Homeward Bound

This morning is a mixture of emotion. Today Mrs. Coretta Scott King has left this world and bound for glory in heaven. This remarkable woman was a beacon of hope after her husband was asassinated at such an early age. Her raised her four children and this nation's consciousness to believe that civil rights can be acheived with the use of non-violence. She set aside her own dreams as a classically trained opera singer to work alongside her husband in the struggle of injustice. Every time I ever saw in a interview or in a photograph, she always presented herself as a very classy lady. Our world is a bit sadder for her being gone. I'm even more saddened to know that she had ovarian cancer and the cancer won. My heart goes out to her children. I know what is like to be a child who has a mom dance with the devil of this cancer. The alternative treatment I'm told that she was seeking was actually not in her best interest. Dr. Curious told me a story of how one of his patients went to a place like where Mrs. King was located in Mexico. His patient was given caffeine enemas claiming this would stop the cancer. This treatment only served to accelerate the cancer and died 3 months later. If we're in NAFTA then let's bust the chops of doctors south of the border who aren't qualified as well. I believe in holistic treatments and they are best administered by someone who is qualified and certified legally. I really hope that this time the big three wake up and televise her funeral.

In the same post I need to ask for prayers for another young lady who has gone missing. Jennifer Kesse has been missing for over a week. Most likely when the FBI gets involved the national coverage will begin. There is a reward for her capture. If you'd like to help go to this link and post a copy of this missing person's flyer at your nearest grocery, library, homeless shelter, or place of worship.

Afternoon Delight

Get your mind out of the gutters, easy readers! Today I was good. I drove Fred and Ethel to spend the afternoon with Zach who was home with bronchitis. His cough sounded like he needed to cut his 5 pack-a-day habit. Poor thing.

He was so excited to see us. He peeked through the mailbox slot on the door. He made sure we didn't get passed him without getting a hug first. My parents loaded with him with the junkfood jackpot of cookies, graham crackers, and chocolate. If we had gotten marshmellows we could have made smores. But I made sure that B.J. put the snacks away or else the sugar shock would have been too much. I completely dropped the ball and forgot to bring my books for reading time and some cute animal stickers.

Never fear though,one of the coven's brooms touched ground recently to nanny him while Minnie was out of town and loaded him up on stickers. The was the rule of fashion today. Fred, Ethel, and I were decorated in an array of stickers featuring animals and construction equipment. We banged spoons on a empty coffee can and metal bowl respectfully. He was very impressed that I could balance a spoon on my nose with no hands. Too bad I can't list that as one of my strengths when I go in for job interviews.

We read books, giggled, and danced all together. He pointed out that it was snowing to Grandpa very excitedly. He wanted to take out his sled so bad. From the window, Zach and I watched the snow fall to the ground. He asked why the snow just stuck to the ground. I told him because it was warm enough that the snow turns into water to help the plants grow. He looks me right in the eye and says "WOW, THAT'S AMAZING". Then he proceeded to run around in circles.

One thing irked me. When Zach was showing off his room, he was able to remember every gift the member of the coven had gotten him to a t.However the gifts that my parents and I gave him were given by "his grownup friends". I asked him who said that. He said mommy. He said this in front of me and my mom. Her face looked how I felt. Inside I was devastated and hurt. I can only what kind of verbals digs are being said at my parents or mine expense in front of this impressionable child by Minne et al.. Hey I guess I should consider myself lucky that the gifts were kept at all. Since our gifts to him are usually the ones that get threatened to be tossed out first when he misbehaves, no wonder he doesn't have an attachment to them. I just have to shake my head and be grateful for any time we get to spend with him.

He listened to Grandpa make animal noises. Zach reminded Grandma that couches are for sitting and NOT for taking naps. We all got a break from Zach when we each took turns playing hide-n-go seek with him separately. The little sneak tried to open his eyes when counting but I busted him on it.

When it was time to leave, he was sad but without any coaching he gaves us hugs and thanked us for coming.

And Daytime to Every Purpose Under Heaven

A caveat presented itself and I didn't understand it until now. As I was about to go checkout I came across audiobook entitle, "What to do when God doesn't answer your prayers". I thought I was doing a good thing by not getting it. Not good at all.

Laundry couldn't get done because Miss Laundry Supreme hogged it all day. I tried accessing a website I found on the book "Now Discover Your Strengths". I called to find out why. I was told I had to buy the book in order to receive the pamphlet, that gives the code, that let's you access the site. That chased the rat, that ate the malt, that lived in the house that Jack built.

Then Fred announces that he's going to see Dr. Curious tomorrow because HE was invited. Okay, last week I get lectured that Saturdays are days from hell and NOT to come into the office. As well I'm NOT supposed to call him because I'd be bothering him.

I couldn't get hold of supervisors of places. ALL were in meetings. On the flipside, I missed Minnie's call (everybody say "Awwww..),it must not have been important because she didn't hotline the in-laws either. Then I found out plans for a visit were rescheduled but the excuse is valid. In the bigger picture it's better for her focus her energies on the situation at hand. It's a doozy. Please pray that all works out for those involved.

Dear Dr. Phil and staff,
When you say you're giving something away for free, common sense would be to tell your website kings and queens to back it up so the site doesn't crash. I knew it was coming so I just laughed when it happened to me. I didn't laugh when my order for the item kept being interrupted by the cybergods. Also the site with the free product has sold out but no one bothered to update it. Not cool but I'll get over it.

She Dreams In Colors, She Dreams In Red

"It's another shitty day in paradise"-Uncle OG

Yesterday was bad because the little thugs came back looking for me. They were roaming the halls dumbfounded and loud. I stood with my ear pressed to my door."I KNOW she's lives here, man. Her car is out there." Thank God my neighbors came in when they did and stopped any ideas they had in mind.

This morning I awoke with a migraine and a anxiety attack. Nothing was working until I took a hot shower. I was proud of myself. I was able to communicate to Ethel that my irritableness had nothing to do with her.

It was a trip to Dr. Penny. On the road,Ethel was finally getting the jist of what B.J. and I have been telling them all along. The neighborhood has dramatically changed and the unfortunate element can no longer go unnoticed.A change in location might be a good idea for them.

I was trying to justify in my head to stay home because I was still scared to go out at night. I thought about it then I got angry. I'm not going to let them get the best of me. I noticed that mace had expired and thought it would be easy to replace after I returned my books to the library. From there the joy resumes.

I finished Skywriting by Jane Pauley. It's a great read. I love autobiographies for that reason. You're able to get into someone's soul and see a side that the cameras can never do justice. When you paint an image, it's you conveying to the viewing how you interpret the inatimate object during a particular place and time. She recommended a book about your strengths which I found and was taking out of the library. Since I'm going to start going on interviews fairly soon, I always get flustered when the what-are-your-strengths question comes up.. I never did get around to seeing "A Day Without A Mexican". But apparently it's a pretty hot ticket and is now on it's way to a library downstate.

I go to check out and I'm told I owe thirty dollars in fines. I didn't blow up. Instead I was just stunned. Last week I asked the clerk who was checking out my books if she could renew the dvds I had taken out and were due that day. She said no problem. It was a big mistake to trust the spacey dyed bitch. Tonight's clerk was expecting drama and I told him flatly it wasn't his fault so no big deal. However I get to deal with the supervisor. I was frustrated because I expect when someone tells me no problem that it will be no problem.

This was followed by a trip to Wallyworld. Last week I asked the head of their music department if the collection of songs on the cd were original tracks or were they updated version by the same artist. You couldn't tell based on the packaging information.I asked if it could be returned if I opened it. He said, "No problem". Big mistake.

A note to bands of the past. I want to hear the original version of your song. Your update versions do nothing for me. Your voices have been destroyed by the large amounts of alcohol and drugs that you put into your system. Contrary to what you've been told, you suck. I thought my ears were about to bleed because your voice just butchered the song that put you on the map.

I had to deal with the store manager. He was a pretty cool guy actually. There must have been a turnover. I asked him where I could find mace or pepper spray because I needed replace what I have. He told me they no longer carried it. No I have not been living under a rock. But I went to 5 stores. Four of them were male clerks who kept directing me from store to store. One place showed me that I could buy bear repellant. Let me get this straight. I can buy bear repellant for a whopping $34.95 but not mace. It makes total sense. Of course, a pack of Grizzlies was spotted on the Kennedy heading for the Addison exit because they want dibs on the new bleacher seats at Wrigley Frield.

Finally I ended up at Jewel where the lovely ladies clued me in to what was going on. Because of the E2 nightclub disaster, Gov. B. banned used of pepper spray in club because of the boneheaded security guards. My heart goes out to the families who lost loved one in that nightmare. If it means going on a scavenger hunt for me then it's all good. It is what it is. I went with an alternate. I bought myself a can of Aquanet. That stuff will stun just about anybody.

Speaking of which, Gov. B. signed into law banning stun guns. Oh yeah, that makes me feel like doing a Toyota jump.

LIfe is a highway

Last night's dream involved me looking into a mirror to find that my face had upside down v's on my face. They were just there. They weren't huge but enough to leaving me wondering.I have no clue how they got here. Any takers as to what it means?

This taking vitamins before you go to sleep thing is a stroke of genius. Thank you Kathy O'Malley. On the other hand, I wasted an evening chopping onions for a household hint. I thought I had the wuss gene because anytime I have to cut an onion I'd just ball like Weeping Wanda. After onion number 4, the crying gene takes a powder and let's you do your thing.

Well it was my turn to be Weeping Wanda. As I was about to make Ethel lunch, Fred provides the lunchtime soap opera. He launches into how he's going to go the pharmacy and give them what for. As with everything else these days, automated telephone systems have been around for several years. Fred just cannot deal. He cancelled his membership to AAA because of it. The family Bluesmobile died on some local road in the middle of a wind-chill temperature day. He called the 1-800 number on the card at the time. It went into automated system mode. The concept was so over Fred's head it might as well have been someone's lost contact in Lake Michigan. He said that he couldn't get ahold of anyone after which he called back here. If I remember correctly, B.J. went and picked him. Well that card hit the can and was never seen from again.

So I step up and at first kindly remind him that it's not the pharmacy's fault for the automated system being in place. He grumbled on and I just followed direction like I usually did when I ordered their meds. When I finally got ahold of a live person, Fred shouted,"You tell them it's for Mr. Fred, and to have it ready yesterday.". I stopped my conversation with the pharm tech and told him to chill out. After I got off of the phone, I explained that contrary to his delusions he's not Prince or Elvis. If the tech is new and never seen him before, saying it's for Mr. Fred isn't going to mean squat. I told him that I had written the amount on the message pad. Then Fred starts spinning it on me how this is ALL my fault. Ethel chimes in, "That's right Starla, apologize to your father for being wrong". My good mood lasted until those last words came out of her mouth. I felt hurt and angry.

First of all, these meds had a prescription that was expired which Fred knew about to renew and told me he was going to handle. Fine. Then there was the delay because the tech's had to get Dr. Curious's approval before dispensing it. Followed by some reason Fred didn't want me to them pick up. Okay. Yesterday the pharmacy left a message stating that the medicine arrived and that there was a three day window to pick it up. He starts on a tirade where he berates me about how I'm worthless, etc...
Then he has the audacity to ask me to go handle paperwork. Meanwhile during all of this Ethel keeps interuppting to try and change the subject. I just walked out. I could still hear him screaming through the door. And Ethel wonders why I'm not married. Oh yeah. What a feeling.

I tried multitasking and thought it would be a good a idea to catch up on paperwork while watching a movie that was soon due at the library. It was "Tuesdays With Morrie". Big mistake. Humanity Critic devoted a entry to crying recently. I challenge him to watch this and try not to cry. I couldn't do it. This feeling of emotion just welled up and the tears just poured through like a endless Niagara Falls. It just wouldn't stop. Of course this is the one day I choose to wear makeup and concealer. All gone. Not a tissue to be found anywhere. The dvd was having problems so I ended reading the last two chapters that I never got around to finishing when I read it the first go around awhile ago. I can't recall that I was ever so moved by reading a book that I was moved to cry yet again. I've experienced every other emotion when I was reading but never Niagara Falls tears.

It was very cleansing. He gave some insight into relationships that I hadn't known about before.

It's A Beautiful Day

Yes easy readers. The sun was out today. I did something that I haven't been able to do in 8 years. I visited my electrologist. Fred and Ethel were behaving like normal people. Fred didn't go ballistic when I told him I had a appointment to go to. I found her new location perfectly. I was fifteen minutes early to boot. I wasn't even interested in the desserts she had on the buffet.

The last time I had seen her, her son was at an age when he was afraid to go away to sleep away camp and her daughter was planning her bat mitzvah. Now they're both in college. Where has the time gone? M. looked flawless as always. She has not gained an ounce. I'm so proud that she and her husband did such a great job raising their kids. I wonder what Zach will be like when he gets to be their age. I have a lot of respect for any parent trying to raise kids these days.

I was very impressed in how well versed she was about PCOS. If I had the insurance she would have given me a referral for a doctor she knows. It still ticks me off after reading on the boards that hair removal for women is not covered under most insurances. They can cover pills for a guy so his dick can harden. But a woman who wants facial hair removed so she's not ostracized in public can't possibly be insured for a "cosmetic procedure". That was one of the reasons I surmised that Chez Paul just wasn't that into me. Going in for job interviews are as competitive as any Southern Sorority Rush. Tell me how many places would hire a woman with any facial hair. Not many. It's understandable. In a place of business, everyone should be well-groomed and looking presentable.

Stan and Terry said it best on their radio show today. You wouldn't want your doctor who's about to do surgery on you come in to the operating room with tattoos up and down his arms, a earring on his eyebrow and his tongue, talking about how hung over he was from the other night. Just the same as you wouldn't want you lawyer walking into court wearing Dr. Marten boots with fishnets,leather mini-skirt, and matching leather jacket with chains.The unfortunate reality is that you're judged by what you put out there.

I got a not so good letter today. You can forget but there's always a reminder.

What A Jagged Little Pill

About know I'd start to list how my day went. It would include whatever comments I received and thoughts I had to the events of the day. Instead I'm stewing in a sea of outrage, confusion, frustration, disappointment, concern, and lastly prayer. I read something today that just disturbed me to no end. I can't believe something like this has hit close to home literally and figuratively. I can't shake the way I feel. It's been over 4 hours and I still am wrapping my head around this action that was taken locally.

Because I can problem solve other situations besides my own, there's an opportunity where I can be a part of the answer. However, I'm tethered to obligations that are not easy to untie. It's not just about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. My actions would rock the foundation of where I stand. That's pretty harsh considering that I always have one foot out of the door as it is.

A while ago I had made peace with the religion of my family because of Ethel's cancer. Perhaps God is testing me now. I want to dig my heels in on this one. I pray that for guidance that will lead me to the decision that is best for me.

In a interesting turn of events, I've discovered masks of some people who I thought I could trust. This isn't a the whole world is against me kind of thing. It's more of my surprise to the unexpected reaction to situations I thought they agreed with me. Trying to filter fair weather friends is not easy.

'Cause life is like this

Low drama days make me happy. Listening to the news reporters flipping out about the upcoming blizzard makes me laugh. It's January. If it didn't snow in the Midwest, what would we do? We could try to build the biggest margarita glass and line it with the unused salt. Donate the proceeds to world peace.

Speaking of margaritas why is there a Cheeseburger in Paradise in Illinois for? I love Jimmy Buffett. I don't know what Warren Buffett sings during kareoke but my saving grace is being able to sing "Margaritaville". Yes I know I could change my destiny and head to either coast. Perhaps revive the Poconos hotel circuit in lounge singing. I don't see the need to franchise everything. I like regional food. Fred always say you should make an effort to try to have something new whenever you go out to eat.

Ethel's health is freaky this morning. It will be another teeth puller to get her to go the doctor. I was able to have my morning coffee and no cheap shots. But I was reminded by Ethel about the bad dream I had told her about a few weeks ago. The dream was that four men walked through the living room. After yesterday I'm creeped out. Oh curses DishNetwork. Please bring back the Lifetime network. I having severe withdrawl not being able to watch Designing Women and Golden Girls.

This rant goes to those sites that won't let me in to post so I'm doing it here. One will be more obvious that the other. Site one, I've cleared my cookies and files, done the rebooty rumpshake more than once, sent you two emails and still no response. I will email them again on Monday if nothing has happened. I'm a generally nice quirky chic with something to contribute. The next rant is more directed.

While I'm usually such a champion of what Dr. Phil has to say. The program title was "Kids Ask Dr. Phil". This could have been a repeat but I don't know. Today I felt like throwing cheese puffs at the TV and quoting back to him, his famous question of "What the hell were you thinking?". It was his response to a 15yr. old girl whose mom banned her from posting onto www.facebook.com in the house. The budding authoress left herself logged on and mom stone cold busted her. The site contained bikini photos of her as well she listed everything that she's been doing with the boyfriend that her parents had no clue about. Dr. Phil had the opinion that this girl should be allowed to go back on because she's generally a "good kid". Um hello. You outed her on national television that this girl has been logging on at home while her parents aren't at home. As well, her mom knows about it and has let it slide. I'm sorry but this mother and daughter did not deserve a trip to your studios for this topic. Your staff as well as yourself COMPLETELY dropped the ball on this one.

ABC or NBC did a report on facebook craze. Here's something I bet you didn't know. College admissions reps are lurking on these sites and documenting EVERYTHING these kids are posting. There are those who are denying admission to student because of their posting such sites. Some colleges are now requiring kids to list their personal websites along with their essays for admission. Little Miss Facebook and her mama are in for a rude awakening come college admission time and can't figure out why her darling precious gets rejected from her dream college. There are government agencies who are refusing to let college kids become interns because of what they posted.

Even though Google hasn't let "The Man" have access to their search records that doesn't mean that it hasn't happened already. College kids are being booted left and right for what they've posted online. Two young womens death could have been prevented were it not for these places.

A litte bit older and a little less bolder

How my day was a shit sandwich. A rotten beginning, a fun middle, and scary end.

Last night I set my watch alarm for 6am. I had a killer toothache that kept me up until 2am. I had a 9am appointment to take the car in with Fred. The alarm never went off or most likely it missed my radar. Fred decides he doesn't want to go after all. Neither of them bother to wake me up. I woke up at 8:45am. Cursing at alarm. Don't you just love swearing at inatimate objects as if they can react just like people?

While I'm racing to grab coffee, Fred casually says I knocked on your door but you didn't wake up. Understatement of the year. When you see someone sleeping who has to get somewhere and missed hearing the alarm, chances are it would be a good idea to get them up. God I must have just made their day. Ethel lives for days when I fuck up. If there was a Olympic sport for post error wrap ups I've got your Gold medal team right here folks! Expected arguement ensues between Fred and I. Ethel interrupts with her words of wisdom because she's being ignored. He threatens to throw a midget coffee table, I don't know how to describe it and I don't have a digital camera, at me. I reply 911 and your dream can come true. He goes on to utter the bane of their existence, "We should have never let you go to Missouri." Off to the dealership I went.

A thousand and one blessings to the dealership for having fresh coffee, to Johnny Cash for still having a warranty, and to Amy Grant who's soothing voice calmed my nerves after such a rocky start. I almost burst into tears in the waiting area her songs touched me that much. Because neither of them called to cancel the appointment with Dr. Curious I had to do it. I knew there was no snowballs chance in hell that we'd make it out there in time. To my displeasure I got Mrs. Curious on the phone. Lucky me. She was pissed that I called an 2 hours before the appointment to cancel. So, what else is new? My name must be etched in stone for being in the family doghouse as often as I am. I stopped off at My Sister's Closet for some much needed shopping therapy. I need to parlay my anger into something more positive I know. Moving the Chi and all that. I scored some great outfits at great prices. I added my nickel spin on the topic of the day. The next stop was the local library to pick up a DVD I had put on hold. I had a great conversation with the reference librarian who gave me some good job advice as well grad school and encouraged me to become a volunteer to teach English. Afterwards I stocked up on groceries and came home for a late lunch.

I chatted with Ethel who stated she would have been more than happy to have woken me if only I had asked. Fred threatens to take the car away from me. Um yeah okay, then who's going to do the errands, drive you and Ethel to family functions, church, and doctor's visits? I left again to pick up a item greatly needed and on sale. I was shocked that one location closed it was never advertised as going out of business. That's too bad. I went to the next one, found what I needed. I picked up the shampoo but forgot the dental floss. The last stop was to pick up a crossword puzzle book for Ethel. I arrive at 6:30pm to the following situation.

I pull in to park. There are four tall thugs sitting on my neighbors car, which is the spot next to mine. I know my neighbors do not know them nor do they associate with them. Race and ethnicity is not a issue but being dressed in current gangbanger clothing was enough for me to go into a panic. My gut instinct was screaming for me not to get out of that car. I stayed inside. I was not about to leave the car and get jumped or worse. Four men vs. one women, you do the math. I'm not Zena and I'm not old enough to pull of the Old Lady Crazy mode on them. I could hear them talking smack about me through the closed windows. The negative lexicon documented by misogynist rappers spewed out their mouths like a open fire hydrant. I called Fred and Ethel on the cell but they didn't pick up. I had had enough and finally dialed 911. The 911 center wanted me to describe them. I was too frightened to turn around and play I spy a thug with the 911 person but informed them that if I left the car at least the cops could do a thorough inspection of things afterwards.

For whatever reason the thugs must have gotten bored with me and left. I finally get ahold of Fred and Ethel to let them know I'm coming inside. Of course, Fred spins the whole incident that it was my fault for being out. Excuse me. I was not coming home at 3am from a night out on the town. I would like to go to grad school and University of Phoenix online is not how I want to go. Daylight savings time can't come soon enough for me. I know rapists attack in the daytime too. Post-scaredy cat wrap, I thought I should learn how to use a firearm. I can't believe I'm saying this. I'm the same person who took an Intro to Peace Studies class. I break and honk for animals so I don't run over them. I have taken a self-defense class. I guess it's a sign for me to brush up. Any advice would be appreciated as to how I could have handled the situation differently.

The silver lining to this day was I got a letter. I was tickled pink at reading the information. It was the last thing I read before I went to sleep.

Every Other Day Of The Week Is Fine

I should know by now when I hear the radio on and Fred is in a good mood this early in the morning that I'm pretty much screwed. I had barely put my coffee cup down on the table and said good morning to Ethel when she nails me with the following,"You need to apologize to Minnie for what you said. She'd bring Zach over more often if it wasn't for you." Good fucking morning to you too. After I made my parting shots I got up immediately and left the room. Fred tried to joke with me in the kitchen. I warned him not to lay a finger on me with hot coffee in my hand. Then he called me a ungrateful bitch as I was closing the door. Yeah I don't like Mondays.

I'm trying very hard to put this into perspective. I have bouts of loneliness. It's not about being alone per say. I enjoy my company. I have no problem occupying my time. I have more than enough to do. It's that I need to build up my support system. I have to use unconventional means. Most people learn their networking abilities when they're little. Their parents have friends and usually socialize their kids with their friends, etc... This is not a dig against my parents.

Ethel just put her trust in the very people who she believed had her best interest at heart even after they stabbed her in the back more times than count. Her siblings are out for themselves. She measures my failures, her words not mines, against the typical success of her siblings' children. All but one are married, have children, and live the picture perfect life in the burbs. It's cool. Fred is the type to be Mr. JoeFriendly out in the world. However that doesn't translate when he gets home. His misogynistic ideas of women are constantly challenged by me. Again, it's who they are for better or worse. B.J. at one point actually blamed them as well as me for not introducing him to people when he returned to the States. He lamented he ended up with Minnie as a result of default. Dude that ship sailed because you were in stupid land when you got engaged and refused to listen to anyone.

Okay "The Golden Globes" are on. NBC how much narcotics did you do when you chose that theme song? OMG big poo-yucky. Adrian Brody your ascot made the rest of you outfit look like you slept in it from the night before. I do have to admit I was very happy to see Sandra Oh, Felicity Huffman, Reese Witherspoon, and Joaquin Phoenix win. Jeremy Piven was robbed as far as I'm concerned for his category.

Two new websites to check out easy readers. www.soulcysters.com -for those with pcos
and www.pattyduke.blogspot.com - for those with bi-polar and depression.

In the unexpected category,local news reported Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, and her daughters were on the sidelines during yesterday's game. Dude, that's why we got jonesed out of a win. This isn't a Lakers game. The Bears do not need fair weather celebrities on their sidelines. I hope the scalper prices you paid for the seats were worth it. Soldier Field is very touchy about who goes on the sidelines during a game. So much for security. If I were one of the McCaskey's, I would have hauled your butts back to where your seats were located.

Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue

A Haiku of my weekend.

The Bears lost.
I chipped a tooth.
The car's check engine light is on.

Look for the silver lining

Despite the gray day weather, with the blowing wind, sleet, and dropping temperature, I felt sunshine all around me. I'm going to cherish little victories. I made my list, planned my work, and worked my plan. There were no interruptions. Of any kind. I thought for sure that the old adage of when you make plans God laughs. Scroll down a bit for the laughter part.

I completed all of my errands that were postponed by circumstance or my ADHD. I found a new bar and a new restaurant that I hadn't noticed before. I was so excited at my discoveries. You have no idea how rare this is for me.

I had time to stop in one of my favorite vintage shops. I found this heart shaped stitched sampler. I thought it was absolutely beautiful but didn't how it was framed. In a previous life as a custom framer I would not have framed it in this fashion. My critical eye began to create options for presentation in my head. I made the mistake of looking at the back. I wanted to see if it was stretched properly vs. just slapped on a board because the over time the acidic content of the paper would cause damage. Well I lifted a corner of the butcher paper to peek and *PHOOM* this backdraft of dust hits me in the face. This reaction causes me to drop the piece and *KABOOM* the frame is in pieces on the floor. I was absolutely mortified. I never had that happen to me as a customer. I felt bad about it. The only right thing to do was to follow my own retail credo. If you break it, you buy it. Luckily it was only two dollars and the manager only charged me a one. What a gracious lady.

In domestic news, my remote is shot to hell. You know it's time to get a new one when the exposed wires that you've connected to the new batteries start to smoke. The TV in question is four years old. A universal remote does not work with this set. I've tried and returned two already. I called the company. It would cost me sixteen dollars for a new one.

The result was the following retail situation. I decided to go to the local BestBuy (yes I'm naming names so bite me) because that's where I got the set in the first place. When I was greeted I asked where I would find the remotes, I was directed to the "home theater section". There were manclerks in the section. Not a one approached me to ask I needed help. Just another case of SWF,shopping while fat. I don't know how they could of missed me. It wasn't like there was a rush of people yelling, "Oooh, I need to run up my credit card some more so I can get a Plasma TV to watch the Bears kick some Panther ass this weekend". So I went my merry way and picked up the spyware remover that I so desperately needed. When I was waiting in line at the checkout, another cashier approached me because she was free. K. asked me if I had found everything okay. I explained how I couldn't find a remote. She gushed about a universal remote that the store carried that worked on a family member's Zenith TV. Now that's old school. She literally walked me back to the department and found that remote for me. Granted it was out my price range but she alone completely turned it around for. I hardly ever shop there because the customer service for this location is such a crap shoot. It's like a guy you're dating who you know is a total asshole but there are times when he shows his good side so that's why you keep dating him. I'm calling corporate on Monday to let them know what a great person she is.

RIP Lord & Taylor is hitting the skids. I say good riddance. Reason being, eons ago I was out of work and desperate for a job. I interviewed for a sales gig at Water Tower. Believe me when I say I was more than qualified for the job. Miss SnootyMcTribe,meaning she is of my same ethnic background and not a dig against anyone, had the audacity to give me the following reason for not hiring me and it's stuck with me for some reason. "You don't have the sparkle. I'm looking for someone who can sprinkle fairy dust and you don't have it." Shit, if you want fairy dust I suggest you look to the roadshow of "Peter Pan". When you are pounding the pavement in frustration, freaking out inside about how you're going to pay rent, and wondering how bad could it be to practice the world's oldest profession for one day, the last thing you have in your kit bag is Merry Freakin' Pixie Dust. A person has to say seven good things to a person to erase the ONE bad thing they've said to him/her. I'm sure she's gotten what karma deemed as necessary.

I finally got around to emptying Johnny Cash of the crap left behind by Joe Burglar and Joe MethHead. The other day I got a call that they had a match on the fingerprints that were taken on the day of the robbery. I'm taking their stuff and donating it as soon it's been washed. While I was going through their stuff, I found a note. On it was scrawled a prisoner number, a court date, and the phone number to Cook County Jail. Just touching it gave me the creeps.

May better days be ahead. Amen.

Here comes the sun

I didn't see the sunrise. I was up at the bewitching hour of 4am to get Ethel to the hospital for a 6am CT scan. The radio first seranaded us with theme from "Shaft" and "It's Your Thing", the original version. It made me smile. The surprising thing was how busy the roads were at that time of night. The sky was black and there was a slit where white light was peering out. Freaky. But I had my ritual gear of a book and CD player of spiritual music to get me through the lull in the waiting room.

Afterwards it was a rare breakfeast outing.Poor thing had to fast and then drink the most blechy, yuchy stuff called contrast. They try to dress it up with a banana flavor but they're not fooling anyone. When we got back I took a brief nap. Then it was Fred's turn to go to Dr. Curious. His prescription expired so he had to go in. Of course Fred manages to catch some poor person off guard and talk his ear off. You could tell the guy had that deer-in-the-headlights look in wanting to make a quick getaway.

Dr. Curious gets my nomination for sainthood for dealing with Fred and Ethel. But I disagree with his course of action regarding Fred and the impending Alzheimer's. He's been more forgetful lately. The problem here is the meds for Alzheimer's come with some pretty harsh side effects that would inflict with Fred's med as it is. It's just like I'm slowly watching a runaway train that I have no control to stop.

Mrs. Curious was in the office as the admin. When she found out where I had been she said, "Well why didn't you put Fred in the car and come directly here from the hospital?". Um yeah. Fred is a bigger PITA when he doesn't get his beauty sleep and I'm going to have to entertain all morning when I'm not feeling Mary Sunshine myself. Common sense. Got some? Seeing as she is a ally of Minnie's I decided it wasn't worth it. Just let it lie.

The bigger surprise was to see the ex-Mrs. Dr. Curious office partner, Dr. Worldly. This women was put into a prearranged marriage at 18 to Dr. Worldly. He seemed nice enough. His family was affulent.They had five kids. All was well until, Mrs. Worldly took a hike and had an affair with a man older than her father. Divorce subsequently followed. Two years ago Dr. Worldly suffered a heart attack from the stress of it all. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Mrs. Worldly's brother, Mr. ThinksWithHisLittleHead, earned his divorce by having sex with a stripper at a friends bachelor party while he was married. I have no idea why married men think they can do this and not be discovered. Her younger sister married for love but in the end it didn't work out. I'm not aware of the details. Their dad is a piece of work. His wife tried to leave in the first year of marriage. It was Aunt Imogene to the rescue to play unliscensed marriage counselor. Regardless of her warped way of thinking, whatever she said saved their marriage.

In the age of undercover video surveillance no one is immune. If you really want to have a good laugh, go watch the show "Cheaters". People when busted will vehemently deny wrongdoing but when the host says "we have you here on tape" it's hard to backtrack.

The weather today was simply lovely. The sun was out. The birds were foraging for food. The sunny day definitely put Fred in a better mood. The highlight of my evening will be to finally make it to a book club meeting. The last time I tried to do this, I was called to babysitting duty and the blizzard of the year hit. Having the cell phone problem does have it's advantages. I had such a blast tonight. It wasn't long and I picked up some videos for the weekend. Toodles.

We're Not Gonna Take It

The musical reference is courtesy of The Who and not Twisted Sister.

This morning Fred's sugar count was 200. To say that it's not good is a understatement. He's supposed to be taken to the nearest emergency room when this happens. He outright refused to go and pitched a total fit. He wouldn't listen to anything I had to say. This macho bravado is such a bunch of bullshit. I could wring his buddies necks. Fred actually pulled the "my buddy's is at 220 and he doesn't have to go". OMFG. Bottomline he wants me gone. Fine. I called his doctor so I'm not held liable for neglect. I'm burnt out being the family kicking post.

In other medical adventures I took Ethel to the dentist. On the caride over I stated my case. She needs to get her dental work done. They had built a wedding fund for me. I told her it was okay with me and spend the money on her now. Let's be realistic unless God,the Apostles, and the Virgin Mary knock on the door and introduce to Mr. He Loves Me for Me and wants to creates a Team Us with me, it's wrong to deny herself care of any kind when Fred doesn't at all. Her teeth have really taken a beating because of the chemotherapy treatment.

I informed her of my intentions to apply to graduate school. She actually said it was wrong for me to go. Hold up. It's okay for all the other girl cousins to go ahead and get MBA's and JD's but I'm supposed to hang back with just a bachelor's and settle for some schlock job. Fuck no. My days of being denied opportunities because her brother and sister ,who total are insecure jealous asshats, won't approve of it are over. They can't stand when myself or B.J. accomplish anything. I embraced my inner grown-up. I told that I loved her and if she didn't want to help me that's her decision. But that's not going to stop me. M.A. before MRS. You can count on that baby.

She tried to convince me that the abusive behavior my relatives dish out was normal. I point blank asked her how Grandpa P. would feel if he knew about the treatment she and I were getting from Fred. She told me even though she never got hit by him on the days when she tried to disagree about things he would throw things at her, like a piece of wood,barely missing her to get his point across. That little incident happened when she was thirty. OMG. This grandfather was held in such high esteem in lore and legend. He has just had the curtain pulled away. They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

(post doctors and B.J. visit update)10 something in the evening

Yes I said doctors. Dr. Teeth took a look and a referral was made toute suite. After we got home I called said referral, begged, and got her in for a same day appointment. Two hours later we were out of there. Dr. Specialty Teeth was cool. I thanked everybody for fitting us in on such short notice. I know what a PITA staying late is and all you want to do is stay home. Mental note. Followup visit with him after the Rockette Teeth tour. I had to go in there because she was scared having someone new work on her. It's pretty funny that the book I'm reading involves chocolate and was read in dental offices. Proper meds were picked up and paid for. In a shocking surprise Fred had dinner waiting on the table. I thought it was too good to be true.

There's a rumble in the jungle. If you scroll a bit you'll see my tribute to the insomnia and the day being way off. Ethel didn't sleep at all that night either. Say what you want about the following. Whenever something major happens to a family member or someone close I sense it big time and Ethel does too.

B.J. is in major distress. I can't go into detail pending possible legal action. I can say this. Minnie I'm going to turn the cheek about the false gossip you've been saying about me. I may not be as well connected as you. I wasn't the Sweetheart of Sigma Chi. But I provided you with cash loans when you asked and NEVER did you repay, free babysitting, and items for your son. I will get my wagons in the circle. Mobilize the relatives with just one call. You can fool everyone else with your sainted act but I knew who and what you were from the minute I laid my eyes on you. I hope you recall that discussion we had at Club Lucky before you married B.J. I have never seen him like this. I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. I know you and B.J. can handle yourselves. Grownups can bounce back. Your priority should be your son. My mother should be recovering from surgery in peace and not have to hear such unsettling news.

In the past I would have confronted you and gone off but your kind thrives on dillusional drama. I'm turning it over to the Lord. I'm praying for guidance and help during this stressful time. If anyone reading this can pray for B.J. and my family, I'd appreciate it.

Make A Wish, Take A Chance, Make A Change

Improvements for 2006 and beyond
(in no particular order)
-continue to purge clutter welcome the "Hey I have too much crap tour 2006"
-keep consistent beauty aid treatments
-install artwork and shelves
-introduce a form of exercise and maintain a 3 times a week schedule
-following through quicker on tasks
-become more spiritual and pick a place of worship
-volunteer in the community
-get a job with tuition reimbursement
-rekindle certain friendships and make amends
-be more patient, forgiving, compassionate, and understanding
-take care of medical issues
-research and apply to graduate school
-create 4 pieces of artwork
-write more in journals leading me to greener pastures
-get more social
-make home improvements
-create a business plan and implement
-improve the relationships I have
-complete unfinished projects
-say please, thank you, and I love you a lot more
-become more self-sufficient and stay that way
-learn a foreign language
-surround myself with people who will love and support me unconditionally
-make God more of a partner in my life plan
-try out for Second City
-sing on stage
-earn enough money to be able to buy my parents a house
-learn to snowboard
-be less envious and more supportive
-be slow to anger and quick to (I forget I'll fill in when I find it)

It will be interesting to see later what happens and see which ones get accomplished. I'd at the very least plant a seed for some of this wishes. There were others that were left off of the list because those are more personal. Nonetheless, they are written down and may they come true.

Must be the season of the witch

The truce that started last Wednesday ended this morning. With my having 2 hours of sleep, Fred opens the door and starts yelling and swearing at me to get up or we'll be late. Fabulous, he now has Ethel's disease of having to be super dooper early. My lack of sleep has caused me to embrace my inner witch and I like it. We didn't have to be at the eye specialist until 10:30 a.m. We live in decent driving distance of this hospital where he's affilated. There is no snow on the ground. No dignitaries are town with parades routes on our street. I tried to assure him we could get there on time. He still complained so I threw on some clean clothes and went to the car.

After I waited, I finally found him on his daily "walk". When I told him it was time to go he said he needed to go back home and do somethings. Holy cheese and crackers. I had to lay down the law so he didn't spout out Archie Bunkerisms to the office staff. The last time he did this to a staffer, she was very upset and complained while at the desk. She had no idea I was there and I felt bad for hear. He wouldn't let me park the car and I had to drop him off at the entrance because his knee hurt. I guess the jaunt did him in.

It was business as usual. I tried to read a book and Fred kept making excuses to chat. End result is schedule another visit. I get home and schedule Ethel's dental appointment. I was able to get her in this week. Upon letting her know, she complained as to why I didn't schedule another appointment. Yes m'am I live to serve.

I need to get stuff done. It's a good thing coffee is my afternoon delight today.

I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself

It's around 3am and I have insomnia big time. Last night the upstairs neighor's child was sick and crying loud at 3:30 a.m. and didn't stop until 6:30a.m., that slowed my game plan somewhat. Nothing like interrupted sleeping patterns.

I spent yesterday catching the last day of My Sister's Closet sale. Don't fret if you missed it. The next big sale is February 5th which is Superbowl Sunday. I went to a big box store on Elston to return a universal remote which is neither universal nor working as a remote. The line wasn't that bad about a 15 minute wait. I should have known better than to try to return something on a Sunday. What really shocked me was the number of people that had gaggles of children with them in line. I just couldn't figure out how they could have 4 or 5 kids. They were all wild too. I tell you this if B.J. or I had pulled any of that crap in public Ethel would have handled us with spankings in public and at home later.

I truly enjoyed Grey's Anatomy last night. Yes Patrick Dempsey is hottie but he always has been to me. I appreciated the way the program was structured because there were some sections that were unclear to me before. It helps to have the blanks filled in.

I took a shower because I have something going on in the morning. I don't know if this happens to anyone else but I had a burst of ideas while I was in the shower. I know there's pens that write underwater and I could have used one. I tried to hold on to the zone moment but instead I became more anxious.

After my shower I went ahead and wrote out my list of improvements for 2006 and beyond. There were a quite a few but my mind is not in the hand eye coordinating mode to look at my notebook.

From the looks of things easy readers pop in from time to time. I appreciate the thought. However I think it's creepy to have my blog come up if you do a search under anorexic mineral oil. After I've had my coffee, I'll probably think it's funny. Here's the deal dude, if Zach even sees a bottle of that stuff in the store he cringes like most men would when they see a guy get kicked in the balls, please find another way to get thin. Mineral oil will help you stay thin.

The reason I haven't posted is because some things went down last week and got real ugly. I had some things in draft that I didn't publish before it happened. At this point there's a truce of sorts. I may or may not post it.

I thought if I denied myself writing and making myself get other things done I'd see this as a reward. Big mistake. Writing for me is like breathing. When I get my painting area set up I'll be back on track.

I have this tendency to push people away and things that I like to do. It's not so much self-sabotage as it is protecting myself. I've totally screwed up recent opportunities because I was scared to death to start. As an artist I think everything I create is total shit. I'm always going back and overanalyzing when I should just let it be.

Why Can't We Be Friends?

You know, I don't know what I'm waiting for. No clue as to why I do what I do. I've always joked that I could spent a week on Dr. Phil's couch to figure out what I need to do.

Yesterday I planned to take Ethel to get some testing done. These were walk-in outpatient testing. No appointment was necessary. However Fred decides to throw a fit that we were late. Mind you Fred has taken her only to TWO appointments tops throughout this whole thing.The cycle of anger displacement filtered down to me. In my mind I feel I don't put up with it. I know I verbally try to defend myself. I refuse to get on the road and sit with morning rush hour traffic when it can be avoided. The hospital is not going to pick and move to Wisconsin without telling anyone.

Ethel has a nasty habit of talking trash about me within my earshot. She tells Fred at the kitchen table that I've gotten a late start and I'm too slow. I called her on it while we were driving. In the past three years of taking both of them to their scheduled appointments I've pretty much been on time, give or take five minutes of lateness when averaged. I'm not a idiot. I'm not lazy. I have ADHD as well as being bi-polar. Just a few added bonuses along with having pcos. I could think of better things I could have stood inline for than having these undiagnosed mental health issues growing. Yes it's my bag. Moving on.

With no good deed going unpunished, I've had a rash on my chest since New Year's Day.I'm suspecting it's the pound cake concoction that was sent home with us from Aunt Freddie.

Fred is not taking care of himself. I'd love to hire a private investigator to find out where the hell he goes when he leaves the house. Because he almost blew off a appointment, I found out by his admission that he and his buddies go out and leave their cars at the mall. His insulin levels are fluctuating so much lately that it's like walking on eggshells to gauge his mood.

Today is no exception. I tried to stay out of his way but that didn't happen. It's my responsibility to do laundry for them. I tried to sort clothes yesterday so I could just get it done today and he wouldn't let me. I ignored him and walked away. This morning he totally freaks out why it wasn't already started and has Ethel just thrown whatever into the washer. Then she's pissed at me that I didn't start it on time. WTF??? I don't understand this self-sabotage deal they have going on. This isn't the first time this has happened. When the clothes come out dingy because they weren't sorted then all of the blame is heaped on me. She whines that she didn't want to use bleach. I start to ask her why she continues to do this (I know, stupid of me because it's not like a lightbulb is going go over her head) Fred yells at me to leave her alone and I tell him it doesn't involve him and to butt out. Fred steps into the kitchen,grabs me by the arm and starts to twist my wrist and threatens to hit me if I don't show them respect. I knock my hand out of his grasp and tell him when he does hit me I'll have him arrested for assault. I walk away to leave and his line of I'll throw you out flows out of his mouth as easy as melted snow into the sewer drain. I've love to walk away from all involved and let them implode upon themselves. I don't need a guardian angel to show me what their lives would be like if I weren't here. It just doesn't matter anymore. If I'm selfish then so be it. I want my soul to have some peace. I have nothing to show for my life because I've put others first.

I've tried to channel my frustration but it's not working. Those losses on eBay are a blessing in disguise.

A Little Runaway

It was the strangest thing yesterday. I could not find a Sunday Sun-Times at any of my local haunts. Freaky. I finally finished watching the ending of "Must Love Dogs". I liked the ending. Unlike Ethel I won't tell you how it ends. Go see it for yourself.

It is such a very gloomy day outside. Thunder is heard in the distance. Did anyone follow any New Year's traditions. I ate my black eyed peas. The band is okay in small doses. I tried a new tradition involving a pomagranite. This should be interesting. Yes I'm a goofball but you know what, that's okay.

Did the Rose Bowl game get moved to January 2 or is this a new development? I'll admit the only game I watched yesterday was when the Bears were pounced on by the Minnesota Vikings. We so could use another Super Bowl win.

The rich kid adventurer made it back to the States in one piece.A sixteen year old American-Iraqinan took his parents credit cards and took off for the Middle East to allegedly get a better understanding of what's going on his country. His little punk ass was so lucky the only bad thing that happened to him was that he got jonesed out of two hundred dollars for a cab ride. He claims he got the idea from a teacher at his private school who was an advocate for "immersion journalism".It's reality tv-like idea. That idea defeats the purpose of traditional journalism in the sense that you lose your objectivity of your story. Your bias is the result of becoming involved with the subjects of your story. The media has portrayed the parents as having a laissez-faire attitude. I didn't understand why the parents didn't fly over there immediately upon discovering his disappearance. It's suspicious that they didn't take the expected route of concern and fly out immediately to go get him. They need to be held responsible for his actions.

It may be harsh but this kid not only took a risk for himself. The minute he's in dangerous territory, our troops have to get into the act.They have more than enough to deal with than having to find and escort some little snot nosed kid back home. If that kid had gotten hurt you know damn well that finger pointing around the world would go to the troops for not taking care of him. Also what if troops had gotten hurt trying to protect him. If this kid was so wanted a better understanding, why not apply for Junior Peace Corps? The funniest quote about this story came from some official who said, "If he wanted to see Iraq, all he had to do was enlist." I could care less if he wanted to run with the bulls in Paploma. Go be Hemingway but no one should have to cover your candy ass.

Open a new window

I had a late start to my day. My tolerance for drinking is very low. I've trying to finish watching "Must Love Dogs". It is too cute. But the special features don't exist. Aside from the commentary from the director and a blooper reel, that was pretty much it. For some reason I prefer wide screen to full screen. It has to do with being able to see everything and not miss details. When a film is adjusted from the original film to adjust to a tv, I agree that some things are lost. I tried watching it after midnight but I just ended up falling asleep.

Of course the day started with me breaking one of my resolutions about being a kinder but gentler me in 2006. Ethel's new hairdryer is defective and of course according to Fred it's my fault that we didn't test it in the store. Well, I could have had a V8 too but life doesn't always work that way. I did feel bad though. I put it together and adjusted the height. In five minutes the neck kept falling down and bonnet did not adjust itself accordingly. All she did was complain and after 45 minutes I just had had enough. I didn't sneak in and beat it with a hammer. I would like to have a word with Joe or Jane Inspector on the assembly line who decided that this one was okay to ship in this condition from the Third World country that it came from. Where has the craftsmanship and pride in a job well done go to?

If you haven't already, go and get a copy of this month's horoscope on astologyzone.com . I find that this astrologist is most accurate. Yes it does contradict with my religious beliefs because it's a big no-no to be able to predict the future. I did love the daily quote from belief.net this morning. Perhaps this will be a motto for me to live my year.

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
-Anais Nin


Fred and Ethel apparently wanted to go to Uncle Maxim's house for New Year's Day. Stupid Minnie called this shot so I have to take them. Of course no one bothers to ask me what I want. So I get to spend the afternoon listen to sexist, racist, remarks by old men and fend off questions as to why I'm not dating, married, or lost weight, etc. Big fun let me tell you. Fred can't drive that far because his peripheral vision is completely shot to hell.
(post dinner update)
I survived the evening intact. It did not go as bad as I thought. Uncle Maxim's house is great. I loved the skylights in the kitchen. The kitchen looks into the formal dining room. I'd do shutters though. There were high ceilings and built in alcoves. Fred is such a liar. He claimed that they had no backyard. Um hello. They have a big honking deck and various fruit trees. I was lucky I got my directions from Uncle Maxim as opposed to the stylings of Fred screaming at from the top of his lungs for me to make various turns at the last minute and blame me if I miss an exit. The last time Fred and Ethel tried to get here they got lost. Aunt Frederica knocked herself out. There was enough food left over to send over to U.S. troops stationed overseas. Mr. Groper kept his distance. One of Aunt Frederica's brothers, Theodore and his wife Violet along with their daughters, Brandy and Candy, kept me in stiches. Violet is way cool. She has her B.A. in Business Administration and was in the Air Force. She presently in HR in some State gig. Her mom lives with her during the week and lives at her sister, Dottie, on the weekends.

Apparently my cousins B.J III and his sister Dinah, decided to party at downtown at the Marriot for $125- for the event that was open bar. Another $100 for the room. Parking was sixteen dollars. B.J III was disappointed because there weren't enough bartenders and the drink lines to up to a half hour wait. I joked that a couple could break up and find another date in that amount of time. He's dating some girl,Ella, he met through his sister. She is a "timekeeper" at the courthouse. She keeps the schedule of the officers who are on duty there. I asked if she had any other goals. He said she's pretty happy because it's a government job. Oh yeah that's what the suffragettes fought for, so she can have a job like that. He's looking to open up a restaurant. Um yeah with his parents money. Jackass. He just finished a class to be a building inspector. He was whining about the cost of liscensing and testing. I advised that he should try to get a real estate agency to sponsor him. He might as well get a real estate liscense too. I added he should pursue the building inspector job full-time so he could raise the cash for the restaurant and have a back plan in case it fails. He should know better because unfortunately 80% of restaurants fail in their first year.The inside scoop from Aunt Emma is that B.J.III dumped his longtime girlfriend, Virginia, because she wanted to get married and he didn't. Idiot. She is a pharmacist and could keep him in line.

Dinah is a spoiled little snot. The minute her trashy friends showed up, she ignored Brandy and Candy. I spent some time with the girls when I found them in the family room. I asked if this was a frequent thing that happens at this family function. They were very candid with me. Don't ask me how I do it. I have this uncanny ability or vibe where people will tell me things that they wouldn't necessarily tell anyone else. They informed me that Dinah will hang out with them but the minute anyone "cooler" shows up she blows them off. This is a common occurence. The girls and I had a blast. Watching "Pimp My Ride", talked about "My Sweet Sixteen" and chatting about what's hip in the tween and teenage sanctum.

Another annual occurrence is that Aunt Frederica's dining room can't fit everyone. I can't believe none of these people, who have background in the hospitality and restaurant management industry, did not suggest to add a banquet table and move the coffee table to the family room.We were crowded and that's not including the 12 people who didn't make it.

It's because I've heard Fred's stories way too many times. I wanted to stab my thigh with a fork so I could stop quoting the ending to his stories in my mind. At least I kept myself in check at the table.

We came home and I have some bizarre rash on my neck. I'm trying to figure out where it came from because I know I didn't have when we left.