Ain't No Hollaback Girl

As April draws to a close I can only say this. WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally a new episode of Grey's Anatomy. I was so happy I clapped at the end. I found it very pivotal. It dealt with alot of issues pertaining to women. The way the message was conveyed was at times very subtle. Next week proves to be even better. Meredith confronts McDreamy about possibly being called a hoochie.

I could go on about what I loved about this episode. The substory of womens'abortion rights was absolutely fascinating. Everyone could relate to the moment where Dr. Montgomery-Shephard does exactly what the patient wants then the patient denies ever discussing it with her. The lady who wanted her tubes tied was a manipulative bitch. It sucks when you get screwed over like that when you try to help someone out. I'm no saint by any means but still.

I'm Miss World

Damn it. This is the third time my post has been eaten so the new title of my post is in honor of Hole.

Actually I had a pretty good day. I rearranged my schedule. I met with Dr. Pusher. I was able to communicate like a grown up and not rattle on like sputtering muffler. I kept my boudaries up and said no when it got personal. He said he was busier than usual today. I jokingly mentioned some mentally ill people have an aversion to sunny days which is why he had an increase in foot traffic. It's along the lines of the full moon theory.

I had the best parking karma.I was able to find a spot on Columbus Drive. I love the new paybox system. But an improvement would be to put a change machine with it. I was freaking out trying to find change to feed the thing. I hauled ass to get to the book symposium. If anyone finds a lung on the Jackson Blvd., it's mine. I so have to start exercising on Monday. I was disappointed to find Ms. Baldacci had already left. That was the initial reason I drove downtown. On the flipside I talked with a fellow alum who's book's film option has been bought. I won't divulge who it is either. But as it always happens on the day I look like crap, I get a photographed. Of course this never happens when I have my full makeup gear and coordinated outfit on.

I was able to find replacement locks for the mailboxes in a obscure shop in Glenview. Yes easy readers Illegal Ione is up to her old tricks. This time she's trying to use my apartment. I'd divulge her name but I'm saving that for the emails I'm writing to my senators. I had moments of lucidity when I was listening to Milt Rosenberg's radio show.

It was a open forum. Rosenberg was nice enough to play the Spanish version of the Star Spangled Banner. At first listen, it creeped me out. I thought it was disrespectful. Then he gave the American translation and I felt better. One of the lines is "the time has come to break the chain". If they want to express themselves and use our anthem as a base for interpretation, from a artistic standpoint I have no problem with it. However I do find it hypocritical that President Fox of Mexico has declared it a felony for anyone to enter his country illegally. Pot have you met kettle?

The only thing that made me go omfg is one caller who boasted that his family has been using illegal farm workers for over forty years. WTH??? His family should so be stone cold busted and fined until their great grandchildren pay their debt off. Shame on them.

Regardless of what side of the protest you're on, Daley has the best seat of all. He'd rather go to the Middle East than deal with the protest march going on Monday. Can you blame him? I disagree with the decision not to let Chicago policemen wear riot gear. It's wrong to not let them protect themselves. They are putting their lives on the line. All it takes is for one jackass to yell fire in a crowded theatre for all hell to break loose. I pray it's a peaceful protest and without injury to anyone.

Don't Patronize

Jeez I watch one movie and I turn into Sniffling Sadie. It wasn't the type of crying where you're blubbering and your body is shaking. This was totally different at least for me anyway. After the film was over, I just started getting my breath back. With every inhale and exhale, my tears just flowed out. It felt very cathartic. It's seeing films like this that remind me that there are good guys out there and not all complete asshats.

I've been quite productive on the the "Hey I have too much crap" Tour 2006. I packed up 6 bags full of stuff that I could care less if I ever saw again. Having emotional attachment to things can really mess with your mind. Some memories are good but others just bring you pain. There's no logical reason to sit with shit that just makes me relive things over and over. There's no benefit in the big picture.

In other adventures of clarity, Minnie has been super nice to me lately. Frankly, it's creeping the hell out of me. I liked it better when it was just a silently mutually agreed hate-hate relationship. She put on quite a show when one of her "friends" came over the other day. Minnie hugged me in front of her. Dollars to donuts if her friend wasn't there, I fucking guarantee that little scene wouldn't of happened. Her friend's adopted daughter has quite the attitude.We all sat down to dinner. I put two tablespoons of white rice on my plate. That little snot point blank says ,"You shouldn't take so much." Inside I was fuming. I thought,"WTF?? Who the hell are you? You little shit." Had it been a teenager or older I would have totally gone off. Her mom apologized profusely but I was hurt just the same.

Oprah had a episode where some mom thought it was perfectly acceptable to allow her toddler daughter to view Victoria's Secret catalogs and other beauty magazines. Now the three year old has a negative self image complex. That wouldn't of happened if she had MS, Bitch, and Bust on her coffee table. Meryl was quite impressed with my patience with her daughter and Zach. She must have lit quite a fire under Minnie because this morning there was a message from her on the cell. I wonder how other people deal with empty compliments. It just smells so obviously like bullshit. Her mood is most likely on the upswing since I'm taking care of some things for her.

The family function went off without a hitch. Fred even got ahold of one of his brother's from the Motherland. They chatted for over a hour. It gave me time to help pick out Ethel's outfit. She just didn't plan it this year. It really surprised me because she usually does these things way in advance. In a one small step for me, one giant leap for the bullied kids. I stood up for myself. One particular cousin likes to tease me about something I did when I was oh twelve and he still got his kicks from it. At the family event he tried to bring it up yet again. He said "Don't you remember what you used to say?" I said,"I'm lucky if I can find a pair of matching socks. You expect me to remember something that I said when I was twelve?" I have no clue whether it was my tone, body language or facial expression that shut him up pretty damn fast.

During the dessert hour, Zach met his other cousins. He got jealous because they were getting the attention from the extended family. He decides to hide behind the bar. I tried talking to him about it. He complained that he wanted to be with his friends. I told him he needed to learn to get along because they are his cousins. He said, "I'll learn how to get along better with them tomorrow". Overall he had fun. Frick and Frack were adorable.

But no family function wouldn't be complete with a couple of jabs from those who supposedly love me. This years pearls of wisdom. "Isn't it funny how some kids gravitate toward people?" Frick and Frack don't see me as often as Zach does so it makes sense that they don't know me. They made a total beeline to Minnie because they saw her playing with her son. In their eyes,they know that she's trustworthy because she's a mommy. Minnie just ate up all of Blank's comments. Oh gag me with a big spoon please. DP and one of the Starla's are dating but keeping it on the downlow. Those type of conversations were avoided so not to jinx their chances. I wonder which of them will get down the aisle first. Minnie was insistent on wanting to pinpoint babysitting dates.

DP snidely said,"Gee I wish I had the free time to babysit".Oh bugger off bitch. Your life is so hard. Gee I wish my parents would buy me a condo in Lincoln Park, furnish it with brand new everything and a fully loaded SUV of my choice. Quit complaining that you didn't get the job you wanted. With the job market being what it is, Trixie-type jobs are hard to get. You'll upgrade when you can stab someone in the back. After all you can rely on Minnie to do your homework for you forever.

I forgot to mention.I totally went all out on Zach's "Easter Bunny" basket. Too overboard I'm afraid. I'm well stocked for plastic eggs and plastic grass for next year. I'll be so relieved when East and West are on the same page next year.

I really would have liked to have gone out tonight but I feel that I would better spend my time just heading it up and moving it out.

It's A Family Affair

Due to technical difficulties, yesterday's post was deleted. But I 'll bring you up to speed as to what is going on with me. This weekend is the celestial soiree with the extended family. I'd rather get a Pap Smear and my legs waxed that attend this family function. KT laughed so hard that she apologized to me. I said it dead pan which probably added to the humor of the statement.

Unless some divine intervention occurs immediately. It will just be a minimum of five hours of me cringing inside everytime the following phrases at uttered at me.
"Gee we thought you'd be married by now."
"You'd be so much prettier if you lost the weight."
"(fill in the blank) is so happy since she (fill in latest accomplishment courtesy of her family's finances)"
"We really should get together. There's someone I'd like you to meet."

There's the old adage. Pins and needles. Needles and pins. A man who is happy is a man who grins. This will be my mantra for the entire function.

It Just Takes Some Time

To the Easy Reader from Texas: Howdy! I hope all of the pages you read were able to help you get to sleep. Perhaps they reminded you that your life isn't off the beam as mine.

Can I tell you how much I love the interlibrary loan system? It's pure genius. To be able to find what you need and have it transferred for local pick up is just wonderful. I know it's been around for awhile but it still puts a smile on my face to find what I'm looking for.

Why is it that milk and cereal can't run out at the same time? Today it was soy milk's turn to run out after I had the right amount of Aldi Bran Flakes in the bowl. I swear it's a conspiracy. It's like the hot dog and hot dog bun company are in cahoots to make sure that you don't have a equal amount. What is up with that?

Last night was the end of a era. Gilmore Girl's little Lane got married last night. It's been awhile since I've been a consistent viewer. I was glad I was able to catch it. It was hilarious to watch Lane's mom go nuts because her mom came to town for the wedding. I can't remember the exact line but Lane summed it as follows, "Who knew I was part of a cycle of deception?". It killed me.

'Till touchdown brings me around again to find

As a former smoker, I never pulled some of the obnoxious moves that occurred to me this afternoon. Snooty Sally was on her cellphone and flicking ashes out of her window without a care. Cars were swerving thisway and thatway to get away from her path. It pissed me off that her ash hit the car. I had to close Ethel's window because Sally was such a selfish driver. I had enough and when I caught up with her I expressed myself, "Quit using the road for your free astray and keep it in your car(insert your favorite expletive)" We went on our merry way without incident and Ethel was able to get some fresh air before the dentist did his magic. Who knew that a knowledge of tequila shots would come in handy in the dental industry?

It great to know that other people have the same problem I do. You start one project and interruption after interruption follows. Suddenly job A becomes job Z in the wink of an eye.

Hucky schuckles I really have to get stuff done.

One For You ,19 For Me

I find it very fitting that today the jury in the George Ryan case busted him on all of the 22 counts. It wasn't a surprise that a appeal is already in the works. The only reason he abolished the death penalty was to avoid the stroll himself. The big trouble will begin when the people who obtained their liscense under the table go back for a renewal.

Fred wanted his paperwork done in the morning. We were almost in the clear until he opened his mouth and started to play the what-is-your-ethnic-background with the clerk. I was grateful that she didn't get offended by what he said. By the time I was at the stores there was barely any Easter stuff left. I guess I missed the action because in the aftermath two purple plates were damaged. Filene's Bridal sale had nothing on the messes I saw at one store.

A trip to the cinema was to see Scary Movie 4. I gave a 2.5 stars out of 4. Part of the reason was because the first theater had the film break which caused a roadtrip to a second location. I had no idea that they would rip Tom Cruise a new one. South Park's drama is nothing compared to what went on in that film. It would have brought a bigger laugh would been to have the Oprah character just yell at him for jumping on the furniture. It's wonderful that Chloris Leachman is finding work that brings her back to the screen. She was great in Spanglish.

Here's a psa to the parents that brought a baby, yes I said baby barely 4 months old, and the grade schoolers: GET A SITTER. Here's a thought. If it's Easter why not choose to reflect on the day with family. To the dudes who thought texting during the film could not be seen. Hey guess what? The glare was obvious to several people when you're waving it in the air like you don't care clueless.

I did love the preview of the new Wayans'family film. Their team did a great job and everyone was laughing hard.Is it really necessary to remake The Poseidon? Part of the reason that it worked so well the first time was it involved film legends such as Shelley Winters. Funny how no one with her body type was cast for the film this time around. The Omen remade again? Gee will the ending be any different? Are the ideas really that bad or did the new screenwriters cheat their way through college? Remarkable.

I loved that Ravinia has their schedule out already for the summer. I'm practically salivating at the thought of Elvis Costello, Lyle Lovett, Etta James, Patti LaBelle, BoDeans, Itzhak Pearlman, and a cast of thousands coming to town. I'm giddy with anticipation.

Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off,Start All Over Again

Blogger you suck. I had just finished hitting the draft key and directed me to a place that said the following blog you can't be found. Grumble bumble.

It was mostly likely divine intervention that my morning post was lost to cyberspace. B.J. was kind enough to take Ethel to see a family friend in the hospital. Virginia's resilience astounds me. This is her fourth surgery to fight cancer. When she saw Ethel,Virginia said she was going to get better so they can trip back to the motherland together. As Ethel was telling me this in the car on the way home from B.J's ,I was truly touched by Virginia's tenacity. This time around they removed Virginia's lung.

I was frustrated that there hasn't been enough research done towards woman's health. I didn't understand why they couldn't have caught the cancer sooner. Even with this last surgery, her likelihood of survival of even a year is a long shot. If that is the case why not just let her live out her final days as best as possible. Instead of her grandchildren having their last image of grandma from a hospitable bed, it should be with them baking cookies. Ethel tried to get all bummed about it. But I gave her back her own advice. Isn't it you who taught me that God has a plan for each and every one of us? We are not left to fend for ourselves. He is with us every step of the way. Throughout our triumphs and failures he is there to give us humility or mercy as he sees fit.

Perhaps it was fitting that I finally got around to watching Schindler's List while I was folding laundry. It's amazing what the power of one person can do. The most touching scenes were at the end when Mr. Schindler breaks down after receiving the gift from his former employees. He looked at it and thought about what else he could have done to save more people. Also the end when the real life survivors placed rocks on the top of the real Mr. Schindler's gravestone.

As well A Day Without A Mexican showed what would happen if one ethnic group left California. Arbritrarally picking one ethnicity is wrong. But 9/11 would not have happened if those with expired visas were ejected in a timely manner. I still say corporations that have illegal alien labor need to be hit very hard in the pocketbook. Shame on previous sessions of Congress for not addressing this problem sooner. As well the fees in place for those if given supposed amnesty are joke. 1k is chump change when compared to the financial drain that is on our nation. Using recycled landing plates from the Gulf War as a border does about as much good as using surplus government cheese.

My Whole Life Spins Into A Frenzy

Dear Karma,

Thank you for putting me in my place. No, I really mean that. A dose of humility does the soul good every so often.

Because of what happened, today officially sucks for me. Oh let me share the joy of the past 24 hours.
1. From 9 to 5 yesterday, I babysat my nephew at the very last minute so Minnie could go to a gig in the land of Shlamiel and Shlamazel. Nevermind the fact that she could have asked any of her friends who she trolled with over the weekend. Okay she gets back at noon the same day, starts bitching at me about why I'm there, about B.J. etc.... Her acting skills are so bad they deserve of a Razzie Award or at least a raspberry. Zach and I had fun for the most part. My only concern that alarmed me was that he started to tell me that sometimes his mommy yells at him. I asked why she would do that and how does that make him feel. He tells me that his mommy told him he's not supposed to talk to anyone about it anymore when she does that and to not talk to me about his feelings. I played it straight and didn't bring it up to her or B.J. Of course those two were all overly sweet in front of me, I thought I'd get a toothache. Yet again Sissie "won" a gig somewhere. Oh yeah and somehow Minnie has never gotten a paycheck in the all of the time she's worked for this flimflam operation.
2. Because I had to stay 'till 5pm., I missed attending a meeting that I had been really looking forward to. As well I was not Ethel's favorite person because I was unable to complete the list of things she and Fred wanted me to do. Those were put on today's to do list.
3. After I came back from M.,Ethel was all hot and bothered for me to go to the post office. For some reason I felt like I was supposed to be doing something else. I couldn't remember. I start to check my cell phone messages from yesterday since I was too busy to answer them from the day before. That was a big mistake. Dr. Penny's office was calling to confirm for today's appointment. Yes easy reader's after having a near spotless record for four years, I dropped the ball. While I was out, his office also called Fred and Ethel as well as spoke to Fred who never shared this information with anyone. However it all hit the fan, after I called the office and they tell me we missed the appointment. I just felt lower than dirt. They tell me they tried talking to Fred and he was his usual belligerent self. I tried talking to him about it. His response was the expected verbal abuse with the last parting shot of "I want you out of my life". Oh if it were only that easy.
4.Add to the mix, Ethel blabbing to B.J. what a fuckup I am. It's really nothing new. Of course I denied that there was an appointment. Fred's mood swing was already on the dark side. I'm summoned to the phone for my lecture. B.J. tells me "I'm interfering in mom and dad's marriage and that I need to butt out." Gee why didn't I think of that? I could of have a V8 too.
5. Fred and Ethel were mad at me because I choose not to eat what they do. I'm trying to adhere to a strict Lenten diet and it doesn't help when they have the good food in front of me. It would be so easy to cheat and deny it but I don't play like that.
6.The job that I was hoping to get was given to someone else. I blew it.

I've been craving a cigarette and would have done some retail therapy or binge eating if I were in a better financial position. It could have been worse. I'm grateful for small favors.

Can You See The Real Me?

It's a sunny day out today. The temperature is decent. But my heart is so heavy. There'll be a a few film references. Since I'm feeling a bit selfish, it will be up to whoever wants to take the extra step to go to . That's stands for the International Move Data Base. Nine times out of ten I'll always invert the d and b. Perhaps an easy way to remember is to think of that actor D.B. Sweeney. Not to be confused with Sweeney Todd.

This morning I woke up and Ethel is watching a film that has the following quote "Do not let your past dictate who you'll become but let it be a part of who you are". I apologize if I butchered the quote. I'm in the doghouse because the Dish isn't cooperating and of course it's my fault. I'll have to say last night SNL put an interesting spin on the immigration issue. Assimilation into this country is not easy for first generation children such as myself. There's a fine line you have to walk and sometimes you fall off of the highwire. I can remember as a child I had my school me of sorts. However the minute I walked up the stairs and through the door you felt as if you were transplanted back to the Motherland. At times it's been a blessing and other times a curse. I had a friend visiting from Missouri. The very minute she stepped into my parents kitchen I'll never forget what M. said. "It feels like I'm in a scene straight out of the "Godfather". " Well you can guess how I felt about the whole thing.

I thought I'd be able to be productive and go through some clutter watching this afternoon's matinee. Instead I cried through the whole thing. I didn't reach for a kleenex until afterwards because I didn't want to waste any. It's a old Hallmark classic,"Miss Rose White". I was so surprised that I couldn't find it at the local Hallmark where they had so many other titles on dvd. I had to have the library do an interlibrary search to find it. But they did and it was on VHS. I struggle so much with trying to find my place in the world. How many days I've wished I was someone else and somewhere else? I've stopped taking count.

There are those days when I feel I could pass for Waspy Betty. On more than one occasion I've been told by certain people in my ethnic background that I don't look like one of them. I certainly have the education. The skills I didn't learn along the way via a trial by fire, I picked up in a book. However there's only so much a book could teach you. When I was younger I was so angry at my mom. There were so many things I needed to know and because she didn't grow up in a urban environment she didn't know the answers. Looking back now I know it wasn't her fault. It didn't help that the relatives I could have gotten advice from where either selfish, manipulative, or ignorant themselves. But I feel I'm forever playing catch up with everyone else. It hurts and it sucks. I think I've hit the threshold of being told x amount of times. Sorry you just don't measure up.

I understand that in the acting industry women are constantly undergoing makeovers and physical transformations so they can earn a paycheck. I've always wanted to ask. Is selling your soul really worth it to get what you want? There's a certain actress that People did one of those pictorials over the years to show how the person changed. The very obvious was the she got a nose job and colored contacts. I guess I'm a hypocrite for thinking the way I do. The flipside is embracing who you are flaws and all. Go out easy readers and see "Phat Girlz" starring the ever fabulous M'onique. If you feel like learning more then go out and get "Skinny bitches are evil".

Then there are the days when I feel I could be back in the Motherland living the agrarian life. I know had my parents not decided to come here I would most likely have been stuck in some god-awful arranged marriage and had ookabillion children by now. I thought the balancing act was supposed to be easier not be made worse.

It's not that I'm not grateful for what blessings I do have. I just don't know what my purpose is in the big picture. I've been praying alot about which direction I should take. I just afford to make anymore mistakes. Sometimes I think you're only given so many chances. and then you're kinda stuck with what you've got. Please tell that I'm not stuck here. I'm not looking for a greener backyard. The Jones' can do as they please. I just want a different kind of place.

Where did you come from baby?

OMG my allergies are the worst. I have no idea what the mold/pollen count is out there. It's okay Mother Nature if you decide to tone it down. I've been a itchy eyed, runny nose, and tissue in front of my face type of lady.

I thought I was going to die when I forgot my mini-stash of Kleenex with me to the doctor's office. It was a two hour fun fest in the waiting room while Ethel was getting her teeth fixed. I really can't complain though. I was able to tackle 49 pages of "The 5 people you meet in heaven" by Mitch Albom. Before that I got my dose of Oprah and her debt diet. This was the first time Ethel was ever late for an appointment. I was shocked when she wasn't ready. But I didn't follow my usual routine either. I was still mad at Fred after what happened yesterday. I didn't feel like dealing with his shit that early in the morning. But I also overslept too. It is a rare thing for me to do these days.

On the drive over, Ethel filled me in on some things. I found out that when I left to go take books back to the library. Illegal Ione was back again harrassing Fred. Dammit. It's bad enough that the Senate wants to pass the stupidest illegal amnesty program yet. This time around they are giving extra bonus points to squatters who have lived in this country for five years or more. But less than that you have to leave. Yeah right. Certain days it appears member of Congress are just a bunch of overpaid jackasses. I'm writing my state senators about this topic. I'm sorry you don't have to go home but you sure as hell not staying here. This claim that our country would come to a standstill without them. Guess again. There's a little thing called temp agencies. These places and oh the unemployment office could very easily fill their positions with people who would be required to be paid a decent wage. It's a matter of supply and demand. Do the math.

It Just Take Sometime

Woo hoo!!! My toity has a new cushy seat. The adjustable wrench is my new favorite invention. I was able to clean 3/4 of the bathroom. Bathtub you're about to get served.

Some of you loyal easy readers may have noticed something a bit different. That comes courtesy of someone ,who was pointed out to me by a easy reader, as a person who may have the notion of taking my ideas and pimping them out for profit. The pen may be mightier than the sword but nothing says loving like hitting your bank account with a subpoena.

I didn't mean to linger that late tonight. It makes sense to have it structured that way. Oh my, that guy was sooooo annoying. Yelling at the very people who want to help you won't solve anything. It hurt my feelings when she said it was a eyesore. The neighborhood didn't start out that way.

I Think I Missed Again

Oh just lovely. Lovely. Lovely. Lovely.(conjuring the voice of Blanche Devereaux).

This gray day just matches my grumble mumble Monday mood. I do appreciate the lack of respect this early in the day. Job starts immediately. Why does thinking aobut everything I want to do give my stomach these violent inspirations of dry heaves? Maalox, economy size please.

But on the upside, Grey's Anatomy. OMG. I had no idea that was Chris O'Donnell. He looks great as a grownup. Congrats again to Shonda Rimes for using locals such as O'Donnell and Laurie Metcalf. She gave a excellent performance last night. I love that they featured the main actresses knitting on that episode. Isn't most artwork created out of a place for channeling frustration? Hmmm, that gives me an idea.

I swear if I have one more legal thing to deal with I will march myself down to Stanley Kaplan and take a prep course for the LSAT.Unfreakingbelievable. And in the handygirl's delight, who knew that replacing a toilet seat took that much work. No wonder plumber's are paid so much. The bolts are just giving me a run for my money. But I'm on to you. W-D40 will kick your ass.

1,2,3,4, Pressure

If ever there was a Maalox moment it's about oh NOW.

I woke up from a nightmare this morning. The type of building I live in was declared unsafe. We had 30 days to vacate the premises. It was some kind of mass exodus to places unknown. I don't know what it means but it I don't like it.

Add to that feeling,I made certain discoveries while doing research that gave a feeling like I've just had the rug pulled out from under me. I just love how sometimes my mind doesn't think. Don't you just wish you could Harold and the Purple Crayon your way out of certain situations. I only have myself to blame. I should have dug deeper sooner. Ah yes, the girl most likely to be a day late and a dollar short.