for the late great Chicago legend Coach Ray Meier. Catsmeow broke the news to me tonight. She mentioned several local newscasters were teary eyed when they read that news. I'm still in shock. He was DePaul University's Men's Basketball Coach for as long as I could remember. He gave of himself to a sport he so very truly loved and volunteered to the community at large in so many ways.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

If They Ask Me If I Could Write A Book

Attention Easy Readers:

This public service announcement will preempt my usual rant so that I may bring you the following notice.

The New Orleans Public Library(New Orleans, LA)

The New Orleans Public Library is asking for any and all hardcover and paperback books for people of all ages in an effort to restock the shelves after Katrina. The staff will assess which titles will be designated for its collections. The rest will be distributed to destitute families or sold for library fundraising. Please send your books to:

Rica A. Triggs, Public Relations
New Orleans Public Library
219 Loyola Avenue
New Orleans, LA 70112

If you tell the post office that they are for the library in New Orleans, they will give you the library rate which is slightly less than the book rate.


To say that I'm a avid reader is a understatement. I know I'm not the only one who loves books out here in blogland. Just imagine if the Harold Washington Library,The Newberry Library, or your local library was flooded out. You would sell your soul to Barnes and Noble, BooksAMillion, amazon.com or eBay to get access to a book. The local library is a place for people to feed their mind and nuture their souls. There hasn't been a time when I've babysat Zach where I haven't read him a story. How can the New Orleans Public Library have storytime for the little ones when they don't have the books? There adults who are trying to keep their wits about them while they struggle to rebuild amiss the chaos. They need their Calgon time too with a good book. Imagine how many books they'd have if everyone just donated one book.

I'm doing my part. Please do yours. Thank you.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Waited By The House Of Fun

-or why my morning was like a sitcom.

I woke this morning at 7:30 a.m. I had my daily dose of "Designing Women" with my morning cup of coffee. I must give a big who gives a shit to "Cheerleader Nation". Lifetime please note that the last thing a grown woman wants to see is a bunch of stage mothers and overbearing parents with their daughters perpetuating stereotypes that early in the morning.

I tried to take a shower but it wasn't easy.
(Attempt #1) Ethel knocks to say she needs me to change her colostomy bag so that didn't happen. I mention I'm going to take a shower and to hold all junior emergencies until I step out.
(Attempt#2) Fred knocks and is in a total fit because it was supposedly my responsibility to pick up paperwork from the bank. This is paperwork he said he wanted to handle himself. I explain that I need to take a shower and will be more than happy to handle it after my appointment today.
(Attempt #3) Ethel knocks on the door to let me know B.J. is coming over because he wants she and Fred to come over because Coven and Co. are in town. I was supposed to babysit. So I called Minnie to doublecheck if I'm still needed. This past Monday and Tuesday visits to see Zach were cancelled because the brooms crossed international airspace.
(Attempt #4)Peace in the valley,I'm just about to turn on the water when the phone rings. I almost injure myself trying to get to the phone which of course I didn't get to in time. Guess who easy readers? Message was "Gee I forgot about that". My services were no longer needed. It really curdles my cream when Minnie pulls this bullshit with me. She plans her days out the wazoo but finds it totally acceptable to treat me like Lastminute Lucy. It's not like she doesn't know when the coven comes to town. They're such pennypinching old crabs they plan way in advance for cheap tickets. Not to confuse them with being a cheap trick. But I digress.
(Attempt #5)Finally in the tub, naked, and the phone rings. This time it's a good phone call. I called to make a appointment with a clinic last week. They said they'd get back to me as soon as they could. That was today. I answered the usual questions. My slot is sometime next week. When admin asked me about my marital status I almost answered spinster.
By the time I finally hit the shower it was noon.

I had just enough time to eat lunch and go to my appointment. She was running 15 minutes late which threw my schedule off. But I don't mind because she does such a good job and is so nice. She made an interesting point about what was going on with me. They wouldn't be so disrespectful of my time if what I did involved a W-2 form. By the time I leave there and head to the special grocery store to pick up food for Ethel I get home about five o'clock. Every hybrid car driver I encountered on the road was a total jackass. I'm glad you're eco-friendly but it doesn't give you special dispensation to ignore the rules of the road.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Wave Your Hand In The Air Like You Don't Care

Today was the day to dye the Chicago river green to start the St. Patrick's Day festivities. There's a auction where people can been to be in the official boat to let the dye go. It's vegetable dye so activists can relax. Never mind that officially isn't until next Friday but that's cool. The northside parade was today and southside parade is tomorrow. I still haven't made it down to the southside one yet. It's on my list of things to do.

Alas my tooth chipped. No clue how that happened either. One minute my tongue is rolling around in my mouth and it discovers something is missing. I'm so lucky that our pharmacist is honest. I was all set to spend major cash and he said it wasn't necessary. Why can't more people be like this? It reminds me of that scene in Designing Women where Mary Jo says, "It's for all the women who've ever gone to a mechanic, opened their purse, and just said here." I cannot wait until I'm in a better financial position to get the dvd of the seasons. Believe it or not the old time ABC "Afternoon Specials" are out on dvd. Oh yeah they'll make about the same difference as they did with us. Lol.

If you call a medical office and they say we'll get back to you as soon as you can, five hours later does not give me a good impression. I know it was a Friday but isn't it a bit early to get your St. Patty's Day groove going on people.

Yes I've been very neglectful easy readers. I've been doing some soul searching as to what I should give up for Lent. At first I thought extra dietary restrictions but that just makes me more bitchier than usual. Then I thought I'd be nicer to my family and I've chilled on some things but nah. Finally I've learned that community service is a option available similiar to first time offenders. www.volunteermatch.org is a great place to go if you feel the need to get active.

Oh mighty God, please let me get a job that has medical, dental, vision, and a tuition remimbursement. I'd ask for a new constentant but that would be pushing it.